


Only 70s Kids Remember

by penguin--empress (penguinempress)



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, That '70s Show
Genre: But ehhhh not really???, Drugs, F/F, F/M, M/M, Nico as Hyde, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Percy's a bit of a nerd, Reyna kicks ass, Slight OOC, Underage Drinking, Weed, everyone shows up at some point - Freeform, sorry - Freeform, teenage romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2018-11-17 23:30:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 61,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11279034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguinempress/pseuds/penguin--empress
Summary: Percy Jackson and friends are just trying to survive high school and all the drama that goes with it in the late 1970s.That 70s Show!AU





	1. Pilot

Point Place, New York  
May 17, 1976  
8:47 p.m.  
Location: Percy Jackson’s Basement

Percy listened to his parent’s party going on upstairs as he tried to look anywhere but at the glaring anarchist sitting across from him. He chose instead to focus on the mess of blonde curls sitting close to him in hopes that she would rescue him from the situation with her quick wit. Instead, he found her staring at him with wide gray eyes as if he were her only source of salvation. Why was it today that she chose to see him as a hero?

Next to her, a bouncy latino kid gestured wildly at him but kept his mouth firmly closed for fear that the anarchist would punch him again. With one last look behind the couch at his closest friend, the blond superman - who was currently leaning between Percy’s damsel in distress and the twitchy idiot - Percy sighed in defeat.

“Come on, Percy, it’s time,” the little anarchist’s tone left no room for argument.

That didn’t stop Percy from trying, though. “Why can’t you do it?”

“It’s your house!” came the obvious reply.

“Yeah!” the latino shouted in agreement.

“But, Nico…” Percy started to whine.

Nico rolled his eyes before pointing to the ceiling. “Listen, alright, man. The party has reached critical mass. In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities.”

Percy groaned. “If my dad catches me I’m a dead man!”

“I’m willing to take that risk!” Nico replied earnestly. “Right, Leo?”

The twitchy idiot nodded his head enthusiastically. “Yeah, man. Don’t worry! Just remain calm, and don’t stop moving.”

The encouragement only caused Percy to feel more nervous than before. He turned to his blonde damsel Annabeth in hopes that she would save the day with her wisdom. “And whatever you do, don’t look at my dad’s hair.”

Confusion was written across his face as he gaped at her.

“Just don’t look at it, Seaweed Brain!” she ordered.

Percy shot out of his seat at her commanding tone but Jason grabbed his shoulders in a firm grip before he could really move. “Cold, Percy. Cold beers.”

He hesitantly nodded his understanding before moving to the stairs where he turned to take one final look at all his dear friends. Before his fears could take complete control, he ran up the stairs. A short walk past the stairs led him to the kitchen where he nearly tripped over his mother, Sally, as she carried a tray of pizza rolls fresh from the oven.

“Oh, oh, watch it, Percy! Hot pizza rolls coming through!” She giggled drunkenly as someone called for her in the other room. “Oh, okay, take two! There’s plenty! I’m coming!” Percy heard her laugh loudly in the other room before catching only a snippet of her conversation when she shouted, “I know! Vienna sausages are so versatile!”

The more he tried to understand the meaning of that phrase the more his face scrunched up in horrified confusion. Eventually, he shook himself out of his thoughts to focus on the pounding of his heart as he reached for two beers.

“Hey, there Percy!” exclaimed Annabeth’s father from behind him. The man wobbled a bit on his feet before he threw an arm around his wife for stability, causing one of her arms to be effectively locked between them.

Percy almost threw the beers out the window before remembering how that was not something a normal person would do. He had to be like Nico or Jason right now. Okay, maybe not Jason “Goody-Two-Shoes” Grace. But definitely Nico. Just remain cool and confident no matter what, he though to himself. He turned to face the two with a cocky grin.

“Mr. Chase!” Percy wanted to kill himself for how his voice cracked.

Marybai Chase giggled and gestured towards her husband with her free arm. “So, Percy, what do you think of Fred’s hair?”

For a brief, terrifying second Percy forgot Annabeth’s warning as he caught a glimpse of the horrid mess that the Chases were calling hair. Percy was fairly certain that mop of curls was going to come alive and eat them in their sleep.

“Uh, it’s totally groovy, Mrs. Chase,” he tried to morph his grimace into a smile and was fairly certain he had been successful by the way Fred Chase beamed at him.

“Yeah, it was Marybai’s idea. It’s called a perm.”

Percy just nodded his head as the two left before turning back to the basement. Just as he was about to leave the kitchen, though, his father, Paul, came dashing into the kitchen with a very important question. “What the hell happened to Fred’s hair?”

With the beers hidden awkwardly behind his back, Percy just shrugged.

“He looks like a poodle’s ass,” came a snarky remark from behind Percy. An arm slug itself over his shoulder as he tensed, preparing for either the beat down to end all beat downs or the wedgie of the century.

Paul fixed them with a disappointed look. “Reyna, don’t use the ass word. You’re still in high school.”

Reyna was taller and stronger than any man Percy had ever seen in Point Place. Her hair was always pulled back in a braid or two, because if she moved just so she could beat you with her braid alone. She was probably the most intimidating person to ever exist, anywhere, ever.

She turned to Percy as if his father hadn’t said a word. “Well, what’ve we got here, Jackson?”

Percy paled as his father caught sight of his pilfered treasures.

“Son, what’re you doing with those beers?” Paul narrowed his eyes as Percy scrambled for a response.

Sally came dancing back into the kitchen as a timer went off for whatever food she was cooking in the oven. Drunkenly oblivious to the tension in the air, she waved giddily at the three of them. “Oh, sweetie, don’t forget to talk to Percy about the Vista Cruiser, okay?”

“Yes, dear,” Paul replied quietly with his eyes still glued to Percy.

It was at that moment that Sally decided to notice the two beers in her sixteen year old son’s hands. “Oh, honey, thank you for being such a wonderful son and putting those away for us! But please take these to the basement with you before you go. We have such a fantastic and responsible son, don’t we?”

Percy smiled innocently as he accepted the partially empty six-pack that she handed him.

Paul nodded understandingly as he patted Percy on the back, apparently too drunk to make coherent thoughts. “We really do.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Percy and Reyna raced down to the basement. As they descended the stairs, Reyna stole a can before she muttered, “You lucky son-of-a-bitch.”

***

While they wait for Percy to return from his grand quest, Leo flipped through a Playboy magazine. He leaned over to show Nico who just punched him in the arm. Annabeth stopped her nervous pacing to see what the two were looking at.

Her only response was to scoff. “I see that everyday.”

Heavy footfalls descended the stairs before Leo was able to retort. The group turned to find Percy holding enough beer for everyone, even the terrifying warrior standing beside him.

“Hey, Reyna,” Nico greeted as he grabbed a beer. As he put his aviator glasses back on, he added, “And congrats, Jackson, you survived.”

If Percy hadn’t been so excited he probably would have taken offense to the disappointment that laced the young outcast’s voice. But, as it was, Percy’s mood was not going to be destroyed by some Italian piss-ant. “Good news! I’m getting the Vista Cruiser!”

Leo leaped out of his seat, spilling beer all over his shirt and pants in the process. “A car!? Can I…”

“No! No, no, no! You are not to go anywhere near my car with your tools!” Percy shouted, cursing himself for the way his voice cracked several times.

Jason slapped him on the shoulder as he grabbed a beer. “Nice, Jackson!”

Annabeth slid up next to him as she pulled a beer out of the case. “Have I ever told you how incredibly attractive you are, Seaweed Brain?”

Percy shook his head quietly, fearful that his voice would crack again.

Leo snickered. “You told me he was cute.”

Reyna climbed over the couch to sit next to Leo as Annabeth slapped him upside the head. “No, I didn’t. Shut up.” She moved to sit on the arm of the couch next to Reyna, turning away slightly to hide her growing blush.

“Yeah, you did! I remember because you told me not to say anything in front of Percy,” Leo blew a raspberry towards Annabeth. Percy tried as hard as he could to fight the blush creeping over his cheeks.

Nico kicked his legs up on the coffee table in front of him as he popped open his beer. “Let’s focus on what’s really important here. Jackson stole something.”

Resting a hip on the back of the couch and raising his beer, Jason made a toast, “To Jackson and his future criminal record!”

The rest of the group repeated the toast as Percy sat on the available arm of the couch between Nico and Leo. “You know what’s sad? This is the proudest day of my life.”

Nico leaned across the gap between his chair and the couch to pat his back as Percy pretended to break down in tears.

***

“Wow, Marsha! Your nose is so big!” Percy said in a falsetto as they watched television with the sound off.

“Is it really that big?” Annabeth asked with mock concern.

Percy continued, “Don’t worry, though, size doesn’t really matter!”

“Okay, so long as it doesn’t get as big as my boobs,” Annabeth joked.

From the other side of the room Leo stared at them in confusion next to his boyfriend, Will Solace. “Why are we watching without the sound? I’m so confused.”

Solace looked at Annabeth with a look that seemed to ask “Why am I dating this idiot”. No one really understood why the goody-goody, sophomore class president Will Solace was dating the king of idiots. However, everyone knew Leo was only dating Solace because he was one of the hottest guys at school with his golden tan, blond hair, freckles, and blinding smile.

The door to the basement opened up as Hazel came bounding inside followed closely by her trusty sidekick, Frank. Her golden hair stuck up in every direction even with the rain clinging heavily to every strand.

Frank towered over everyone. He was Asian and spoke with a heavy accent as he had only recently come to America through a foreign exchange program. Ever since he’d started high school in Point Place he had followed Hazel everywhere like a lost puppy. Not that she minded the attention.

“So, I hear Sally and Paul got a Camaro! Does that mean the Vista Cruiser’s for sale?” Hazel joked. She bent down to place her hands on the arm of the couch and Frank blushed a deep scarlet as he attempted to move around her.

“Ha ha ha. No.” Percy stuck his tongue out at her. “The Vista Cruiser is all mine, baby.”

“So, you guys are going to the concert then?” Frank asked innocently.

The whole room froze as Will glanced around at them. “Concert? What concert? Leo?”

Leo shot Frank an irate glare before smiling reassuringly at his boyfriend. “It’s just a Todd Rundgren concert, nothing for you to concern yourself with, babe. I didn’t even think you liked music. Besides, it’s just going to be Annabeth, Percy, Nico, Hazel, this foreign giant, Reyna, Jason, me. Pretty much everybody.”

Hazel slapped him hard across the face before turning to face Will. “And that includes you, sweetie. It’s this weekend. If you want to go, you’re more than welcome to come.”

“Thank you,” Will smiled gratefully at her before raising a judgmental eyebrow at his boyfriend. “My dad’s a famous musician, why on earth would you think I didn’t like music?”

“You’re dad’s a musician? I thought he was a real estate agent?” Leo said.

Percy and Annabeth shot out of their seats as the beginnings of an argument started. “I’m going to get a soda. Annabeth?”

“Yes!” she agreed too eagerly before they raced up the stairs to the kitchen.

Hazel backed quickly out the door dragging an oblivious Frank along with her.

Will crossed his arms as Leo spluttered and flailed about. “Do you not want me to go, is that it?”

“I didn’t think you were a Todd Rundgren fan. I mean, he’s no Frampton!”

Will moved to sit in his lap as he replied, “I love Todd Rundgren. Remember the night we listened to ‘Hello, It’s Me’? Besides, we can have fun at the concert; especially, in the car on our way back.”

Leo eagerly agreed for Will to come in between kisses. Neither of them realized when Annabeth and Percy returned to the basement until Percy was right next to them.

“So, Will, looks like you’re going to the concert with us,” he said with a shit-eating grin as Will leaped away from Leo with a small squeak.

Will stumbled toward the door with some awkward and rushed reply before finally coming up with an excuse to leave. “So, Leo, wanna go back to my house and listen to Todd Rundgren records?”

Leo had already dragged Will out the door before Percy could even come up with a sarcastic remark.

“Well, aren’t they so darn cute?” Annabeth asked dramatically. “Turn your back on them for a second and they’re on each other like dogs in heat.”

Percy snorted. “Oh, they’re frisky, alright.”

“You can’t leave them alone for a second.”

“My sister thinks we shouldn’t be left alone,” Percy hinted.

Annabeth snickered. “Us? Percy, relax. We’ve lived next door to each other our whole lives. You could’ve had me when I was four.”

“Are you serious? And here I was all day long on the hippity hop,” Percy grumbled. He banged his head on the table repeatedly as he repeated the word ‘stupid’. Finally, Annabeth pushed his head onto the table to stop the banging. He sat up only to shove her face away. “Stupid.”

She slapped his arm away with a laugh.

***

Percy stared intently before him. Now was not the time to be wimping out, now was the time to confront his feelings and let the world know how he felt.

“I can’t stop thinking about you. I mean, I’ve known you practically my whole life. I want you. I want you so bad.”

Annabeth glanced nervously at Jason who stood beside her watching Percy. She glanced back at the dork in front of her before leaning forward. “Percy, it’s a car.”

With a gentle tug on her shoulder, Jason lead her away. “Let’s just leave these two kids alone.”

The sigh that left her lips was one of confusion and longing. What she wouldn’t give to hear Percy talk to her the way he did that stupid car. She rolled her eyes at her illogical jealousy directed at a random piece of machinery.

“Hey, there, my little Annie-Fannie,” her dad greeted as he strolled up onto the Jackson’s driveway. Annabeth waved while struggling not to strangle the man in front of her. “Heh, you kids. Standing around the driveway. So darn cute!” He pinched Annabeth’s cheeks as she kept her smile painfully plastered across her face. “You don’t realize it, yet, but this is the most fun you’re ever gonna have.”

Percy stroked the hood of his car lovingly as he deadpanned, “Yep, it’s all downhill from here, guys.”

Fred breathed out a mournful, “yeah,” before wandering off again.

“What on God’s green earth is that on your dad’s head?” Jason asked in disgust.

“He got a perm,” Annabeth answered as she dragged her hands down her face hoping to drag away all the embarrassment.

Still stroking his car lovingly, Percy called over his shoulder, “Want to head down to The Big House?”

The Big House was a small diner that had nothing more than a few tables, a pinball machine, and cardboard for food. But the guy who ran it was a weed dealer and let the teenagers that frequented the place do whatever, no questions asked.

Before long, the three found themselves sitting around a table at The Big House watching as Nico played pinball with an amazed Frank looking over his shoulder. Dionysus shouted out some racial slurs as a disgruntled Leo Valdez climbed out from behind the counter where he’d been trying to find Mr. D’s secret stash.

Will sighed in frustration as he wandered over to Percy and his friends.

“Who is that, by the way?” Will asked with a vague gesture towards Frank and Nico.

Jason took a sip from his Coke before answering, “That’s Frank, he’s a foreign exchange student from… Some nameless, foreign - possibly Asian - country. Usually follows Hazel Levesque around to kiss the ground she walks on.”

“Huh,” Will smiled. “Well, good to know. But I was actually talking about Doom and Gloom over there.”

Percy’s eyes flew open in shock as he stared at Will for what was an uncomfortable amount of time in Will’s opinion. “You’ve lived in Point Place your entire life and you don’t know the Nico di Angelo? The town anarchist, wearer of sunglasses at all times of day, burner of elementary schools -”

“Can’t prove that,” Nico shouted from his pinball game.

“Wearer of all things dark and sad, destroyer of all hopes and dreams, the Pinball Slayer, Nico di-fucking-Angelo.” When all Percy got in response was an amused chuckle, he turned away with a grimace. “Leo, this man is not worthy of The Big House, please remove him from our presence.”

Annabeth kicked him under the table at the same time that Jason raised his hand to high-five Percy. “Ignore these two idiots,” Annabeth told Will. “They’re just overly protective of Wisenheimer, over there.”

“You’re just jealous ‘cause I’ve kissed Percy more than you have,” Nico retorted with his eyes still firmly glued to the game in front of him. He still managed a triumphant smirk when she spluttered out nervous denials.

“That was a dare and… and… shut up, okay? It’s not like that bothers me, I mean why should it right? Right?” She looked to Will for support knowing fully well that Jason wasn’t going to be any help. Will gave her a startled shrug that she took as an agreement. “See? Will has my back.”

Leo chuckled as he slid an arm around Will’s waist. “Alright, well, you should be getting home, right?”

With a quick peck on the lips, Will was out the door before Annabeth could ask him anymore questions that he didn’t know the answer to. Annabeth sunk in her seat as she focused on her drink. Nico sat down across from her as Frank pulled up a seat between her and Jason. Seemed even the new kid knew not to get between her and Seaweed Brain.

“How much longer are we going to have to put up with Mr. Sunshine and Rainbows?” Nico grumbled to Leo. “I don’t think I can take much more of this whole ‘Solace’ experience, man.”

Leo waved off the complaint. “Don’t worry, Ghost Boy. I’m breaking up with him.”

Nico snorted.

“Seriously! He’s cutting into my free time,” Nico mumbled.

“Whatever, man. Hey, let’s head on back to your place, Jackson,” Nico suggested with a maniacal grin on his face. “We haven’t been in the circle in a while.”

Annabeth took a quick sip of her drink before standing up to leave. “Count me out, I’ll see y’all later.”

Frank’s smile told them all that he had no idea what they were about to do and none of them felt the need to inform him.

***

“So, has Paul given you the keys, yet?” Nico asked as they sat around the small table in the Jackson’s basement. His sunglasses obscured his bloodshot eyes.

Leo slumped sideways in his chair as smoke billowed around him. “Even if he does, we need serious gas money. That things a boat.”

“I know it is a boat. Man, this whole gas shortage bites,” Percy complained half-heartedly.

Frank munched on some chips he’d found lying under a couch cushion as his eyes lit up. “Boat? Who’s getting a boat?”

Nico shook his head at them and Percy was sure that under those aviators, Nico was rolling his eyes, too. “There’s no gas shortage, idiot. It’s all fake. The oil companies control everything. Like, this one guy built a car that runs on water. Water, man! It’s got a fiberglass, air cooled engine and it runs on water!”

“Where’s the boat?” Frank asked excitedly.

“No, it’s a car. But you put water in the gas tank. It runs on water, man!” Nico started laughing at the idea.

Leo started giggling. “I wanna boat-car! Oh, Will’s loaded, he’s good for gas money!”

“You’re such a whore,” Percy snickered.

“When does the boat get here, whore?” Frank asked as they all doubled over in uncontrollable fits of giggles.

Percy was just gaining control of his laughter when Paul shouted his name down the stairs. He was fairly certain that he should be terrified at the thought of talking to his parents right now but the weed was affecting his judgement. So, instead, he calmly meandered his way upstairs to talk to his parents.

As he sat down at the kitchen table he noticed the wallpaper behind his parents was moving. Had it always done that? Was it like the world - always moving but no one ever noticed until they slowed down to think about it? Whoa, he was too high for this.

“Percy, your mother and I have been talking. Since the school and the uh… the newspaper are so close, I can take the Camaro to work and your mom can take the bus.”

Sally quickly corrected her husband. “Actually, honey, I’d really rather walk. When I ride the bus, someone always falls asleep on me.”

Percy stared at them and just blinked.

“Then I’ll drop you off on my way to the school,” Paul amended.

“I don’t want to be a burden,” Sally said quickly and Percy was distantly reminded of the fact that she was previously dated an abusive man known only as ‘Ugly Gabe’. They'd only gone out for a couple years when Percy was little but it'd had a serious effect on his mother. If he hadn’t been so high he would have been angry at the reminder.

Paul gently stroked her back as he suggested another solution, “Then, Percy can drive you to work, right, Percy?”

“Oh, he’s a teenager, he doesn’t want his old mom riding around with him.”

“Well, if he can’t drop his own mother off for work, then he isn’t responsible enough for a car,” Paul pointed out. Sally gave her son an apologetic smile before agreeing with her husband; she was secretly excited about spending time with her baby.

Percy raised his hand, hoping it wasn’t as awkward as he thought it was. “Excuse me. Am I getting the car?”

The two adults stared at him as they thought of all the things that could possibly go wrong.

Paul started listing off all the issues with giving a reckless teenager the keys to the Cruiser while Sally fretted off to the side. “A car is a privilege. You need insurance. Do you have any idea how much insurance costs? Oil changes, road flares, fluids! That’s your job, now!”

“A car is not a bedroom on wheels,” Sally added helpfully as she wrung her hands nervously. “Calypso’s friend got pregnant in a car. Don’t let that happen!”

“Yield!” Paul was saying. “Always yield! And if I find one beer can in that car, it’s over!”

“And no donuts either.” Paul and Percy stared at her as if she’d lost her mind. “Ants,” she explained somewhat indignantly.

Paul shook his head as he tossed the Vista Cruiser keys to his son.

Before Percy’s brain could catch up to his mouth, he blurted out, “Bitchin’.”

“Percy! Not in front of your mother,” Paul admonished.

***

Reyna and Leo watched as Percy carefully climbed into the driver’s side of the Vista Cruiser. Leo opened the passenger side door as Reyna stepped forward.

“Wow, Leo, that’s actually rather gentlemanly of you,” Reyna admitted.

The latino snorted. “Actually, I’m riding shotgun.”

Reyna tugged on her braid as if to test it before grabbing the boy by the arm and tossing him back where he stumbled into the Jackson’s basketball goal. “How ‘bout we ask Percy who he wants to sit in the front seat?”

Despite her diplomatic voice, Percy was one hundred percent sure that there was no choice involved. “Reyna.”

Just as the two of them were climbing into their seats, Paul strolled out. He leaned up against the driver’s side to talk to Percy. “So, taking her for a spin?”

“Yes, sir,” Percy answered cheerfully.

“Just one more thing. It is extremely important. This car, she’s old, so no trips out of town. Ever. Understood? Just behave and have fun.” He waved them off before heading back through the sliding door to the kitchen.

Percy’s head hit the steering wheel and a frustrated groan escaped his lips. “Well, we can’t go then.”

A solid smack to the back of his head had him sitting up straighter and giving his shotgun rider a wary glance. “Percy, this is your car and you are a sixteen-year-old man. Do you wanna go?”

Leo leaned forward to helpfully add, “Remember Reyna is god, and god clearly wants us to go to a concert in Albany.”

Reyna scrutinized him. “Well, what’s your decision?”

“My decision is…” Percy glanced nervously at the kitchen door before swallowing and turning a confident smile to his passengers, “we’re going to a concert!”

Back in the Jackson’s living room, Sally sat sewing on the couch with Paul in his recliner reading the newspaper when they heard the Cruiser start up. Sally smiled gently at the sound.

“Wonder where they’re off to,” Sally muttered.

Paul sighed, “Out of town.”

She started slightly.

“I told ‘em not to,” Paul said by way of explanation to which Sally just laughed.

***

Six of the gang sat in a car shop on the side of the road somewhere between Albany and Point Place, New York. The Cruiser’s battery had given out about a mile back and the boys had pushed it all the way to a shop run by two girls who Percy suspected were dating. He really hoped he was right just to prove to Nico that he wasn’t completely oblivious.

One of the women - who had introduced herself as Zoe Nightshade - tore out the offending battery as her partner, Thalia Pine, talked to the group. “Alright, kiddos, this is going to cost you a bare minimum of thirty-two bucks.”

The whole group patted their pockets to find them all empty.

“I know,” Will said, “I can just call my dad.”

Percy stared at Will for a long second before turning to Leo. In turn, Leo threw an arm around Will’s shoulders. “Look, hun, we weren’t supposed to take the car out of town.”

“Okay, and? I’m not calling his dad,” Will explained as if that were obvious.

Nico groaned. “Wow, you really are a stereotypical blond, aren’t you? Look, Blondie, parents talk to each other.” A pause. “About how we screw up!”

After a moment of appearing offended, Will finally replied with a doubtful, “Why would they do that?”

“They can’t help themselves,” Percy explained as he threw an arm around the confused blond. “Imagine if you will…” He moved his other arm slowly in front of him as if gesturing to a magnificent rainbow. “There’s a party and all of our parents are there. Together.”

*  
*  
*

Will’s dad Apollo stood around the Jackson family room with a tall glass of champagne in his hand. He greeted Paul with a blinding smile before opening his mouth and Percy’s voice filled the air with his attempt at a deep, manly voice. “Hiya, Paul! Hey, isn’t it just swell how our kids are such good friends?”

Paul smiled too widely for it to be anything but fake.

Over to their left, Fred lifted his glass of champagne with an equally large smile. Percy’s voice spoke for him in a slight Canadian accent. “Yes, Apollo! They are quite a gang of youngsters! Ha ha ha!”

Marybai and Sally came strolling into the living room from the kitchen with enormous smiles on their faces. Percy took on a falsetto voice as Marybai opened her mouth to say, “Sally, I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!”

Sally laughed dramatically before Percy spoke for her in a slightly nasally falsetto voice. “Yes, aqua and yellow! Blahblahblahyakyakyak!”

Returning to his deep voice over, imaginary Apollo asked, “Speaking of kids, wasn’t it lucky Triple A pulled Percy’s butt out of the fire when he took the car to Albany without your permission?”

Paul put his hands on his hips with a mock exasperated look on his face as Percy answered for him in his normal voice, “Why, that twisted little sea-monkey. I’m grounding him for ten years! Ha! We all should ground our kids for ten years!”

They all laughed exaggeratedly before Apollo added, “We should torture them with plenty of pointless rules and advice, too! Ha ha ha!”

“Hey, everybody,” Marybai exclaimed in Percy’s falsetto voice, “let’s hustle!”

The imaginary parents began dancing as Percy ended his fictional story.

*  
*  
*

Thalia watched quietly as the raven haired boy with the sea-green eyes finished his mad ravings before she finally spoke up. “So, where y’all heading?”

“Rundgren concert,” Jason answered calmly.

Zoe returned from the inside of the garage, wiping her hands with a greasy rag. “Cool. So, you need a battery, huh? I can get you a battery.”

Annabeth perked up from where she’d been slumped against the Cruiser. “For cheap? Maybe, even free?”

“How ‘bout one battery for two concert tickets?” Zoe suggested.

“Or, and hear me out,” Leo countered, “we give you our battery and some loose change for a new battery?”

Zoe and Thalia completely ignored him as they looked to Percy for his answer.

“Sure, you can have Leo and Will’s tickets,” Nico answered before Percy could do the noble thing and ruin everyone’s chances of going to the concert. “I mean, right, Will? It would be the right thing ‘cause if you don’t give up your tickets then no one gets to go.”

Will stuck his tongue out at the Italian boy before turning to Leo, expecting him to defend them. Instead, he found Leo begging Percy not to leave him alone with Will. “Leo Valdez!” Will shouted.

Leo instantly quieted down but still threw puppy dog eyes up to Percy.

“Well, it would mean that we get to go,” Jason said quietly. “And Frank and Hazel are probably really worried about us right now.”

“Alright, it’s a deal!” Nico exclaimed.

Reyna gave Leo an apologetic pat on the back as she climbed into the Vista Cruiser. Annabeth and Percy gave quick apologies before also piling into the car. Thalia took their two tickets before heading to her own car.

Once at the concert, Leo and Will were left alone in the car while the music played in the distance. Will sat up abruptly causing Leo to look up from his pouting.

“This isn’t working,” Will said matter-of-factly. “We should break up.”

Leo shot up as he reached for Will. “No, no! What? Now?”

“You’re not having a good time.”

“I’m having a great time!” Leo insisted earnestly. “Look, I know I come across as an idiot sometimes and I say things I don’t mean and I’m so sorry. Please, don’t leave. I am having a great time right now.”

Will relaxed minutely as a smile played at the edges of his lips. “Alright, thanks, babe.”

Leo pulled his boyfriend closer to him as they listened to the distant thumping of music.

***

Annabeth and Percy stood in front of the Cruiser having dropped everyone off after the concert. It had ended up being a ton of fun, even though they still felt guilty for leaving Leo and Will out. Well, they had felt bad until they came back to the Vista Cruiser after the concert and found them making out like the hormonal teenagers they were. On the bright side they had made new friends with the lesbian mechanics who made them promise that if they ever needed a mechanic they would call Artemis Automotive.

“This was a great night. Who knew that one act of civil disobedience could change your world. There’s a whole world that’s waiting to be explored! We could go to … Canada! What’s stopping us?” Percy said enthusiastically.

Annabeth looked at the sky, searching for an answer before retorting, “Pretty sure Canada closes at nine thirty.”

They chuckled.

Just as Annabeth was preparing to say goodnight, she got an idea. “Thanks for the ride,” she said as she leaned in for a quick peck on his lips.

“Whoa,” Percy breathed. “What was that for and how do I get you to do it again?”

“I just wanted Nico to stop rubbing it in my face that he’s kissed you and I haven’t,” she giggled as she walked off. “Goodnight, Seaweed Brain.”

Percy shouted after her, “Yeah, like I’m going to sleep after that, Wise Girl!”


	2. Percy's Birthday

The basement was full of teenagers watching Petticoat Junction on the TV. Jason and Percy were practically in each other's laps as they made room for Leo on the small couch. Annabeth was leaning against Percy's feet and Will was standing behind them playing with Leo's hair. Hazel sat to Percy's left in a lawn chair with Frank sitting in the floor next to her and Nico sat in the chair to Leo's right.

Nico and Hazel never sat next to each other; no one knew why, it was just a fact of life. Percy just assumed it was because they were polar opposites in everything from personality to looks. With her dark skin and awkwardness, Hazel was one of the sweetest people in their group even if she was technologically challenged. Whereas Nico was the snarkiest and palest member of their gang who only smiled at other people's misfortune. They even dressed differently. Nico wore a black T-shirt with ripped up blue jeans while Hazel wore a sparkly, gold blouse with bell-bottoms.

"Does it bother anyone that these women live in Hooterville?" Jason asked. His broad shoulders were barely contained by the sky blue T-shirt he wore and Percy was certain that the shirt was going to rip under the strain at any moment.

Annabeth tilted her head to the side causing her blonde curls to fall across Percy's knees as she corrected Jason, "Technically, Petticoat Junction is just down the track from Hooterville."

"Okay," Jason nudged her in the side with his foot, "does it bother anyone that they live just down the track from Hooterville?"

Will spoke up as he straightened his designer shirt, "It bothers me that they bathe in the town water tank. It's extremely unsanitary."

The way Frank scrunched up his nose told everyone that he agreed. "Especially since they bathe with the dog."

Nico shrugged. "It's not the drinking water, just the water for the train."

Hazel shook her head. "Will's right, though. It's three naked women with a dog."

Leo threw a toothy grin towards Hazel. "I wouldn't mind being the Hooterville dog."

Instead of answering, Hazel leaned over to whisper in Percy's ear who, in turn, whispered in Jason's ear. Jason nodded in understanding before punching Leo's shoulder causing the boy to wince. Will tugged a little harder on Leo's hair until he whimpered.

"Yoo hoo," Sally called out as she descended the stairs with a basket of laundry. "Don't mind me, I'm just putting some clothes in. Oh, Percy, sweetie, I thought you'd look nice if you wore this for your birthday." She held up a blue plaid shirt. "The color really makes your eyes pop."

Percy stared warily at his mother, fearful that she might pull out a confetti cannon and pinata at a moment's notice. "Mom. Mom, do not throw a party for me."

"Listen to Mr. Popularity, like I have time to plan you a party," Mrs. Jackson chuckled but refused to look her son in the eyes. She turned around for a second to blurt out, "Also, your sister's coming home from college. No reason, she just is."

With that she bounded up the stairs with a nervous laugh.

Annabeth leaned her head back into Percy's lap so he could see her smirking at him. "Well, Seaweed Brain, you're getting a party, and best of all it's a surprise!"

"I just realized Annabeth's older than you," Jason remarked absently.

"Only by a month," she said as she sat up straight again.

Frank nodded seriously. "Good for you, Percy. In my country, it is good luck to fall in love with an older woman."

Percy blushed so hard that he almost blended in with his red plaid shirt. "Frank… Frank!?"

"No, seriously, they come with livestock," Frank explained calmly.

Hazel barked out a laugh before attempting to hide behind her mass of coarse golden hair.

***

The next morning, Percy headed into the kitchen for breakfast. Paul was seated at the breakfast table reading the newspaper as Sally danced towards the table with a plate of blue pancakes in hand.

"Morning," Percy greeted sleepily.

Paul returned the greeting without looking up from his paper. Percy started to open the fridge to grab some milk when his mother slammed the door closed again. After forcefully wedging herself between him and the fridge, she smiled eagerly.

"No, no, I'll get it." She proceeded to open the fridge just enough to get the milk out before shutting it again.

Before she closed it, though, Percy caught a glimpse of a blue cake. He resisted the urge to groan as he reached up to open the cabinet for some cereal. His mom proceeded to shove him out of the way to grab the cereal herself in an attempt to block his view of the contents in the cabinet.

"Did I just see about seven bags of potato chips?" Percy asked with a pointed look to his mother.

Sally laughed nervously as she fiddled with her hair. "They were on sale, honey."

Percy poured the milk into his bowl of cereal with a slight pout. "Please don't throw me a party."

"I'm not," Sally said earnestly.

Paul glanced at them for a moment. "Don't give him one, Sally."

"I'm not," she said too quickly.

Percy sat down in his usual seat trying to give his mother the benefit of the doubt. "Look, I know money's tight, so I don't want a big birthday."

Paul folded his newspaper up before looking Percy in the eyes with that look that was supposed to be reassuring. "We'll decide when money's tight, son. Now, what kind of gift do you want? Don't worry about the cost, as long as it's reasonable."

"A cassette player for the car. Not an eight-track. Cassette player, no eight-track, okay?" Percy answered. He'd been wanting one ever since Paul had given him the keys to the Vista Cruiser. "Not an eight-track player."

His parents shared an amused look as Paul assured him, "Then you won't get one. You'll get a Delco. A genuine GM part for your genuine GM car."

Percy waved his spoon as he spoke. "No, dad, it doesn't have to be a Delco, it's just for music."

Paul returned to his newspaper with a huff. "See? Now, that's your first mistake. Parts have to be compatible." He paused to fix Percy with a narrow-eyed glare. "You're not burning cheap gas in that car, are you?"

"No, sir. Well, on that note, I'm heading out."

Percy put away his dishes before heading for the door. He was halfway out the sliding door when his mom stopped him with an unexpected gasp. He leaned back into the kitchen with an eyebrow raised.

"I want you to run to the store for me. Get a large can of blue frosting and fifteen small bags of M&M's - plain, not peanut," Sally informed him. When he stared at her in response, Sally quickly explained, "They're for your sister."

Percy looked to Paul who gave him an unhelpful shrug before he slid the door shut.

"Whoo," Sally sighed. "That was close."

Paul chuckled as he turned the page. "Yes, dear, you are truly a master in espionage."

***

Leaning against the Vista Cruiser, Will and Annabeth watched Leo and Jason shoot hoops while Nico picked on Frank. Percy stepped onto the driveway with a defeated sigh before telling Leo to pass the ball.

Annabeth watched as Percy and Jason quickly formed an impressive team against Leo. The latino retaliated by dragging Frank and Nico into their makeshift game of basketball.

Will leaned towards her, his blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. "So?"

"What?" Annabeth asked in confusion. What had led the peppy sophomore into talking to her?

"What are you getting Percy for his birthday?" Will whispered as he watched the guys.

A ball went flying past her towards to sliding door followed quickly by a frantic Percy. "I don't know. Nothing feels right. I have to give him something special, you know?"

The way Will stared at her after she spoke left her wishing she hadn't said anything. Finally, that look of intense concentration morphed into disbelief. Those blue eyes widened to an almost comical size as he gasped excitedly.

"He kissed you!" Will whispered loudly. "That's so cute!"

She punched his arm but it didn't stop the stupid smile from spreading across his face. Instead of beating the smile off him, Annabeth nudged the cheerful idiot into the Cruiser so they could speak more privately.

"So?" Will asked again. When only silence answered him, he sighed dramatically, "Come on, Annabeth, who else are you going to talk about this with?"

They glanced around at the guys who were currently laughed hysterically at Leo who was making fart sounds with his armpit. Annabeth still couldn't understand why they found fart noises so funny.

"Fair point. Okay, we got home from the Rundgren concert, and I'm sitting on the hood of the car, and I kissed him." She's fairly sure she's blushing. Will giggled like a child after a few seconds of silence. "Oh, why am I talking to you about this?"

A squeal from the end of the driveway forced them to look up. Nico and Leo were somehow managing to give the tall Frank a wedgie despite his attempts to bat them away.

Annabeth cursed the guys with every word she could think of for being so immature. Was it really that hard for them to just not give people wedgies? How was it that Will Solace was the only person she could really talk to about this? Sure, there was Hazel but that girl couldn't say the word kiss without giggling and blushing.

With a groan, Annabeth continued, "Look, I've lived next door to Percy my whole life. We tell each other everything, we love the same music, we love the Yankees, and then I kissed him. Now everything's different. I don't know if he's my boyfriend or my best friend. And what if we are dating and we break up? Or what if…"

Will placed a reassuring hand on her arm. "Annabeth, buy him a scented candle. It's practical and romantic."

Annabeth smiled as she mouthed, "Oh, yeah…"

***

When Nico, Frank, and Leo walked into the Jackson's basement they found Percy's older sister doing laundry. Her auburn hair was pulled back in a complicated looking braid and all she wore was an oversized shirt that barely hid anything.

"But, I had the ball last, I win," Frank was saying as they stepped inside.

Leo shook his head emphatically. "No, you didn't win."

Frank argued, "Yes, I had the ball last, I…" His words trailed off as Calypso bent over to grab something off the floor. Leo froze beside him, as well. "Holy mother…"

Leo stepped in front of his blushing, foreign friend. With what he considered a sexy smolder, he greeted Percy's sister, "Hello, Calypso."

"Oh, hey, Leo," Calypso said absently before looking disgusted at Nico. "Di Angelo."

Nico stared at her with blatant dislike.

"Who is the goddess?" Frank asked in awe.

Leo managed to somehow sound more love struck than Frank as he answered, "The goddess is Percy's sister."

Nico scoffed. "She's not a goddess. She's more of the earth mother whore type."

Percy's feet pounded on the stairs. Calypso rolled her eyes as her brother stopped short on the last step.

"Calypso," Percy said as if handling a venomous snake.

"Perseus," she said angrily.

Percy stepped onto the basement floor. "Shouldn't you put some clothes on?"

"Why?"

"Aren't you cold?"

Calypso winked at Leo. "No, in fact, I'm hot."

Percy resisted the urge to strangle his sister. "Oh, well," he struggled for a retort, eventually settling for, "Why don't you go upstairs?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Percy saw Nico roll his eyes.

"I'm waiting on my jeans to come out of the dryer and I want you to stay off my case. It'll only take a minute." Calypso whined annoyingly.

Leo was still staring openly at Calypso as if in a trance. Knowing Calypso, he was. Percy had always believed his sister was actually a witch here to tempt mortal men and curse his every moment in life.

"I don't think Leo will last that long," Nico deadpanned as he sat back in his usual chair to watch TV.

The rest of them watched Leo with amusement. Calypso eventually shrugged nonchalantly. "Too bad. Besides, it's not like I'm naked under this. I'm wearing underwear." She pulled her shirt up briefly to show them. Leo leaned against the couch for support as Frank let out an enraptured gasp. "If we were at the beach, you wouldn't even notice me."

Nico snorted. "If we were at the beach, Leo would be in the water right now."

Leo was too awestruck to notice Nico's jab at him.

"Alright, look, Kelp Head. I need the wagon tomorrow night," Calypso said, butchering Annabeth's adorable nickname for him.

Percy bit back the snarky remark he had planned. Instead he decided to put his sister to use. "On one condition. I need a favor."

Calypso raised an eyebrow. "For you? I don't think so."

"Come on, just tell mom I'm too old for surprise parties," Percy complained.

"But you're the baby," Calypso patronized. "And momma loves her baby."

Percy groaned.

Finally, Calypso agreed with a snicker. The dryer shut off and she grabbed her jeans. As she walked by, she pinched Percy's cheek. "Baby."

As soon as the basement door clicked shut behind her, Leo let out a loud whoop. "Yeah!" He pelvic thrusted the air. "Your sister wants me! I mean you saw her coming onto me right?"

Frank opened his mouth to argue but Nico waved him off. "Let him go."

Leo looked off to the side thinking of what he remembered Calypso saying a few seconds ago.

**"Hello, Leo. I'm waiting - and I want you - baby - take me. Now. I need it - bad. I need it - all night. Momma loves her baby. I'm completely naked under this. I'm hot for you, Leo."**

The guys stared at Leo with a mixture of confusion and pity. Leo's goofy smile transformed as he came out of his trance. He noticed his friends' stares. "What? You didn't see it? She's totally Team Leo."

***

The Jacksons were sitting down to dinner with Calypso sitting between her parents. Percy was hoping his sister would reveal she was running off with some married man to Canada and they'd never see her again. But, of course, she'd cursed him with bad luck so he had to sit through the entire dinner with her.

"So," his mother started nervously. "How's Ogygia University?"

"Eh," Calypso answered.

Percy felt even more uncomfortable watching his mother interact with her stepdaughter. He tapped a finger on the table as he recalled how Paul had been married to some woman before Sally. No one spoke about Paul's first wife, but from what Percy had gathered, she died in a tragic accident.

A nervous laugh caused Percy to look over to his mother and he found himself idly wondering about his biological father. From the little he could get out of his mom, he knew his dad was a sailor and lost at sea - "not dead, just lost". He'd never understood how she could still hold so much love for a man that had abandoned them.

"How's your friend Circe?" Paul was asking when Percy finally tuned back in.

"Pregnant," Calypso answered between bites.

Sally looked at her in shock. "She was such a nice girl, how could that happen?"

Percy decided this was where he should pipe up, "Well, first the egg travels down the Fallopian tube to the uterus, where it attaches to the wall - "

Paul stabbed his chicken viciously with his fork. "Percy, for goodness sake, that's no language for a woman to hear."

Calypso waved him off with fork. "Oh, Daddy, I know what a Fallopian tube is. I think Mom does, too."

Percy hoped she choked for the way she said 'mom' as if it were an insult.

"Oh, yeah," Calypso said as she stabbed her fork into a piece of broccoli. "Percy wanted me to tell you that he thinks he's too old for a party." She held her hand out to Percy. "Keys?"

Sally sat up even straighter as she smiled nervously. "There's no party!"

"Calypso, I just remembered. I can't loan you the Vista Cruiser on account of I hate you," Percy said with a strained smile.

Paul looked worriedly at his daughter. "Callie, you're not driving the Vista Cruiser. It's old and undependable. It could break down! My baby would be at the mercy of any maniac who came along. Percy can handle that but you're taking the Camaro." He handed her the keys and pulled out thirty dollars for her.

"Wow," Calypso smiled excitedly. "Thanks, Daddy!"

"You know, I could probably use some gas money," Percy hinted.

Paul went back to eating. "Maybe next payday, Perce."

Percy and his mother shared an exasperated glance before returning to their food.

***

The doorbell was ringing, even though Percy was sure his alarm clock had said three a.m. and no one in their right mind would be up at this hour. Still, he went to answer the door. As he opened it, he saw Annabeth standing there in a lacy blue nightgown.

It took him a few seconds to focus on her face but he managed. "Annabeth? It's three in the morning, are you crazy?"

"Crazy in love with you," Annabeth said seductively. "What is it about you that drives me wild with passion and desire?"

Percy stuttered out what might have been an answer.

"Sit," Annabeth ordered. Percy stumbled back to the couch where he sat down. Annabeth came in and closed the door behind her. "I have your birthday present. It can't wait any longer. Close your eyes."

Something soft and lacy dropped into his lap. He felt the fabric and was fairly certain it was the same fabric as Annabeth's nightgown. "This is my birthday present?" Percy asked with his eyes still closed.

"No, that's my nightgown. I'm your present!" Annabeth said with a voice full of lust. "Open your eyes, birthday boy!"

Percy's eyes shot open to find a plate with two blue fried eggs on it. A chorus of 'Surprise!' welcomed him back to reality. He bunched his covers up around him in an attempt to hide his boner from the three people in his room.

Calypso was giving him a knowing grin from where she leaned against his bedroom door.

"Birthday breakfast!" Sally laughed giddily. "This is it, young man, a few gifts tonight, the end. And it's too late to change your mind about a party now, so don't go thinking you're getting one, or you'll be sorely disappointed."

She smiled over her shoulder at Paul thinking she'd fooled Percy before rushing out. Paul lingered in the doorway.

"Happy birthday," he said. Then, without knowing what else to say, he added, "Don't forget to mow the lawn."

Percy sighed in annoyance. "Thanks, Mom, Dad."

Calypso snickered. "Nice tent, little brother."

He threw a pillow which she dodged as she skipped out the door.

***

The Jackson's' basement was crowded with teenagers who sat silently concentrating on something that only they were able to see. Percy stared at them, knowing fully well what was going on. They were all dressed nicely, even Nico had his non-ripped jeans on.

"I know what you're all doing here," Percy sighed.

Leo sat completely still for the first time in his life as he answered nervously, "What are you talking about, man? We're just hanging out, except we're dressed nice. But that doesn't mean anything."

They just continued to stare off at space in silence until Sally poked her head downstairs.

"Hey, kids," Sally tried to sound casual but Percy knew better. "I, um, need your help with something. Will, Annabeth, Leo, Nico, Hazel, Jason, and…" she paused for a moment, "young man with the accent, could you give me a hand? Not you, Percy."

The seven of them tripped over each other trying to get up the stairs. Once they got through the door, heavy footsteps fell on the wooden floor causing it to sound suspiciously like a herd of buffalo running through the living room.

Percy ran a hand down his face. "I can't take it."

He rushed to the basement door leading outside but Reyna was standing guard. Percy jumped back in surprise as she smiled expectantly at him. She was clearly excited about her job assignment in his mother's crazy, surprise birthday scheme.

"No, Dumbass," Reyna said.

"But, I…" Percy started to whine.

Reyna held up a hand to stop him. "Noooo, no, sir."

Before he could start pleading with his guard, Sally came down the stairs again looking incredibly excited. "Percy? Percy, honey? Honey, could you come up here for a second?" She went back upstairs and Percy could hear her loudly whisper, "Shush, he's coming!"

With a sigh of defeat and one last pleading look at Reyna, Percy followed his mother.

As soon as he stepped into the living room he was met with a chorus of 'Surprise!'. He plastered a smile to his face for his mom's sake but his eyes were pleading with everyone to kill him. His humiliation only got worse as his mother placed a colorful party hat on him.

After eating cake with blue frosting, Sally and Paul sat down with Percy between them while he began opening gifts. Every gift was wrapped in some kind of blue wrapping except one which Percy assumed to be Frank's given how nervous he suddenly seemed.

His mom handed him his first gift to unwrap and Percy wished against all the curses Calypso had placed on him that he would get a cassette player. As his hand tore at the wrapping paper, though, he knew fully well that his sister's hexes were still firmly in place.

"Wow," Percy tried to sound upbeat. "I mean, yeah…"

Sally giggled. "It's an eight-track player!"

Percy nodded with that fake smile that he was fairly sure would be stuck permanently to his face after tonight.

Paul patted his shoulder good-naturedly. "Just what you asked for."

"You made such a big deal about it, I wrote it down," Sally told him. "Here, open these from Nico next."

Nico and Percy shared a look. They'd already talked about getting cassettes to go with the cassette player that he'd thought he was getting. The eight-track made Di Angelo's gift practically useless now. Still, as he unwrapped the cassette tapes he was touched that the anarchist would even buy him anything for his birthday.

"Thanks, Neeks," Percy muttered, hoping no one noticed the disappointment in his voice.

Nico held up the eight-track player with a smirk. "You're welcome."

Marybai and Frederick Chase handed him a small present with a bow on top. Percy lifted the lid and was pleasantly surprised to find a shave dispenser that he showed to everyone only to have his mother confiscate it from him.

"Oh, he won't need that for a long time. A long, long time," Sally said earnestly. Percy wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, their guests or herself.

Marybai laughed. "Of course he will, he's almost a man."

Percy quickly wrapped his arms around his mother as she started to cry softly.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Annabeth dragging Will into their kitchen and wondered idly what his Wise Girl needed the sophomore for.

A few minutes later, Paul was pulling Sally away from the teenagers. He insisted that the grown-ups go over to Fred's to give the kids some time alone.

"But," Sally whimpered, "I wanted to give Percy a party."

"And you did," Paul said quickly, afraid she might start crying again. "Come on, he wants to be alone for a little while. We'll be back over here before you know it."

Finally, the adults started heading out.

Sally lingered. "What if they run out of ketchup or something?"

"Let's go," Paul answered as he gently tugged on her arm.

"We have more buns and sweet pickles if you don't like the dills," Sally was saying as Paul managed to pull her out the door.

As soon as the adults left, Calypso stood and dusted off her jeans. "Well, I'd love to stay, but I'm leaving."

"Hey, buy us some beers, we'll pay double," Percy tried.

Calypso scoffed. "No. Now I'm off to join my legal friends at a party, with a keg. Bye."

Leo ran around the couch, almost knocking over the lamp before coming to a stop a few feet from Calypso who was already standing in the open doorway.

"So, Calypso. Where's the party? You know, maybe, I'll cruise by later."

"In your dreams, idiot," Calypso replied with a toss of her hair.

She slammed the door on her way out and Percy was amused to see Will leaning over to smack his boyfriend.

***

In the Chase's kitchen, the adults were playing Yahtzee. Sally chewed on her nails as Fred rolled the dice.

"Three fours, I need them," Fred said more to himself.

Marybai patted her husband's arm. "Fred's very good at Yahtzee."

Sally looked to Paul. "The liquor cabinet!"

"Locked."

"What if there's an emergency?"

"They'll call."

"What if they run out of chips?"

"They'll starve."

Fred stood up and headed towards his own liquor cabinet. "I'm getting myself some scotch. Paul?"

Paul shook his head as he stroked Sally's hand reassuringly. "No, Sally needs some."

His wife batted his hand away as she stood to take a peek out the window. Their Camaro was pulling out of the drive and heading down the street.

"Oh my, Calypso's leaving!" Sally cried.

"She's in college, honey, she doesn't want to hang around them," Paul explained simply.

Sally made her way towards the phone with every intent of calling before Paul grabbed her arm and guided her back to her seat. He tried to reassure her.

"Sally, what could happen?" Paul asked.

"What could happen?" Sally exclaimed. "Plenty could happen. I mean, like…"

Sally imagined Percy's party in their living room where Jason and Reyna were dressed like gangsters; Will, Annabeth, and Hazel were dressed like prostitutes; and the rest of the guys were dressed as pimps. Percy was still wearing his blue plaid shirt but he'd been tied to a chair.

**Annabeth opened her mouth and Sally's voice came out. "Now that the adults are gone, we can be as bad as we want."

"Who wants to give Percy a venereal disease?" Hazel said with Sally's voice.

Leo leapt over their couch. Sally spoke in a Jersey accent for him. "Hey, look, coasters!" He picked a handful of them off the table before Nico slapped them out of his hand.

"Forget coasters, man," Nico said as he placed a glass directly on the table. "Without a coaster, our drinks will leave rings on the table!"

Sally attempted an evil laugh for Nico.

Her little Percy cried out in an innocent voice, "No! Why, oh, why didn't I beg my mother to stay!?"

Frank, who had his feet propped up on the table, was now on the phone. In her best accented voice, Sally spoke for him, "Quiet, silly American! I am making a long distance call on your parents' phone!"

"But that's immoral!" Percy sobbed.

Jason barked out a laugh as he pulled Hazel into his lap. "In his country of…" There was a long pause as everyone looked confused. "Wherever it is he's from, I can never tell. Morals get in the way of a good, dirty time. But first, we need to eat some chips."

Will grabbed a bag of chips only to find them empty. He looked overly shocked as he handed the empty bag to Frank.

"What? Out of chips? Now, I am mad." Reyna pulled out a gun. "I must shoot something. Like this dumbass."

She pointed the gun toward Percy.**

As she came out of her fantasy world, she found Paul staring down at her as if she'd lost her mind. "You're overreacting," was all he said.

Marybai was handing her a book before she could press the issue. "Oh, Sally, when Fred went on sabbatical last year, I felt the same way. But this book of poems helped me. It's called, 'Verses from an Empty Nest'."

"Read her that one you showed me about the little bird that lost it's way," Fred suggested.

His wife opened the book and started to read. "The little bird that once did sing/is now alone with broken wing."

Fred started getting choked up on just the first couple lines. Sally and Paul shared a look.

"Yeah, that's nice," Sally hedged. "I need a refill."

"Hun, you usually only drink one," Paul said.

She handed her glass to Fred who took it to get a refill. "Well, tonight I'm having two."

***

Hazel, Reyna, and the guys were lounging about in the Jackson's' living room after the parents and Calypso had left. Hazel was sitting on the chair while Frank sat on the arm of her chair with Leo sprawled out at her feet. Jason laid across the couch with his feet in Percy's lap. Reyna leaned against the back of the couch by Jason's head. Nico was sitting in Paul's recliner glaring at Hazel who tried to ignore him. Will and Annabeth had disappeared into the kitchen a long while ago.

"So," Hazel started, "what did Annabeth get you?"

Percy attempted a nonchalant shrug. "Nothing, yet."

Leo shot up into a sitting position. "Oh! Maybe it's the big gift. You know, the really big gift?" When everyone just stared blankly at him, he pushed. "You guys get what I'm saying when I say the big gift, right?"

"Yeah, we get it. And we got it, idiot," Nico griped.

Hazel tried to fight the blush that was burning her cheeks and she resisted the urge to look at the foreigner sitting next to her.

Jason chuckled quietly. "Frank's not even from here and he got it."

Frank shot up from his seat to hide his blazing red face from Hazel.

Before the group could start laughing at their friend's discomfort, the kitchen door swung open. Will entered with an eager grin.

"Percy, Annabeth's on the porch," Will said purposely.

Everyone turned to stare Percy who took only a second before scrambling towards the kitchen door.

Leo let out a loud whoop. "He's getting the big gift!"

***

The patio was dark as Percy unwrapped his gift. Annabeth was standing awkwardly against the wall. As the paper fell away, Percy found himself holding a sea breeze scented candle.

"Oh, cool," Percy grinned. "This is very cool."

"It's stupid," Annabeth insisted.

Percy's head shot up to look at her, trying to find a way for her to know he meant it. He really did love her gift to him. It was sweet and personal. Only she would remember his avid love of the sea.

"No," he said urgently. "This is a very awesome gift. I'd light it if I had matches.

Annabeth pulled out the matches Will had given her earlier. "Here."

She lit the candle for him and he placed it on the patio table with a soft smile. The light created a romantic lighting just as Will had told her it would.

"You thought of everything," Percy said with that lopsided grin she loved so much.

They stood in awkward silence as Percy slowly slid his hand over Annabeth's on the banister. Annabeth's eyes were hooded as they leaned in. Their breath ghosted over the other's lips just as a loud crash echoed across the road.

Paul was hauling a very drunk Sally across the road to their house as Sally sung some old sailor shanty she'd learned years before Percy was born. She kept on singing until she got up close enough to hug her son.

"Oh, look at this!" she warbled. "We never thought to put a candle out here. It's just so romantic."

Paul guided her through the door with a quick goodnight to the two kids on the patio.

From inside, Percy heard his mom. "We have candles in the bedroom, don't we?"

Percy groaned as Annabeth chuckled.

"Happy birthday," she laughed.

***

Behind the kitchen counter the rest of the gang was camped out watching Percy and Annabeth with rapt attention.

"This is it," Will insisted. "He's going for it."

Leo shook his head. "Uh-uh. It's his birthday, she should make the first move."

"She did last time," Will argued.

A cacophony of 'what' sounded off in the room as everyone turned to stare incredulously at Will for a second before returning their attention to the main event.

Will's eyes widened as he realized what he'd said. "Nothing. Shut up. Watch."

"Come on, Jackson, go for it!" Jason said in exasperation.

Percy turned to look at them. He could see seven heads popped up around the kitchen counter watching him. The only thing about the whole scene that surprised him was the fact that Reyna was right there with them.

"The door is open, we can hear you," Percy explained. "We can see you!"

They all ducked behind the counter as if that would make a difference.

Frank leaned over to Nico to ask if Percy had kissed Annabeth.

"None of us can see them, Frank," Nico grumbled.

"Percy, are you kissing her?" Frank called out.

All they got as an answer was the sound of the door closing. When they peeked over the counter they found Percy had blown out the candle so that they couldn't see them.


	3. Streaker

Nico and Jason were standing in two separate doorways in the Jackson's basement, pressing their arms against the doorframe as hard as they could. Leo was timing them while Hazel and Frank watched from the couch. Will was reading a science textbook on top of the dryer.

"Push! You gotta push or it won't work!" Leo was saying.

Jason asked, "How much longer?"

"Ten seconds," Leo answered cheerfully.

"This is so stupid," Nico griped even as he continued to do as Leo asked.

Leo waved him off. "It's not stupid, you're gonna love it. Okay, it's time. Step away from the door."

Nico and Jason stepped out of their respective doorways and their arms lifted up into the air. Their eyes widened in amazement.

"Ooooh," they said in unison.

Leo shrugged as his smile spread into a shit-eating grin. "Yeah, well, it's magic."

As the three of them went to sit back down, Percy came bounding downstairs with a dark, tanned girl following close behind.

Jason turned to ask Percy for something but when he saw the newcomer, his jaw dropped. He let out an intelligent mumbling of random syllables that sounded like another language entirely. The girl giggled at him which only caused him to smile like a giant dork.

"Hey, guys," Percy greeted as he tossed everyone a diet cream soda can. "This is my cousin Piper McLean, she just moved in down the road."

He proceeded to introduce the gang to her when Will let out a squeal that made everyone jump. "Oh my god! You're Tristan McLean's daughter! Is it true he's retiring?"

"He's not retiring, just taking a break," Piper said too quickly for it to be true.

Leo tossed his soda from hand to hand. "You know, Jackson, I've noticed the pop-selection has really gone downhill since your mom got laid off."

Percy bristled. "She's just part-time. Shut up!"

Sally came bouncing down the stairs as if summoned by the mentioning of her name. "Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids," she chanted giddily. "The president is coming!"

Jason sank down in his seat as Percy patted his shoulder reassuringly. Jason's father was the mayor of Point Place and was probably dragging his son to every boring meeting and get-together involved with the president's arrival.

"The President of these United States: Gerald R. Ford. The 35th… 9th… 40th… Oh, I don't know, he's the president!" Sally giggled.

Hazel played with a golden curl of hair. "Why in the world would President Ford come to Point Place?"

Will shifted awkwardly on the dryer as he answered, "We're a whistle stop along his New York-campaign trail. My dad's a 'famous' celebrity who's endorsing him."

"Mine, too," Piper gasped excitedly. "So, Apollo Solace is really your dad? That's amazing! You know, in the You-Understand-My-Suffering kind of way."

Jason groaned as he all but melted into the couch. "Can we stop talking about this? Being the son of the mayor was bad enough before the president came to town."

Piper winced. "Oh, you poor thing. I am so sorry."

"Look, you three. The next time you know a president is coming to town, please give me a little more notice," Sally complained as she was marching back upstairs. "I need to vacuum. Percy, you tidy up this basement. Oh, a pie! Gotta bake a pie!"

Even as she closed the basement door, the group could hear Sally Jackson talking to herself.

"The president, huh?" Percy said after a moment.

Leo leaned over the couch with a sly grin. "You know what we should do?" He asked conspiratorially. As everyone leaned in, he shouted, "That door thing again!"

Frank and Jason leaped up eagerly, ready to try the cool "magic" trick again.

(***)

Paul, Sally, and Percy were sitting at the dinner table as Reyna perched on the kitchen counter reading a Cosmopolitan magazine. Despite Sally's constant offerings, Reyna refused to eat with them (something about staying in shape for lacrosse). She was only staying so she could hide from her annoying little brother Octavian who was always killing stuffed animals. If Percy didn't know any better, he'd have sworn Octavian was going to grow up to be a serial killer.

"So, how's the car?" Paul asked.

Percy shrugged. "It's great."

Paul raised an eyebrow at his son. "By 'great', I hope you mean you've rotated those tires like I asked you to?"

"Dad, don't they rotate every time I drive?" Percy deadpanned.

Paul rolled his eyes as Reyna snorted.

"Tuna casserole? Again?" Paul asked, changing the topic.

Sally sat up straight and smiled sweetly. "Well, how about we don't pay the car insurance and we'll all have steak." When her husband dug into his tuna casserole with renewed gusto, she relaxed again. "Just imagine, President Ford coming here. Ah, Paul, we need to get rid of the oil stains in the driveway!"  
"Sally, it's not like he's coming to our house. And I wouldn't want him to anyways," Paul grumbled.

"Oh, hush!" Sally gasped. "How can you say that? You voted for Gerald Ford."

Reyna quietly flipped a page of her magazine. "No one voted for Ford."

Paul waved his fork excitedly in Reyna's direction, happy to have someone agreeing with him.

"He's still our president," Sally argued.

"Percy," Paul said, effectively shoving Percy unwillingly into the middle of a political debate between his parents, "say that your job was sent to a plant in Guatela-something-or-other. Now, are you going to vote for the man that let that happen?"

Percy stared wide-eyed at a spot between his parents, hoping he would miraculously turn invisible.

Sally rolled her eyes. "President Ford isn't taking my job, he took Nixon's."

"Percy," Paul insisted much to Percy's dismay.

"I think that, uh," Percy said hesitantly, "that everyone's political opinion is valid and worth hearing."

Reyna clapped slowly and dramatically. "That's great, Perce. Use that line when you run for Miss America."

Percy almost flipped her off. Almost. Before he remembered that he was in the presence of his politically differing parents and that he would be grounded for a month.

(***)

The gang stood against the back wall of the auditorium as the principal spoke at the podium about the presidential visit. None of them looked too impressed about the whole ordeal.

"Settle down," the principal shouted. "Now, concerning the can goods drive: Motor oil is not a food." There were several boos from the gathered students. "It's not and all your booing is not going to make it one. As you all know, President Ford will be visiting our fair city and I know that some of you -" he paused to stare meaningfully at Percy and his group, "out there might be planning some sort of 'social statement' type protest."

Nico snorted. "Who cares if Ford is coming?"

Several of their group nodded in agreement.

"Hey, it's better than when the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile drove through," Percy admitted.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "They didn't even stop. They just threw out a bunch of hot dog whistles at us."

Leo snickered perversely. "Two girls in a phallic RV, driving around handing out things you blow. iMaravilloso!"

"And let me tell you, Mr. or Mrs. Punk," the principal was saying as they tuned back in, "protesting accomplishes nothing." A light went off in Jason's head. "Sure, you might see a chance to prove your manhood or show that you're 'cool'." A light turned on in Percy's head. "But this is our president, darn it! No shenanigans, you understand?" Another light went on in Leo's mind. "If that's your kind of attitude, you might as well go home right now."

The exit sign over Frank turned on as he turned to leave with a smile before Hazel stopped him.

(***)

Apollo Solace, Tristan McLean, and Fred Chase were standing around the Solace's living room sipping on scotch as they conducted a meeting. Mr. Chase was in charge of the presidential rally and had been invited over to discuss the president's arrival.

"President Ford will be arriving at noon," Tristan McLean said casually.

Apollo opened his mouth to reply when Will and Leo walked into the living room. Leo immediately grabbed a hold of a deviled egg from a tray near the door.

"Hey, dad," Will greeted awkwardly.

His father waved him off. "Not now, Sunny. We're discussing adult stuff here. Why don't you and your friend head up to your room?"

The two teenagers glanced at each other in surprise before racing for Will's bedroom upstairs.

"The most important part of our presidential rally is the townspeople's Q and A section," Apollo continued nonchalantly.

Fred Chase sat forward. "We need to find the right person. A working-class guy, just your average Joe. Someone, someone…"

The lamp over Apollo's head lit up.

"That Ramirez-Arellano's girl! What's her name? The tough one? Rena? Raya? Reyna? Yes! Reyna!" Apollo shouted in excitement. "That's genius, Fred!"

Fred glanced around in confusion. "That's not what I was…"

"No, she's perfect!" Apollo insisted. "Her mother's worked for the Department of Defense for years, so she'll know what she's talking about! She's opinionated but she's pretty so she'll get away with it! Genius!"

(***)

The cool, unfazed black eyes stared into Fred Chase's soul as he attempted to explain his - or Apollo's - reasoning behind their - Apollo's - decision. "We, of course, thought of you. We'd like for you to ask President Ford a question. So what do you say?"

"I say no thanks. Now get off my porch," she replied without blinking.

From behind her came a young man's voice, "I'll do it."

"Shove it, Octavian," Reyna shouted in annoyance.

Fred gulped as he realized the only thing scarier than a bored Reyna was an annoyed Reyna. "You keep working on those fortunes, Octavian. Just imagine, Reyna: you, the common civilian, get to have your opinions heard by the most powerful man in America. Take advantage of this opportunity."

The porch light over Reyna's head turned on.

"Turn that light off," she shouted at Octavian who squeaked in fear before quickly turning off the offending light.

(***)

The guys stood around in the Jackson's basement discussing the president's visit. Jason paced behind the couch as Leo, Percy, and Frank watched him quietly.

"Look, you guys, we have to do something memorable," Jason finally said.

From an old supply room, Nico emerged with a beer in hand. "Yeah, you need to do something that says we will not pay homage to a corrupt political system. Something that would make our founding fathers proud, man."

Leo clapped his hands together. "Let's streak!"

"Bingo!" Jason pointed to Leo as he went to sit in the lawn chair.

"Awesome!" Leo exclaimed. "I've always wanted to do that. Just run buck naked through a sea of people. Be free and shake it around. Who's in?"

Percy's hand shot up without a second thought. "My parent's are going to kill me but it's totally worth it, man."

"Will people be chasing us with torches and pitchforks?" Frank asked warily.

Jason glanced around awkwardly. "Uh, no?"

"Then I am in," Frank said with a smile.

Nico snorted. "Count me in. Might as well add public nudity to my list of misdemeanors."

(***)

Reyna was eating lunch in the school's cafeteria with Piper and Jason when Percy and Annabeth joined them. Jason was staring at Piper with a look of complete adoration as she blushed. Reyna was trying not to throw up from the two pining teenagers.

"I don't see how they expect us to eat this crap," Percy complained as Nico and Leo made their way over. "Hey, guys, the rally is tonight."

Nico smiled knowingly as Leo laughed maniacally.

Reyna narrowed her eyes at the guys as Piper and Annabeth each raised an eyebrow. The boys responded with matching secretive grins, except Jason who hid his growing blush from Piper.

"What are you dumbasses planning?" Reyna asked suspiciously.

"Are you going to look like a bunch of idiots?" Annabeth asked before they could answer.

Leo chuckled darkly. "A bunch of naked idiots."

Annabeth groaned as Reyna busted out laughing. Piper's blush darkened as she realized what Leo was insinuating.

"Dear god, you guys are going to look like complete idiots," Reyna said through the laughter. "I can't wait to see that! Who's the genius that came up with this idea? Leo?"

Leo's face showed how proud of himself he was for his idea.

(***)

"Make way for my presidential pies," Sally chirped as she carried a tray of pies to the table where Reyna sat writing in the Jackson's kitchen. "We've got cherry, apple, and blueberry. See? It's red, white, and blue! Isn't that cute?"

Reyna nodded hesitantly.

Piper entered with a piece of paper that she nervously placed in front of Reyna. "Um, my dad told me to give this to you. Please, please, don't kill the messenger."

"What is it?" Reyna asked suspiciously.

The tanned girl took a small step away from the vicious looking girl in front of her. "It's, uh, your question for President Ford?"

"But I'm working on my question for President Ford," Reyna said quietly.

Piper stood her ground even though she was terrified that the girl was going to stab her at any moment with the pen in her hand. "Well," she swallowed, "this is the one my dad's committee made you?"

She grimaced as she realized how all her statements were coming out sounding like questions.

Reyna read the question aloud, "'What has been you favorite parade?' Oh god, the hell is wrong with that damn committee? I can ask President Ford whatever damn thing I want. It's my right and I am not going to be a puppet for your dad's asinine committee. If they wanted an idiot they should have asked for Leo or Percy."

As if summoned by his name, Percy walked through the kitchen door and almost walked back out when he sensed the tension building. His mother grabbed his arm before he could make his escape. Before he could argue, she was handing him trays of pies to be placed on the dining room table right in the middle of No Man's Land. Percy gave his mom a pleading look but she was already retreating to the main dining room, pretending to be busy.

"Look, I didn't write the question,' Piper explained desperately. "If you're going to get mad, get mad at Mr. Chase or my dad. Even Mr. Solace wanted you to ask whatever you wanted."

"Tell your father he can get bent," Reyna spat before turning back to her question.

Paul strolled in through the sliding door with a gentle smile. When he caught sight of Percy's terrified face as he inched his way toward Reyna with a tray, though, his smile vanished. When Reyna got into one of these moods it was always best to give her space. The door made an audible click in the tense quiet as Paul closed it and Piper jumped in surprise.

Her face said it all. Paul sighed before opening the door for his niece who proceeded to scurry out.

Percy hesitantly placed the tray on the table, careful to avoid eye contact before he shot back to the living room door.

'Hey, dad," he said from the far side of the room, "can I borrow your trench coat?"

Paul nodded his assent and Percy bolted from the room.

"Sorry, Mr. Jackson," Reyna muttered as Paul went to grab a beer from the refrigerator.

(***)

Annabeth had to remind herself what it was she saw in Percy when she stepped on to the Jackson's driveway to find five guys in nothing but trench coats.

Jason and Percy wore matching shit-eating grins as they each held a Snoopy and Nixon mask, respectively. Leo was bouncing excitedly in place as Frank looked around in embarrassment.

Nico held up his Oscar Mayer whistle. "Alright, here's the plan. We all put on our Snoopy masks, Percy you put your Nixon mask on, and then I'll blow my whistle. That means we go."

"You sure you want to add this to your list of criminal offenses? I mean what if you go to jail?" Jason asked.

The Italian shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, man, remember, it's not a matter of if I go to jail. It's a matter of when. I figure if it's inevitable then I may as well make the most of it. Go big or go home, right?"

"Can you not go big and go home? Home is not so bad, yeah?" Frank spoke up only to be relatively ignored.

Annabeth laughed as Leo shifted from foot to foot in anticipation.

"Can we go already?" he said. "I'm itching to let loose the hound here."

Sally came out to see them off. "Well, look at you boys. What is with you young people and Columbo?"

She threw her hands up as she shook her head. The guys said a quick goodbye before jumping into the Vista Cruiser. Annabeth waved them off with a small sigh.

(***)

Outside the rally, the guys were waiting around when Leo spotted Will sitting a few rows down talking to some random guy. Despite Nico's protests, Leo took off down the aisle.

He heard a snippet of conversation that sounded suspiciously like flirting before he could interrupt them.

"Hey, are you hitting on my boyfriend?" Leo shoved the guy away despite the fact that the guy was practically twice his size.

Will groaned. "No, Leo, he's not."

"You wanna go, ese?" Leo shoved the guy roughly. Leo started to take off his coat to fight before remembering that he was stark naked underneath. He angrily tied his trench coat tighter. "You're so lucky that I'm naked, pal!"

The guy scoffed as he moved on. Will rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's stupidity.

Frank gasped. "Whoa, there's a lot of other guys in trench coats. Are they streaking, too?"

"Uh, no," Jason chuckled. "They're with secret service, man."

Looking at all the intimidating presidential security, the guys started to squirm uncomfortably. The reality of what they were about to do finally sunk in.

"Maybe we should sit down?" Percy suggested.

Everyone agreed quickly.

"You know, maybe I should stay back and hold onto your trench coats? I mean, you guys can't exactly come back for them. And it is my fault, so I'll take the bullet and hang back," Jason hedged.

Nico rolled his eyes.

Piper sat next to Jason and leaned into whisper in his ear. "Kill me now so I don't have to deal with the fallout, alright? Reyna's going to ask her own question against my dad's wishes."

Jason's eyes widened in amazement. "You let Reyna ask the question? Your dad thought he could control Reyna? I tell you what, if this goes exactly how I know it's going to go, then we can sneak out that side door and wait this out in the basement."

She mouthed the words, 'Thank you'.

Apollo Solace entered from a side entrance and made his way up to the stage. Once he stood behind the podium the audience quieted down.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States of America: Gerald R. Ford," he introduced in his deep voice.

The audience clapped politely as the president approached the podium.

As the president began his speech, Percy caught sight of Annabeth standing beside her parents who were both in bright American flag jumpsuits for some reason. Annabeth sidled up next to him at one point with a tired sigh.

"You gonna streak?" Annabeth asked casually.

Percy smiled his trademark lopsided grin. "You want us to distract the crowd from your parents fashion failure, right?"

"Shut up," she grumbled before adding slyly, "I just thought its been awhile since I've seen you naked."

"You've never seen me naked," Percy said with certainty.

Annabeth laughed. "Like a zillion times. When we were kids you were always running around the neighborhood naked and screaming 'wee-wee, pee-pee!'"

Percy hung his head in embarrassment as Mr. Solace stepped back up to the podium. "It is now time for the Q and A portion of our program. First up, I'd like to introduce Miss Reyna Ramirez-Arellano. Miss Reyna is the daughter of the infamous Bellona Ramirez-Arellano who, as we all know, worked for the Department of Defense. She is a remarkable student in high school and a loving sister to her two siblings. And despite the fact that her mother was laid off, she has managed to make the best of this terrible situation. I give you, Reyna Ramirez-Arellano!"

Will sunk lower in his seat. He knew that look and was shocked that his dad would be so reckless with the President of the United States.

"Mr. President," Reyna announced.

Sally and Paul stared at Reyna nervously while Apollo smiled giddily from where he was seated. Leo smirked in amusement as he waited for Reyna to speak. But before Reyna could continue, Percy slapped on his Nixon mask and threw his coat off onto Annabeth's face. He ran into the center aisle with his fist raised high.

"Wee-wee! Pee-pee! Wee-wee! Pee-pee!" Percy shouted dramatically. He raced out the door, followed closely by the secret service agents as his friends looked on in disbelief.

With a smirk, Reyna shook her head. "Hey, Gerry, here's my question: How the hell could you pardon Nixon?"

The audience cheered and Mr. Solace barked out a laugh while Mr. McLean shook his head in disgust.

(***)

Hours later, Paul sat in his favorite recliner while Reyna lounged on the couch.

"You did good today, Reyna," Paul said after a moment.

She gave him a small smile but refused to look at him. She had never done well with genuine compliments from adults.

Percy came through the front door with his lopsided grin in place.

"Hey, son," Paul said with a knowing raise of his eyebrow.

Reyna snorted as she sat up to look at him over the back of the couch. "Hey, Nudist."

Percy chuckled nervously as he headed for the basement. "All right, well, I'm going downstairs."

"Next time," Reyna said before Percy was out of earshot, "don't wear black socks. You looked like an ass."

Percy chuckled good-naturedly as he made his way to the stair landing. He was greeted with the sight of his best friend and his cousin making out on the couch. "WHAT?"

Jason and Piper shot away from each other with looks of guilt and shock clear on their faces.

"Hey, man, good to know you didn't get arrested," Jason tried with a nervous chuckle. "That was really funny stuff!"

Percy flailed his arms out in front of him in baffled anger. "My cousin? My cousin, man? And, Pipes, my best friend? Really?" Percy looked around in frustration. "What is this world coming to? First Will and Leo of all freaking people; Hazel's practically dating the dorky foreign kid; and now this? And I'm still not with Annabeth? What the hell?"

He stormed back up the stairs as Jason started laughing at him. Piper looked offended at first but the more Jason laughed the harder it was for her to stifle her giggles.

(***)

Percy and Annabeth sat on the hood of the Vista Cruiser in the Jackson's driveway. Annabeth bumped her shoulder against his.

"How could they not catch you?" Annabeth asked with a laugh.

"Nobody wants to tackle a naked guy," Percy answered.

Annabeth nodded in agreement.

"Did you," Percy started to ask. "Um, did you see anything?"

"Well… Maybe just a bit. But, you know, not the bit," she answered.

The two sit in silence for a moment before her words sink in. "Wait, what do you mean bit?"


	4. Battle of the Sexes

Part of the gang sat in the Jackson's basement as Percy and Will argued over who would win in a fight: the Fonz or Bruce Lee. Nico was slouched in his chair in anguish as the argument continued, even Jason was struggling to stay awake.

"Just say it, Percy," Nico grumbled. "Say it and he'll leave!"

"Fine!" Percy said begrudgingly, "Will, the Fonz… could beat up Bruce Lee."

Will smiled smugly. "Thank you. Now, Leo, don't forget to call me tonight at eight."

Leo groaned in annoyance as he sank onto the couch. "But that's when Chico y el Hombre is on."

"I know, but I like it when you describe it to me," Will shrugged. "Oh, do your Chico impersonation!"

Leo blushed and smiled nervously as he squirmed in his seat. "I don't think these guys wanna hear my impersonation…"

Percy and Jason wore matching shit-eating grins as they leaned forward eagerly.

"We'd love it. By all means," Jason encouraged.

Glancing around at the eager, expectant faces, Leo caved. "Alright, alright." He waved his hands in front of him as if to shoo them away. Then he continued in a slight accent, "Looking gooooood!"

Will clapped excitedly before practically skipping out the door.

Nico groaned. "Leo, quick question: why can't you date someone a little less annoying?"

"Like who?" Leo asked as he grabbed a paddle ball and began playing with it.

"Silena Beauregard?" Percy suggested.

Jason added, "Or Butch Walker?"

"Drew Tanaka! Now, that's a beautiful human being," Leo sighed. "That girl's got some knockers, baby!"

Percy shook his head adamantly. "Not bigger than Silena's. That's like comparing…" He froze as Paul came downstairs to rifle through his toolbox, "Exodus and Deuteronomy, both of which have taught us very valuable lessons. Oh, hey, dad!"

Paul continued rifling through his tools. "Dryer broke. Oh, nuts! I need my vice-grips."

As soon as Paul was out of earshot, Leo started up again. "Have you seen Drew in a tube top? It's like you're looking at the Grand Tetons! In a tube top!"

Jason shook his head. "But we all know Drew's are big, but are they bigger than Silena's? Because Silena's are bigger than…" Sally came down the stairs, "the walls of Jericho, which - as we all know - came tumbling down, right? Oh, hello, Mrs. Jackson."

Sally looked at Percy for a quick second before all but bursting into tears.

The boys watched in silent confusion as Sally ran back upstairs with a teary-eyed apology thrown over her shoulder. Percy sighed.

"Sounds like your mom is losing it," Nico said nonchalantly.

"Jeez," Leo muttered. "What's gotten into her? She's like this pathetic chick…" Paul returned downstairs and Leo spat out the first thing that came to mind, "with breasts the size of watermelons is what Moses said to the Egyptians!"

Paul squinted at the young latino before pointing towards the door. "Leo, go home."

Leo quickly took off.

"Percy, we're having a family meeting," Paul informed him before leaving.

Jason and Nico looked away awkwardly as they knew what that entailed.

(***)

Annabeth watched as Percy and Leo played basketball in the Jackson's driveway. She could tell by how loud and boisterous Percy was being that he was upset about something but he wasn't talking to her about it. It wasn't her place to pry, she'd thought, so she waited until he was ready to face his problems.

"Jackson has the ball," Percy announced, "he fakes left, he fakes right, the crowd is on their feet. They're all chanting: Percy! Percy!"

In the midst of his chanting, Leo stole the ball and scored.

"I got winner," Annabeth said.

Leo shook his head as he passed her the ball and started heading towards the road. "I have to get going, it's almost eight. Gotta call Will."

In unison, Annabeth and Percy teased, "Looking gooooood!"

Leo huffed in annoyance before stomping off. Annabeth laughed as she began to dribble the basketball.

Percy smirked as he began his announcer's voice again, "Chase has the ball, Jackson guards her closely. She tries to shake him, but she can't!"

Even as the words left his mouth, Annabeth scored on him. He watched her incredulously.

"Chase actually scores! Tartarus freezes over! A monkey types The Odyssey!" Percy shouted dramatically.

"One nothing," Annabeth gloated.

Later in the game, Annabeth can tell for sure that something was bothering Percy since she was beating him so easily. Yet, she still waited for him to tell her.

She started teasing him again, "Chase the Underdog! Up by five. She fakes right, she fakes left, she fakes right then left, she fakes faking right and fakes left. Now, she actually fakes…"

Percy stood up straight to look at her in frustration. 'Annabeth! What are you doing?"

"Running out the clock," she answered smartly.

"There is no clock!" he shouted.

Annabeth smiled sweetly as she took a shot over Percy's head and scored again. "That's game! Jeez, what a slaughter. I just wiped the court with you, Seaweed Brain."

Percy huffed out a laugh as he headed toward his house. "Well, I gotta go inside. But don't worry, Wise Girl, I'll leave a light on. Wouldn't want you to gloat in the dark." He stopped when he saw his mom moving around in the kitchen. "Actually, do you mind hanging out with me for a little while longer?"

"No problem," Annabeth answered quickly. "You want to go to my house?"

Percy nodded quietly before he began following her to her house.

"My biological father is supposedly coming to town," Percy said suddenly just before they entered the Chase's house. "He called my mom last night. That's why Paul's been 'fixing' everything and mom's been crying whenever she looks at me."

Annabeth froze. She turned quickly to look at him with wide eyes. "But I thought he was lost at sea or whatever?"

Percy's face was blank as he stared at her.

"Are you going to see him?" Annabeth asked instead.

Percy shrugged halfheartedly.

(***)

Sally and Paul were sitting at the dining room table where Paul was pushing on the table.

"Is this table wobbling?" Paul asked.

"No, dear," Sally sighed sadly. "Honey, you can't keep trying to fix everything. You're going to have to face what's going on sooner or later."

Paul kept messing with the table. "No, it's definitely wobbling."

Sally huffed out a breath as Paul ran out the door muttering something about getting his saw. The sliding door hadn't fully shut before Percy was opening it up to come back in. He sat down in his chair quietly and began to dig into his food with gusto.

"Honey," Sally started.

Percy shook his head. "It's okay, Mom. It's okay."

The sliding door opened again as Paul entered with his saw.

"Uh, has dad gone crazy?" Percy whispered to his mother.

"I'm afraid so, dear," Sally answered.

(***)

The boys were sitting in the basement again. Leo and Nico were making fun of Percy for losing a basketball game to Annabeth.

Percy argued half-heartedly, "Why is it such a big deal?"

"She's a girl!" Leo laughed. "A girl you looooove."

Frank picked at some lint on his pants. "In my country, if a woman beats you it means she wants you. But this is America…. Wuss."

Leo started chanting the word 'wuss' over and over.

When Percy didn't throw a sarcastic remark at Leo, Jason turned to give him a concerned look. So, he came to his friend's rescue. "Well, what about Leo. I mean, Will has him totally whipped."

Frank nodded solemnly. "Whipped like the family pig."

The boy in question sputtered in disbelief. "I am not pig-whipped. Where do you get this stuff?"

Nico raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding?" He continued in a cheerful tone, "Leo, call me at eight!"

Jason joined in, "Leo, do your Chico impression!"

Percy stood up and walked out the door as the rest of the group watched in confusion, only Jason knew vaguely what was going on.

"What's with him?" Leo asked.

Jason leaned forward. "Don't let him know that I told you, but Percy's biological father is coming to town. From what I gather, he may be wanting to try for custody but no one really knows."

The guys sat in stunned silence.

Nico finally broke the silence, "Why can't estranged fathers just stay out of town?"

(***)

The Jackson's kitchen is a bit tense as Sally and Paul looked down at their dining room table. It sat at a slight angle from where one of the legs had been sawed down too much.

"I think I got it!" Paul said triumphantly.

Sally forced a smile. "That's lovely, Paul!"

"Solid as a rock!" he said.

She giggled nervously. "It sure is. Thank you!"

A pitcher of lemonade and a glass were set carefully down onto the table. As Sally put a melon on the table she kept a hand on it so that it wouldn't roll off and show how tilted the table was.

"Why don't you go watch TV while I get lunch ready?" Sally suggested.

Paul stared at the hand on the melon. "Sal, take your hand off that melon."

"You know, you haven't gone fishing…"

"Sally, take your hand off that melon," Paul insisted.

As soon as she moved her hand, the melon rolled off the table.

(***)

The phone began ringing in the Chase's kitchen, Marybai answered the phone only to hand it over to Annabeth without hesitation when she heard the young girl squealing on the other end.

"Hello?" Annabeth answered.

Piper's voice came through the phone. "You beat Percy at basketball, how'd that happen?"

Annabeth sighed. She'd already gotten shit from Hazel and Will about beating her crush at basketball. "So, I beat Percy? What's the big deal?"

"Percy will never be your boyfriend if you keep beating him at stuff! Okay, it's like in West Side Story. If Maria beat Tony at one-on-one, they would never have fallen in love."

"Yeah," Annabeth hesitantly agreed. "And Tony never would have been killed in that knife fight."

Without thinking over her answer, Piper blurted out, "And neither will Percy if you're not careful!" A beat of silence. "Actually, pretty sure Jason and Nico have both stabbed Percy before."

Annabeth quickly said goodbye before hanging up.

Her mother was watching her from the kitchen island with a cup of coffee in her hand. "Honey, I think your pretty friend is right. Certain things change."

With a roll of her eyes, Annabeth argued, "Percy and I have been playing games our whole lives. Sometimes he wins and sometimes I win. I really don't see the big deal here!"

"No, I mean the rules change," Marybai explained slowly. "Women have to pretend to be weak and fragile so that men can feel superior."

"That's insane!" Annabeth insisted. "If women don't stand up for themselves, men will always control the world!"

Marybai patted her daughter's shoulder reassuringly. "Oh, sweetie, men don't control the world."

Fred entered the kitchen as he readied himself to leave for work. Marybai handed him a pickle jar and asked for him to open it for her. He struggled for a second before the lid finally snapped open.

She clapped. "Oh, I'm so lucky to have my big, strong grizzly bear around."

Her husband stood a little taller as he gave her a kiss and then walked out the door.

"Okay," Annabeth started, "first of all, ew. Second, things don't work that way anymore. That's what the equal rights amendment is for."

"That's good, honey," Marybai said. "You stick to your principles. In forty years, you can tell all your cats how you won a basketball game."

(***)

In the Big House, the gang was hanging out waiting for Leo to get off the phone with Will.

"Man, are you still on the phone?" Nico asked incredulously. "Come on, let's go."

"I can't" Leo said.

Jason threw an arm around the back of Piper's chair as he settled in for what he knew was going to be a long wait. Percy and Annabeth were playing their tenth game of air hockey in the corner. Frank was sharing his french fries with Hazel as they sat at their own separate table adjacent to the table the rest of the group was using.

Nico sat up in his seat. "Hey! The movie starts in five minutes. Let's go."

Leo refused again.

"Wuss!" Nico said angrily.

"Hold on, Will," Leo said into the phone. He placed his hand over the upper part of the receiver instead of the lower part. So, Will heard every word Leo said to Nico. "Okay, I'll tell him there's an emergency and I gotta go. He'll buy that, right?"

Piper stood, shaking her head. "Yeah, hun, except one thing."

She moved his hand to the lower part of the phone and laughed as the realization dawned in his eyes. When Leo put the phone back to his ear, the line was dead. He hung the phone back up.

"You're totally cheating," Percy insisted as he returned to the table with a gloating Annabeth in tow.

"Or you just need to step up your game, Seaweed Brain."

Leo started looking for change in his pockets until Frank said seriously, "Pig-whipped."

Hazel gave him a weird look as Leo glared at him.

"Seriously," Nico grumbled. "He hung up on you, let's go. You can call him later."

"Oh, yeah! He hung up on me!" Leo said cheerfully. "Okay, let's go!"

The gang stood up and left for the movie theatre.

(***)

Sally walked into the kitchen to find the table a good three inches shorter than it had been that morning. Paul stood next to it looking excited and triumphant. He pulled a chair up to it and sat down only to realize how short it was.

"Oh, crap," he muttered.

"No, no, no, no! Now, look," Sally suggested instead, "we'll get rid of these chairs and we will sit on the floor like those nice Japanese people in Flower Drum Song!"

Paul started heading towards the sliding door. "I'll be in the garage making new legs."

"Okay, honey, you take your time and do a good job. You call me if you need anything," Sally said with barely concealed relief until Paul froze and headed toward the fridge. "Oh, no."

"Shhhh," Paul shushed. "Is it just me, or is that refrigerator too loud?"

"What refrigerator?" Sally said quickly.

Paul got closer to the fridge to listen to it but Sally started singing loudly and off-key in an attempt to keep him from messing with her fridge.

(***)

Annabeth found herself back in the Jackson's driveway shooting hoops with Percy.

"Nice shot," Annabeth said as Percy made a shot.

Percy smiled at her.

"You want to play a quick game?" she asked as he passed her the ball.

He shrugged and she passed the ball back to Percy who proceeded to dribble passed her to score. Annabeth didn't even try to stop him. Even when she got the ball she made it obvious that she was halfheartedly dribbled the ball. Percy stole the ball easily and scored again.

"Goodness, what an awesome shot," Annabeth cheered.

Percy stopped dribbling to look at her. "What are you doing, Annabeth?"

Annabeth swallowed as she reluctantly replied, "I'm losing to you, you big, strong grizzly bear." She made a disgusted face as the words left her mouth and Percy gave her a strange look.

"You, Annabeth Chase, are intentionally throwing the game?" Percy asked.

"What?" She said in shock. "Me? Never!"

Percy just watched her in silence.

That was all it took to cause her to cave. "I didn't want you to feel bad about losing to a girl, again!"

"Are you serious? You think that's… Wow," Percy just shook his head.

"You actually care about this?" She asked incredulously.

"No," Percy said with a quiet anger, "I care that my biological, estranged father is coming to town to fuck with my life. I just can't believe you thought this was over a freaking game. I couldn't care less about those games. I even told you what was bothering me, I mean, god! Just leave my property."

Annabeth stared at him with wide eyes as she realized her error. In her embarrassed horror, she took off for her house.

Percy turned to find his mother watching him from the patio. "Have you been there the whole time?"

Sally shook her head. "No, I came out to get one of your father's tools. He's in there working on my refrigerator. So, I gather you and Annabeth are going through a rough patch."

"No, mom, we're in a school play about two people who hate each other," Percy quipped.

"Alright, Mr. Smartmouth!" Sally shot back. "But you have to remember that most people don't know what you're going through. You have to understand that Annabeth will never know what you're going through unless you actually explain it to her."

Percy threw the basketball angrily towards the garage. "I did!"

"Did you express your feelings or just give her a quick rundown of events?" Sally asked knowingly.

"Well, she should know how I feel about it!" Percy started but then realized his mistake. "She would have at least if I'd told her about how he might want custody and not just how he's coming back."

Sally smirked confidently. "Great. Now, what did I come out here for, again? Right, your father's fixing my fridge."

She went to the garage and grabbed a sledgehammer which she then used to smash some pipes. "Oh, Paul, honey," she called out sweetly. "Forget the fridge! I think there's something wrong with the garage door!"

(***)

Frank and Nico had been hanging out with Leo at the Big House when Will walked in.

"Leo, we need to talk," he said adamantly. When Leo proceeded to ignore him, he angrily stated, "I'm right here!"

"Oh, god. What am I going to do?" Leo stage whispered.

Nico rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Well, you could, and I know this is a radical suggestion, but be a man!"

"You're right, Nico. No more excuses," Leo said with determination. He got up to talk to Will.

Frank looked at Nico, confused. "He will crush Leo, yes?"

"Like samurais crushed your forefathers," Nico stated.

"My forefathers weren't crushed by samurais," Frank said with a smile.

Nico scoffed. "Like anyone cares."

"So, Leo?" Will crossed his arms as he waited for Leo to start talking.

Leo instantly started begging for forgiveness. "I didn't mean to make you hang up on me. I'm sorry, it will never happen again."

Will scowled over Leo's shoulder at Nico. "That's okay, you were obviously under a bad influence. Can you get me a pop, Leo?"

As Leo walked passed his two friends, they chanted 'wuss' at him.

"Uh-huh, well, all those getting some, hands up!" Leo threw his hand up in the air and glanced at his two friends smugly. "Anybody else? No? Yeah, that's what I thought."

(***)

Percy came back from a walk around the block to find Annabeth shooting hoops in his driveway. As he approached her, she stopped shooting and turned to look at him with a sadness in her eyes.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Just shooting hoops, wanted to apologize," Annabeth admitted. "Look, I wasn't thinking clearly and I am so sorry. Please, forgive me."

He grabbed the ball from her without a word and took a shot. "Well, you're off to a crappy start, Chase. One to nothing already!"

Annabeth barked out a laugh. "Oh, really? Is that how it's going to be? You remember when we were kids and I made you eat dirt whenever you lost a game? I think we should start that tradition back up."

"We'll see," Percy taunted.

As Annabeth went to score, Percy stole the ball and ran back down the driveway as she chased after him. "Jackson has the ball, he fakes left, he blows by Chase! And he scores!"

Annabeth took the ball from him again. "You know, if you want to talk about it, I am here for you."

"Yeah, I know, Wise Girl," Percy said. "I don't really want to talk about it right now, but you'll be the first one I tell. Thank you."

As the game continued, Percy was back to his normal self and was wiping the floor with her. He started boasting as she inched towards the grass. When Percy asked what she was doing she replied, "Reaching for a clump of dirt."

"Don't!" he ordered.

She continued to reach for the grass when Percy wrestled her to the ground. Suddenly, their laughter died off as they realized how close they were and how easy it would be for them to just lean in to close the gap.

"What?" Annabeth breathed.

Percy shook his head.

Distantly, they heard Fred calling for Annabeth who jumped up and made an awkward goodbye before leaving.

Paul came out a second later with his toolbox. "Son, let me talk to you about what is and is not acceptable to do with a girl. Starting with tackling them to the ground."

"What? But I thought… Mom needs your help!" Percy tried.

From somewhere in the kitchen he heard his mother shout, "I can't hear you, Percy. I'm ironing. Lalalalala!"

(***)

Leo was talking to Will on the phone while Jason and Frank listened in.

"Barbara Streisand becomes this huge star, right?" Will was rambling. "But Chris Christopherson could not take it anymore. So, he drinks and drinks and crashes his car. Isn't that romantic?"

In unison, Frank and Jason said, "Say, yes its."

Leo did as they said.

"Oh, I just love romantic movies, don't you?" Will asked.

"Say, yes I do," the two said in unison again. Leo did as they said again.

Will hesitated a moment before continuing, "You know what was really romantic? That night we had by the reservoir, when we went skinny-dipping. Remember?"

Frank blushed scarlet as Jason busted out laughing. Unfortunately for Leo, Jason laughed close enough to the phone that Will heard it and instantly knew what his boyfriend was up to.

"LEO!" he shouted.


	5. SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY

It was the middle of the afternoon when Reyna joined her friends in the Jackson's driveway. She found the boys and Annabeth in the middle of a game of HORSE while Will, Piper, and Hazel watched from the sidelines like the most indifferent cheerleaders in the world. 'Play That Funky Music' by Wild Cherry was blaring from the Vista Cruiser's speakers.

Nico's sunglasses were hooked to the collar of his Led Zeppelin T-shirt and his black jeans were burned at the bottom (probably from Leo playing with matches again). Hazel's golden hair was pulled back in a sad attempt to tame her curls and she wore a sunflower yellow blouse with bell bottoms. The two were such polar-opposites and both preferred to act as if the other was not there, thus Hazel pretended not to notice when Nico made a difficult shot from the end of the driveway.

Leo was wearing some grease-stained overalls and an overflowing tool belt hung off a low-hanging branch nearby. His face was covered in black smudges either from playing with fire or fixing cars with his parents. Will was dressed impeccably as always in a crisp sky blue shirt and jeans that looked fresh off the rack from some department store. Reyna could not tell what Will saw in Leo.

Beside them stood a thoughtful Frank whose shirt looked like a kaleidoscope threw up on it. Annabeth stood between Reyna and the Cruiser wearing her usual lumberjack-esque apparel while Percy tried not to swoon over her from a few feet away. Percy's T-shirt was the same color as his eyes and strangely enough the same color as Jason's shirt, too. Reyna wouldn't be surprised in the least if they had planned to dress alike.

Piper was in a designer lavender sundress which she kept fiddling with as if it made her nervous.

Percy barely made a shot from the end of the driveway before moving aside for Leo to attempt the shot. The basketball left Leo's fingertips in slow-motion it seemed and sailed overhead towards the goal before continuing its course over the goal and straight into the garage.

"Damn!" Leo cursed as Percy and Reyna laughed.

Nico snorted. "Well, surprise, surprise. Leo misses another one. I believe that's H-O-R."

Frank nodded sagely. "Ah, you are a whore."

Hazel covered her rapidly reddening face with both of her hands as Will tried to stifle a giggle behind his own hand. Percy and Nico doubled over in a fit of laughter as Frank looked around in confusion. Reyna patted Frank on the shoulder as she chuckled.

"No, man, the game is HORSE," Leo explained quickly.

"Oh," Frank muttered before wandering away to hide in the Jackson's house.

Will hopped off the Vista Cruiser's hood and walked towards his boyfriend. "Okay, Leo, I'm going home. I've got a ton of homework to work on."

The guys stared at Will as if he'd grown a second head. "You do your homework on a Saturday night? What? You going to be a doctor or something?" Percy joked.

Silence followed his questioning as Will looked down in embarrassment.

"Holy Hades, really? Why are you dating this one then?" Hazel asked with a finger pointed at Leo who was attempting to balance a basketball on his nose.

"Bye, Leo!" Will mumbled as he scurried off.

The group watched Will run off. Eventually, Nico turned to face Leo with a look of mock excitement. "Leo, Will does his homework on Saturday night. That's so hip."

Leo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "You guys don't have to worry about Will anymore 'cause I'm breaking up with him."

Annabeth scoffed. "I am so tired of hearing you say that."

"No! I really am breaking up with him!" Leo argued.

Nico raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? When?"

Leo floundered for a moment before blurting out, 'I'm picking my moment."

Before Nico could make a snarky remark, Percy asked, "Hey where's Frank?"

They all turned to see Frank standing in the Jackson's backyard where he took a shot that went straight in. The gang stared at the basketball goal in utter shock as Frank came back to join them.

"Your turn, Annabeth," Frank said kindly as he handed her the ball.

(***)

The Jackson's were in their kitchen, Percy was eating blueberry waffles while Paul poured his coffee at the kitchen counter. Sally was dancing around the kitchen singing happily along to the radio.

Percy put his fork down when his mother bumped Paul playfully with her hip, he was suddenly suspicious. "Mom, did you quit smoking again?"

A giggle answered him followed by a sing-song voice asking, "And why do you ask, little one?"

"Well, you're kind of talking like Snow White, so I figured…"

Paul regarded him in a stern manner as he sat down across from Percy at the dining room table.

Percy quickly backtracked. "Which is so great! I really want you to quit! I'm so proud!"

"Well, I should have quit a long time ago," Sally agreed as she sat down, still talking with a too-chipper tone. "I'm an adult, I know better. More sausage?"

The phone's ringing cut Percy off before he could answer. Paul stood up to answer the phone. Listening to half the phone call, Percy and Sally could tell that the call was none too pleasant given the crestfallen tone of Paul's voice.

The blueberry waffle in Percy's stomach was threatening to come back up as he realized with absolute certainty that the call was about his biological father. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mother's fingers fidgeting, itching for a cigarette. His real father had just ruined his mother's chances of quitting smoking and he wasn't even physically here.

Paul hung up the phone before quietly walking back to his seat with his head down. "So, that was Poseidon. He made it here a little early and he's going to church with us today."

Tension filled the silent kitchen while that information sank in.

"This is wonderful," Sally said eagerly even though her face said it was anything but wonderful. She quickly jumped up and pulled a ham out of the oven. "I'll need to get some salmon and maybe some shrimp. Because, King Poseidon doesn't like ham!"

With that emotional outburst she threw the ham down on the stove top and stormed out of the kitchen in a teary-eyed blur. Paul rubbed his face and Percy used his fork to poke sullenly at his blueberry waffle.

"I'll call him back and tell him no?" Paul suggested weakly.

"Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul," Percy said his name as if he were a silly child. "Really? He'd probably just show up with his lawyers, ready to take me away, if you told him not to come."

His stepfather sighed resignedly.

Percy ran a hand through his hair out of frustration. He couldn't figure out why his father suddenly wanted him back in his life after all these years. It wasn't like Percy or Sally had any monetary wealth nor were they even remotely famous.

"I'll hang out with Poseidon. That way Mom won't have to deal with him and I can say I at least pretend to give him a chance," Percy suggested instead. "What do you say?"

Sally stormed back into the kitchen with her purse in hand. "Get in the car, we're going to church and we're going to have a damn nice Sunday. You understand?"

Paul scrambled out after his wife as she rushed off to their car.

"Damn," Percy said to the empty kitchen as he stood and followed his parents out.

(***)

Paul and Sally sat in the front seat of their Camaro watching Percy awkwardly greet his biological father in front of the church. Neither wanted to get out and face the old sailor.

"Oh, Paul, I don't think I can do this!" Sally cried.

"Sal, do us all a favor, and light up," Paul replied absently.

She slapped his arm which only caused him to shrug. Eventually, Paul managed to convince Sally to get of the car and confront her ex-boyfriend. The walk up to the church was longer than normal due to how many times Sally almost turned back.

When they arrived they find Percy and Poseidon in the midst of an intense argument. From what the two could gather, Poseidon had fought in the Vietnam war and now father and son were in disagreement over whether that war in particular had been a spectacular waste of time or not.

"It was a complete waste of time to send American troops over there to fight a war that was none of our business," Percy was arguing animatedly. "I could understand World War II, Hitler was threatening the world and they attacked us. I can agree that America should have joined that war, but the freaking Vietnam War? Please!"

Paul laughed nervously as he tried to defuse the situation before anything bad happened. "So, Poseidon, nice to meet you. I'm Paul Jackson, Percy's stepfather."

It took a second but eventually Poseidon's anger subsided and he turned his attention to his ex-girlfriend and her husband. "Yes, it's a pleasure," he answered, sounding more like it was torture. He gestured towards Paul's Camaro. "Is that a Camaro? I hate those cars. You know, I just really hate those cars." Paul and Percy shared a look. "I have a Lincoln. Now, that is a beautiful car. But it's probably too expensive for you."

Percy rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe that his biological father was such a dillhole.

"So, Sally," Poseidon continued on with a slight chuckle. "I hear you quit smoking?"

Sally eyed him warily as she nodded.

"That's good, the kid's really proud of you," Poseidon said, too casually.

Then, it hit Percy like a flying sea-cow, his biological father still loved his mother. As that realization sunk in, all Percy wanted was to find Annabeth and freak out. Instead, he followed the three adults into the church just as service was starting.

"In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, amen," Pastor Chiron said towards the end of church. "Please stand for a moment of silent meditation."

Dear God, Sally thought, thank you for helping me quit such a filthy, disgusting, soothing, delicious habit. Oh, I can't do this. No, no! I'm fine! Amen.

Paul looked up a little as he thought, Dear Lord, would it kill you to give the Yankees a winning season? Amen. Oh, and, uh, don't let Poseidon take Percy from us.

Dear God, I don't mean to bother you on your day off, but, I promised to help out with my estranged father, but I have a term paper due tomorrow. So, if you could either, get him out of my life again or burn down the school tomorrow… I mean, either/or! God's choice. It'd really help me out, man. God. Lord. Percy shook his head, he was being stupid again. Amen.

Poseidon glanced around and spotted his brother in a pew behind him, glaring. He smiled and gave him a little wave which was ignored. He bowed his head again. Dear God, help me figure out what I'm actually doing here.

(***)

In Percy's basement, Nico was sitting in his favorite chair while Leo and Annabeth sat on the couch with Will sitting on the arm of the chair between Leo and Nico. Jason sat in front of Piper who was seated in the lawn chair. Frank was scooting a tricycle back and forth near the television.

A TV host announced, "Welcome to worship for shut-ins."

"Change it," Leo ordered.

Frank scooted closer to the TV and changed the channel.

The sound of a bowling ball hitting pins came from the television then.

"Ugh, change that," Nico grumbled.

Frank changed the channel again.

Annabeth pursed her lips together in thought. "How did we change channels before Frank?"

Jason looked up in thought. "Um, I don't think we ever did."

Percy came down the stairs before coming to a halt on the landing. "Oh, you guys. I gotta work on my term paper."

"Where's dear old dad?" Jason asked warily.

"He and Reyna are arguing about the best war strategies of history, so I've got about, like, an hour, two hours tops?" Percy explained.

Annabeth slid over for Percy to sit between her and Leo on the couch. He plopped down and opened his notebook. Flipping through the pages, he finally found the one he was looking for.

"What's the assignment?" Annabeth asked.

Percy read through the information he'd written down. "Alright. In a thousand words, describe the three branches of the United States government, and their functions. I'll never make it."

Piper spoke up, "Well, go up and tell them you have homework to do."

"No, I need to keep peace in the family," Percy explained in frustration.

"Yeah, Piper," Nico said, "Jackson wants the Hallmark card family."

Percy grumbled. "Kind of late for that. Never heard of a Hallmark card family with a stepdad, a mom, a whore of a sister, and an estranged father."

"No, no, just imagine," Nico said. "Father comes over…"

**Sally, Paul, Poseidon, and Percy were standing in the standard Hallmark card family pose. As they spoke, Nico's voice came out instead of their normal voices.

"To my dear husband this beautiful Sunday," Sally said cheerfully to Paul. "Your smiling face, your kind embrace, have made my home a happy place!"

Poseidon happily told Paul, "And I'm so happy you're the one, who raised my loving son."

"And I'm so happy, you're all happy," Percy said delightedly. "'Cause otherwise, life would be crappy."**

A pencil was hurled towards NIco which he easily dodged. Percy grumbled, "I don't want him here at all."

"Yeah, you do," Leo snickered.

Nico nodded knowingly. "But the reality of it, is this…"

**The family was standing in the same pose as before but this time they were all glaring at Poseidon.

"To this jerk, you took my son," Poseidon accused Paul.

Sally complained to Poseidon, "You wrecked my life."

"You missed my youth," Percy grumbled to Poseidon.

"You hurt my wife," Paul criticized.

Paul argued, "I'm trying to fix this, that's the truth."

"That's a joke," Percy grouched.

"I'm going out," Paul griped.

"I need a smoke!" Sally cried.**

Percy picked up a knickknack he found on the table in front of him and threw it at Nico who dodged it again.

"Damn it, Percy," Reyna grumbled as she came down the stairs. "Quit hiding from your father. He's looking for you."

"I thought you two were debating!" Percy said incredulously.

Reyna shrugged. "Eh, he agreed with me."

Annabeth grabbed Percy's notebook, "Look, you go take care of your father, we can handle this."

He sighed as he headed back upstairs.

"How many words does he have?" Jason asked as he sat up.

Annabeth counted the words. "Name, date, class. So, seven."

Nico whistled. "He's screwed."

She nodded in agreement.

With a snap of his fingers, Leo recommended, "Use his middle name!"

"See, this would never have happened if he did his homework on Saturday," Will said.

Nico groaned. "Save it." Then, to Leo, he added, "This is a moment. Pick it!"

"I think you all could learn something from me right now," Will stated.

"Moment number two," Nico said in exasperation.

Leo nodded in understanding. "Hey, Will, we need to talk."

He stood up to confront him before Will clapped his hands excitedly. "Oh! I did this same paper last year in History. I got an A. I'll go home and get it!"

Leo tried to stop his boyfriend but Annabeth stopped him with a vice-like grip on his forearm. Once Will ran out of the basement, she released the latino.

"Don't break up with him until after we get that paper! Understood?" Annabeth said in earnest.

He nodded in understanding as he sat down again.

"Hey, what do we need Will for, man? I know more about this stuff than he does. The three true branches of the government: military, corporate, and Hollywood. I need a pencil. I got it, I got it," Nico declared, motioning for someone to hand him a pencil.

(***)

Percy sat across the table from his father with his mother between them. Paul had disappeared to the garage a long while ago. Poseidon was drumming his fingers on the table as Sally resisted the urge to run outside and light up.

"I hope you're hungry, the salmon will be done soon," Sally said uncomfortably.

Poseidon smiled kindly. "I'm sure it'll be delicious."

"Oh, joy," Percy muttered. "So, Poseidon, what did you think of the service this morning?"

The sliding door opened as Paul came back inside. Paul and Poseidon regarded each other warily for a second. Poseidon slowly turned to face his son, again to answer his question.

"Well, I think the pastor talked too much about forgiveness," Sally answered instead. "Some people shouldn't be forgiven."

Percy nearly choked as the water he'd been drinking went down the wrong pipe. Poseidon jerked back as if he'd been slapped. Even, Paul stared at his wife in shock and awe.

"I don't need forgiveness," Poseidon said hesitantly, "just a little understanding."

Paul stepped in, "You know what I don't understand is how in the hell a brilliant, young man like our Percy came from such a narcissistic, piece of…"

Percy stood up so quickly his chair fell over. The adults turned to look at him in confusion as Percy struggled to find something to break the tension in the room. He wasn't even sure why he was coming to Poseidon's rescue, he didn't feel any connection to him or anything, but he felt compelled to save the man from Paul's tirade.

"Hey! Why don't we go into the living room and get to know each other?" Percy proposed. They quickly made their way out of the kitchen and away from the growing tension that was suffocating them. Each of them breathed out a sigh of relief once the kitchen door swung shut. Poseidon gave his son a grateful smile but Percy ignored it, making his way to the couch.

"So, what is it that you want anyways?" Percy asked blandly. "You've been gone for seventeen years. What made you suddenly want to be a father?"

Poseidon sat down on the other side of the couch. "Honestly? I didn't know you existed until last year. My brother, Zeus, told me in a letter. Hid it in the middle of a paragraph where I would have missed it if I had just skimmed it. I don't know what your mother's told you but I really just want to try and be in your life."

"And you want my mom to take you back, right?" Percy deadpanned.

His father laughed. "Oh, goodness, no. I loved her once, still do. However, I know she's better off with that man in there. He can give her a stable life and he won't be off at sea for long months. And I'm not here to steal you away from your mother either, so calm down, kid."

"You," Percy paused to collect his thoughts. "Wait, you really just want to get to know me?"

Poseidon nodded with a toothy smile.

Percy noticed the laugh lines around his father's sea-green eyes for the first time.

"Alright," Percy laughed in relief. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

(***)

A few hours later, Percy found his stepfather standing in the garage messing with a his tools.

"Hey, dad," Percy started.

Paul leaped in the air before banging a hammer on a paint can awkwardly in an attempt to hide his surprise. "Whoa! Percy, don't sneak up on a person when they're doing…" He stopped to think before banging on the can a few more times, "this."

"He doesn't want custody of me," Percy said. "Mayor Zeus just told him about me a year ago, so he just wants to get to know me."

His stepfather breathed out a sigh of relief and Percy could see the tension drain from his shoulders. Percy turned to head back into the house but paused when he noticed that Paul hadn't moved.

"You coming back inside?" Percy asked.

"Perce, I love you and your mother," Paul explained, "but I cannot talk to or spend time with that man in there."

Percy laughed. "Yeah, I've noticed."

(***)

In the basement, Nico dictated the essay while Annabeth wrote in Percy's notebook.

"'...with their sugar coated ideals, designed to anesthetize the ignorant masses. Why? So, that the military/corporate branches, can carry out world domination.' Alright, read that back to me."

He sat down as he waited for Annabeth to read the paper.

She cleared her throat dramatically. "Wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh. Wuhwuh, wuh wuhwuh."

"How did you not get that?" Nico complained.

"Let's just use an encyclopedia," Annabeth said.

Nico stubbornly crossed his arms. "You just want to vomit up facts from an encyclopedia?" Annabeth nodded. "Okay, fine. Vomit away, but I will not be a part of this." He turned his attention back to the television.

Sally came running downstairs looking for Percy, when she saw Annabeth, though, she let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, Annabeth, wonderful! Why don't you come up and eat with us, I need all the help I can get." Nico started to get up but Sally motioned for him to sit back down. "Not you, Nico, you scare people."

"Lucky bastard," Annabeth whispered as she passed him.

"What am I supposed to eat?" Nico asked.

Sally paused in her attempt to go up the stairs. "Oh, um, I know! Help yourself to the deep freeze!" With those helpful words she raced upstairs.

"But everything's frozen," Nico complained glumly to the now empty basement. Then he smiled evilly, "And I have the dryer."

(***)

The dining room table was full of animated conversation from Percy and his father when Annabeth and Sally joined them. Paul was sitting at the head of the table listening in with reluctant interest.

"So, there I was in the middle of the Parthenon, my pants are missing, I've got a half eaten gyro, and I'm soaking wet," Poseidon was saying. "Oh, good evening, ladies," he said quickly as he leaned across the table to whisper to Percy, "We'll finish that story later."

Annabeth glanced at Percy for more information on what had just happened but he was too busy watching Poseidon with rapt attention.

"Glad to see you two are getting along," Sally laughed nervously.

Percy and Poseidon shared a guilty look.

"Mom, Poseidon's only here to get to know me."

Sally's gaze shifted from Poseidon to her son and back. "You knew I was worried and scared and you didn't say anything?"

Percy and Poseidon stifled their laughter as they both started calming Sally down.

"This is some amazing shrimp and lobster chowder," Poseidon tried.

"Yeah, mom," Percy started. "Did you do something to your hair?"

Sally sat up a little straighter and finally smiled. "Yes, I did, thank you for noticing."

Poseidon gave him a subtle thumbs up and looked genuinely impressed at his son's quick thinking.

"So, who is this?" Poseidon nodded towards Annabeth.

"This is Annabeth Chase, she lives next door," Percy explained.

Annabeth watched Percy out of the corner of her eye as she said, "I was helping Seaweed Brain, here, with his essay. It's about the three branches of government. Could you help?"

Percy groaned.

(***)

Annabeth found her way back to the basement and found Nico sitting on the dryer just before it beeped. She watched him hop off the dryer and pull out a bag of fries from it.

"Fry time," Nico muttered to himself. He winced as he fumbled with the hot bag of fries.

Before Annabeth could even question what the little anarchist was up to, the door to the basement swung open and Will strolled in holding a couple pages in his hands. Leo was right behind him with his hair mussed up and his shirt on inside out.

Looking between the weird couple and Nico, Annabeth tried to decide which one to start with. "Okay, where have you two been?"

"Uh, we had to look for the paper. And then some stuff happened," Leo explained.

"Your shirt's on inside out," Nico pointed out.

"Yeah," Leo agreed, "that's the stuff."

Will elbowed his boyfriend in the ribs. "Hush, Leo. Anyways, we found the paper."

"Oh, we don't need that anymore, Poseidon's helping Percy with the paper," Annabeth explained casually. "He's in the Navy so he should know more about the government than we do."

Nico scoffed.

Will shrugged. "Okay, I'll go put this back up I guess?"

As Will meandered back out the door, Nico leaned towards Leo. "You can break up with that nerd now."

"I'm so sick of everybody trying to tear me and Will apart!" Leo complained.

"You moron!" Nico shouted. "Every day you say you're breaking up with him!"

Leo took his shirt off and flipped it inside out. "Well, you guys don't know him like I do." He looked down when Annabeth and Nico snickered. On his chest, he saw a large, purple hickey which he tried to cover up with his hand. "I mean, it's not just about fooling around. He buys me stuff, too."

"He hoovered your chest, man!" Nico laughed.

Percy came down to grab his notebook but paused when he saw the page. "You guys know my middle name is not Jean Claude, right?"

"Yeah, but it's two fewer words you'll need to write," Nico explained.

With a chuckle, Percy bounded back up the stairs, notebook in hand.

Jason and Reyna entered the basement.

"Hey, how's the essay coming along?" Jason asked. "If you still need help, I brought my dad's World Book G."

Annabeth started to explain the situation again when Sally stomped down the stairs.

"Alright," she huffed. "You all, listen up. I have had an extremely stressful day and I am not proud of what I'm about to say. But someone give me a cigarette now."

Everyone stared uneasily at Percy's mother and no one moved.

"I know the statistics: one in five teenagers smoke." She pointed to each one of them in turn and counted them. "One, two, three, four, five! Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there had better be a cigarette between these two fingers! Come on people, hop to!"

She held two fingers up and closed her eyes. A second later, Nico placed a cigarette between her fingers.

"Thank you," Sally says. "Light!"

All of them leaned over to offer their lighters.

Before she could take a drag from her cigarette, though, Paul descended the stairs shouting Sally's name. Sally handed the cigarette to Jason who tossed it out the basement door.

Paul paused on the last step and looked around suspiciously. "Was someone smoking down here?"

"No," they all answered at once.

(***)

Later that night, Percy was downstairs finishing off the paper he'd worked on with his father. He only had one hundred words left when his mother came downstairs with concern etched into every inch of her face.

"Honey?" she said. "What are you doing? It's one o'clock in the morning."

"I'm just finishing up some homework." He turns the question on her, "What are you doing down here?"

She smiled sadly. "Snow White came down to gun a stick?"

She pulled a cigarette out of a pocket in her robe and lit it before taking a deep drag from it.

"Mom, I really wish you wouldn't smoke."

"I know. I know," she agreed. "This is my last one, I promise. And thank you for your help with your father today."

Percy sat quietly for a moment, gathering the courage to ask a question that he had been dying to ask. "Why did you not tell Poseidon about me?"

She sighed before sitting hesitantly on the edge of the couch. "He was always off at sea, he'd fought in wars and I never knew if he was coming back. I knew if I told him, he'd stay but he belongs at sea. I couldn't have done that to him, you know? So, we stopped seeing one another, I met Paul a few years later and I never looked back."

"Did you ever regret leaving him?"

There was distant look in her eyes as she thought about it, it was the same look she got whenever she thought of Poseidon. "Sometimes, yeah. But I know I made the right decision for both of us."

Percy hugged his mother tightly as she reminisced.


	6. Percy's Burger Job

The gang was hanging out in the basement, Will was swaying to a song he'd happily listened to over seven times. As the song came to an end, Will wandered back over to the cassette player.

"Oh, oh, I just wanna hear the guitar solo one more time," Will chirped.

Nico threw a crushed Coca-Cola can at the blond and managed to hit him in the back. "Not again. Use the headphones." Will made a face at him but did as he was told. "Good, now wrap the cord around your neck."

On the couch, Percy and Jason were going over a newspaper's classified ads looking for Percy a job.

"Would you guys respect me if I worked in the town dump?" Percy asked even as he crossed the listing off with red pen.

Annabeth leaned over his shoulder to read the listings. "The town dump? No. Now, the state dump…"

"Why are you looking for a job?" Piper asked from her perch on the dryer.

"Everything costs money. Gas, clothes, fun," Percy explained.

Leo added, "Dates. Dates cost money."

Frank waved him off. "No, Leo, that is prostitution."

"Dating is prostitution, man. Only you don't always get what you pay for," Nico explained as he slouched further in his seat.

"Said the man who's never dated," Annabeth joked.

Percy shot out of his chair and hid his face quickly with the newspaper as he began pacing around the table. The rest of the gang watched him in utter confusion, except Nico who looked ready to kill him.

"I dated Eli, the biker dude, remember?" Nico argued.

"What happened to him, anyways?" Jason asked, choosing to ignore Percy for the moment.

Nico shrugged. "He's dating my uncle."

Annabeth shook her head as she headed towards the basement door. "Well, I'm heading home for dinner. Oh, by the way, Mom and Dad are going to the Playboy Club at Lake Geneva. Do you guys want souvenirs?"

"An ashtray," Nico answered immediately, having relaxed as no one questioned Percy's obvious anxiety.

"A girlfriend for Frank," Leo joked as Frank blushed profusely.

Hazel slapped Leo upside the head before saying, "Leave him alone. And your parents are going to be out of town?"

Annabeth nodded, trying in earnest to get Percy to realize what she was hinting at but he was busy ignoring everybody. "Yeah. I'll be babysitting Leo's brother Harley all weekend. Just me, alone, watching T.V. I might order a pizza." She leaned suggestively towards Percy.

"Careful, Harley may set your house on fire or make chainsaws out of your silverware if you're not watching him constantly," Leo told her calmly. "Happens all the time at home. Between him and Beckendorf, we can't keep any metal in the house anymore. Which sucks because I need metal for my projects."

Will gave Annabeth a serious nod before adding, "But it'd probably be helpful if someone were there to watch him with her, wouldn't it?"

He nudged Percy who mumbled something about the town dump.

"We could have a party!" Jason said ignoring Annabeth and Will's hints. "A toga party!"

Piper shoved at her boyfriend's shoulder but he just gave her a baffled look in return.

"Yeah, I'll bring the beer," Nico said just to make the situation worse.

Annabeth groaned. "Yeah, fine. Seaweed Brain, are you gonna be there?"

Without looking up, Percy agreed absently.

She threw her hands up in the air before storming out of the basement. As soon as the door closed, Piper slapped Jason and Percy's arms.

"You're both idiots!" she declared. She was answered with matching blank stares. "I'm not explaining it, you're just going to have to figure this out on your own."

With that she stormed out after Annabeth.

The two boys turned to Nico for an explanation. The Italian shrugged. "I hate to say it, but I agree with the beauty queen. You're both stupid." Before they could argue, he slowly and carefully explained as if he were talking to toddlers, "Annabeth just put on the full court press, dude, and you dropped the ball."

Hazel crossed her arms and glared accusingly at Nico. "You didn't exactly help, either, Di Angelo."

He ignored her quip, choosing to watch for realization to dawn on Percy's face.

"What are you talking about? All she said was that she'd be alone on Saturday night with a pizza?" Percy dropped the newspaper he'd been holding as realization hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh. Oh. Oh god! I'm such an idiot!"

(***)

Poseidon found himself sitting in a corner booth of the Big House feeling extremely out of place among the many teenagers coming and going. He had received a call from Percy asking to meet up at this diner. So far, Percy was running ten minutes late and Poseidon was debating on whether or not he should report his son missing or keep waiting.

Just before Poseidon gave in to his fatherly concern and called the cops, Percy came stumbling into the Hub looking more disheveled than normal.

"Hey… Man… Uh, Mister…? Um… You," Percy huffed between each word as he struggled to catch his breath. "Sorry… had to... save Leo… He set… himself… on fire… again."

"Leo's the Hispanic kid, right? Always covered in grease?" Percy nodded. "Yeah, his dad was banned from wood shop after he burned the workshop down, twice, in high school. Arson must be a genetic thing in their family."

Percy's eyes widened and he barked out a laugh. "You're kidding! Leo got banned from workshop for the same thing freshman year!"

The two started laughing as Percy took a seat.

Seconds ticked by as the two sat in an uncomfortable silence as Poseidon wondered why Percy was being so twitchy and Percy gathered his thoughts.

"Okay," Percy said at last, "the guys and I were thinking about getting jobs."

Poseidon blinked. He didn't know what he'd been expecting his son to say but it sure hadn't been that. "Uh, okay?"

Percy ran a hand nervously through his hair, a nervous habit he'd learned from his mother. "No, I… Okay, there's a job opening up at the new Acte's Burgers. Which is owned by Pontus who you mentioned the other day was an old war buddy and I thought…"

"You thought I might pull some strings to get him to hire you, right?" Poseidon finished for him. Percy smiled as innocently as he could manage. "What does your mother think of you working?"

Silence.

"Ah," Poseidon sighed.

Percy rolled his eyes and slumped down in the booth. "No, it's not like that. I haven't talked to her about it, yet, because I know she'll just start crying about how I'm leaving her all alone. Then Paul will say something reassuring and mom will take it out of context and then I'll be in the middle of a domestic squabble."

They sat in silence for a few more seconds before Poseidon gave in. "I'll talk to Pontus, but if your mother asks…"

Percy sat up straight while a smile spread from ear-to-ear. "Really?"

"Yeah," Poseidon chuckled. "But don't make it a habit to call me only when you need something, alright?"

(***)

Nico was sprawled out on his favorite chair when Annabeth came storming in. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and her gray eyes were furious.

"You look so excited for your big party Saturday night," Nico snarked.

She huffed angrily as she plopped onto the couch.

Nico shook his head. "I cannot believe Jackson missed all those signals."

At that, Annabeth blushed and her anger immediately morphed into denial as she spluttered. "What? Signals? I don't know what you're talking about, Di Angelo."

In a falsetto voice, Nico teased, "Oh no, poor me! All alone in my big house: just me and my nightie. If only there was some scrawny, little neighbor boy here to keep me company!" He continued in his normal voice, "Yeah, that could've meant anything."

"He's not scrawny," Annabeth argued weakly. "Why am I even talking to you?"

Nico shrugged. He really didn't know why she didn't just go talk to one of her girlfriends but he never gave up a chance to screw with people. Annabeth laid down on the couch like a psychiatrist's patient.

"Everyone knows," Annabeth complained.

With a pencil in hand and a magazine, Nico acted like a dutiful shrink. "'Fraid so."

"I just wanted to spend time with him, you know? Alone. And now I can't!" she continued.

The sound of a pencil scribbling on paper followed her statement. "How does that make you feel?" Nico asked with faux concern.

Unaware of the subtle teasing, Annabeth kept going, "Frustrated! It's frustrating as hell! I mean I really put myself out there and he completely ignored me! Is he that freaking stupid?"

"Hmm, interesting," Nico said gravelly. "And do you have trouble sleeping at night?"

Annabeth's eyes widened in amazement. "Yeah, yeah I do."

Nico nodded solemnly before continuing his questioning. "Do you think you would sleep better if you had a scrawny, little neighbor boy up next to you?"

The look she shot him only caused him to double over in laughter.

(***)

"Okay, let's hear it," Poseidon ordered as they stood in the Jackson's living room.

Sally was folding laundry on the couch, silently watching the father and son go over how to give a proper interview.

Stepping up to his father, Percy held out his hand, "Hello, my name is Percy Jackson."

His father shook his head sternly and released his hand quickly. "No, no, no. Not with a loose hand. Stay firm! Not like a fish. Try again."

Percy tried again but his father cut him off again.

"No, step into it. Stand up straight."

With a slight twitch to the corner of his lips, Percy said, "Straight up and hold the fish."

Poseidon gave him a stern glare which hushed Percy immediately. "Don't be a smartmouth."

"Yes, sir." Percy stood up straighter and gripped the offered hand firmly. "Hello, my name is Percy Jackson."

"And?"

"And… uh…"

Sally clapped. "Oh, tell them about your junior achievement experience."

"Oh, they don't give a rat's ass about that," Poseidon grumbled. A second later he added, "Forgive my language."

She waved him away absentmindedly. "Well, what about your honorable mention from the science fair?" Before Poseidon could repeat himself, she sighed, "Right, rat's ass."

Paul came down the stairs, his gait stalled for a moment near the foot of the stairs. There was an awkward and tense moment as he took in the scene in his living room. Once he made it completely down the stairs he greeted Poseidon stiffly.

Before the tension could increase, Percy began to explain, "Dad, Poseidon offered to teach me what to say to Pontus when I go to interview for that job at the new Acte's Burgers."

"You could've just asked me, son," Paul said.

"Yeah, I know," Percy said with a shrug. "But, I figured since Poseidon knows the owner, he might be able to give me a few hints on how to win him over. If it were any other job, I'd have gone to you."

He pretended not to notice the way Poseidon winced at that. Percy was trying to give his biological father a chance but he knew without a doubt that he would never see Poseidon as a real father, not in the way Paul was.

The tension in the air shifted, as Paul happily gave him a few pointers as he headed to the kitchen. At least Paul was satisfied with the truth. Poseidon's stiff shoulders and guarded expression, however, told Percy that they needed to have a serious heart-to-heart.

(***)

Acte's Burger Interviewing Q and A:

Q: Why do you want a career at Acte's Burger?

Leo: Money.

Nico: To unionize the workers, man.

Percy: I think it would be a wonderful experience.

Frank: I love the uniforms.

Q: What do you consider your best quality?

Percy: I'm a real people person.

Nico: I don't answer stupid questions.

Frank: I speak French.

Leo: My eyes. And my butt.

Q: Name something about yourself that you consider to be a weakness.

Frank: I love chocolate.

Leo: I'm a fire hazard.

Nico: I'm brutally honest, Pinhead.

Percy: I allow people to boss me around.

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Percy: Acte's Burger.

Frank: Hopefully not being deported.

Leo: Rock star.

Nico: Prison.

(***)

Voices could be heard coming from the Chase's backyard as Percy made his way over hoping to fix his earlier mistake. Hopefully Annabeth's offer was still on the table and he wouldn't have to beg for her forgiveness. He paused, one foot hovering over the ground as he thought about Annabeth just forgiving him. Nah, he was going to have to beg or she'd dropkick him back over her fence.

From outside the Chase's fence, he overheard Fred and Marybai Chase instructing their daughter on how to behave. The usual: no parties, no boys. Percy hoped he could be an exception to that rule.

"You have a responsibility, Annabeth, to watch Harley Valdez," Marybai was saying. "You promised his parents that you could handle him."

Fred waved his hand in the air. "Yeah, yeah. But most importantly, no boys. They only want one thing and it is a dirty, dirty thing." He glanced over when Percy entered their backyard and he smiled happily. "Looking sharp, Perce. You gonna be around this weekend?"

Percy furrowed his brow as he tried to decide whether he should answer honestly or not. "Yes, sir."

"Good," Fred said, slapping him on the back. "Make sure no guys are hanging around Annabeth. Capisce?"

As Percy contemplated whether or not he should be offended by that, Fred and Marybai went back inside their house, leaving Percy alone with Annabeth. He turned to her with a sheepish smile and a timid shrug of his shoulders.

"So," he hedged. "I got the job. Not that the guys put up much of a competition."

Annabeth just stared at him, unblinking. He swallowed thickly, fighting the urge to squirm under her gaze.

"I work Saturday night, so I'll probably miss your party," Percy explained. "But, if you want I could swing by after work. It'll probably be after everyone's left, though."

Gray eyes shifted away from his face as Annabeth pursed her lips in thought. When those eyes shifted back to meet his sea-green eyes, they were filled with hesitant excitement. "Well, um, you know... If I'm still up I can leave the light on for you."

The lopsided grin that crossed his face caused Annabeth to smile a small smile.

"Sounds good. Yeah," she said as she struggled to keep her smile from getting any bigger.

She made her way to her back door while Percy slowly made his way back to his house.

(***)

It didn't take Percy long to find out that having a job meant having no social life.

On Monday, Annabeth had asked him to hang out with her at the reservoir. He'd answered, "Nope, I gotta work."

On Tuesday, Annabeth invited him to meet up with everyone at the Big House. He'd answered, "Nope, I gotta work."

On Wednesday, Annabeth proposed that they go to the movies. He'd answered, once again, "Nope, I gotta work."

On Thursday, Annabeth told him that she got a new bikini that she wanted to model for him. He'd regretfully answered, "Nope, I gotta go to work."

Now, on Friday, he was mopping the floors at Acte's Burger. When the bell over the door rang, Percy prayed to every deity he could think of that they would just kill him now and save him from the embarrassment he knew was coming. He stood facing his friends who all wore matching shit-eating grins.

"Here, here," Nico announced loudly, "my minimum wage friend, I demand service!"

Percy fought the urge to beat his friend with the mop, knowing fully well that Nico would just kick his ass. Instead, he begrudgingly greeted them, "Welcome to Acte's Burger, how may I serve you?"

Jason leaned against the wall and shook his head sadly. "That is so pathetic, Burger Boy."

"That's Burger Man to you, sir," Percy corrected.

The blond chuckled as Leo and Will sat down at one of the nearby tables. "I just can't believe they didn't hire me," Leo was complaining. "Bet you it's 'cause I'm latino! Racist fuckers."

Will groaned as though he'd heard this same complaint all week. He probably had. Just before Nico could say anything mean and sarcastic to Leo, Will tried, "If you worked here, you wouldn't see me whenever I wanted you to, Lover."

Leo instantly forgot what he'd been angry about and leaned over to kiss his boyfriend. When he turned to ask Reyna something, Will and Nico shared an exasperated look. Percy did a double-take. Since when were those two on the same page?

One look at Jason told him that he'd missed a lot in the one week he'd been away at work.

(***)

Saturday came and Annabeth found herself sitting in her backyard with Nico and Jason. Reyna had disappeared with Harley when he'd informed her that he could make some terrifying-looking armor for her two Russian wolfhounds, Argentum and Aurum. Piper and Hazel were lying on the ground a few feet away whispering to one another and occasionally pointing up at the sky.

A single voice started chanting "Toga! Toga! Toga!" as the owner of the voice entered the backyard.

The group turned their heads to find an embarrassed Will Solace following Leo who was dressing in nothing but a shower curtain. It was clear that Leo was already three sheets to the wind. In his hands was a case of beer.

"Man, you're supposed to get drunk at the party," Jason admonished. "What if a cop stopped you?" He paused. "Wait, how the hell did the cops not stop you?"

Will threw his hands up in the air. "I know right? He's been shouting 'toga' at the top of his lungs for the past hour! Either everyone in this podunk town is deaf or we have some of the laziest cops, ever."

"Oh, yeah, our cops don't give a shit," Nico agreed as he grabbed a beer from Leo's six-pack.

Jason took the six-pack from Leo and tossed two to Hazel and Piper before taking one for himself. Annabeth leaned over and grabbed the last two. She held one out to Will who made a face at it.

Nico rolled his eyes. "Just drink, Sunshine."

"Do you know what alcohol does to your liver? It's toxic and…" Will started lecturing.

With a groan, Leo decided the only way to hush his boyfriend was to flop bodily onto him. The two of them went down before Will could get too far into his mantra. When the two finally untangled themselves and stood up, Nico shoved a beer into Will's hands.

"Do us all a favor and get wasted," Jason encouraged. "No offense, man."

They all opened their beers as Leo took off into the house in search of more alcohol. Will looked hesitantly at where Leo had disappeared to.

"I should really keep an eye on him," Will said even as he stayed in place.

"Or," Hazel suggested from where she was lying near his feet, "you can come make up constellations with me and Piper?"

Will shrugged as he took a seat.

The back door opened a few seconds later and a miniature Leo Valdez came running out with his hair on fire. Who the gang could only assume was Harley Valdez ran around shouting as Reyna slowly made her way out the door with a small bowl filled with water. As Harley ran by her, she grabbed a hold of his collar and dumped the bowl of water over his head.

Leo's laughter floated out after them as he made fun of his little brother.

"Being a Valdez and being on fire just go hand-in-hand. You should be used to it by now," Reyna admonished.

Harley pouted as he stomped back into the house.

"Why was Little Leo on fire?" Frank asked. He had silently entered the Chase's backyard while Harley had been on fire.

Nico and jason leaped a good foot in the air out of surprise. A few curses fell from Nico's mouth as he waited for his heartbeat to return to normal. Jason's hand had reared back in a fist ready to strike but, luckily for Frank, he relaxed when he saw who had surprised him.

The girls lying next to Will burst into giggles as Reyna snorted. Jason blushed as he quickly sat back down; Nico grumbled before sitting in a lawn chair facing the backyard entrance.

A few minutes pass as the group talked, before Annabeth huffed. "This party sucks."

Nico smirked. "You know what'll make you feel better? Scrawny, little neighbor boy. Why don't you take off; go see him. I'll watch the kids, huh?"

She smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Nico."

Jason belched before adding, "And don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't kill anyone."

"Thanks, Superman," Annabeth added with a laugh.

(***)

The bell over the door rang as Sally entered Acte's Burger. She saw her son smiling tiredly at the counter and knew it had been a good idea to stop by after her shift.

"Welcome to Acte's Burger, how may I serve you?" Percy said with a monotone.

Sally looked around. "Honey, it's me?"

"I know, I have to say that," Percy explained with a sigh.

She sat the bag in her hands down on one of the tables as she regarded her son sympathetically. "Oh, okay. I just got off and thought I'd bring you some nice hot soup. With oyster crackers!"

Percy leaned over the counter as he sighed in relief. "Oh, thank God, something to eat!"

"So, how's it going?"

"It's great," Percy said cheerfully.

She tried again, "So, how's it going?"

"It's terrible!" Percy whined. "I'm behind on homework and I think this polyester uniform is giving me a rash."

Sally tousled her son's hair affectionately before continuing, "I swept the driveway for you." As Percy started apologizing, she added, "Oh, hush. You know what? I'll do this, you take a seat and eat your soup." She started picking up garbage from one of the tables while Percy followed his mother's instructions. After a minute, she told him, "If you want to quit, honey, your father and I will understand."

Percy swallowed another bite of soup. "I can't just do that, not after I talked Poseidon into helping me get this job. He'll think I'm ungrateful or something."

"Oh, who cares what that salty, old sailor thinks? If he hates you for something as trivial as this then he's not worth your time, sweetheart," Sally advised. "Also, I'm going to kill him when I see him again for trying to make my baby grow up too fast."

Percy laughed just as Pontus came out of his office.

"Jackson, who said you were on break?" he shouted.

Sally stood up straight and put her hands on her hips. "I did."

"And who are you?"

"His mother," her tone was challenging.

Pontus immediately backtracked. "Good enough."

(***)

At Donna's party, Will finally managed to track down Leo who was now clad only in his underwear. He sighed heavily as he led Leo into an empty room where they could talk privately. The room seemed to be Fred and Marybai's, if the waterbed was anything to go by.

"Look, Leo," Will tried.

Leo interrupted him when he ran and bounced onto the waterbed. "Ahoy, Will, welcome aboard the U.S.S. Leo."

There was a tense moment as Will resisted the urge to smack himself. "Leo, sometimes I think you're a real screw up. One day, I want a house and kids and maybe a nice chandelier. But if you can't give me those things, Leo, then I think this," he gestured between them, "is a big waste of time."

He sat down to continue his spiel but he quickly stood back up again.

"Something feels wet," he said bluntly.

Leo furrowed his brow. "Um, you may want to have that looked at because that's not what a dick is supposed to…"

Will slapped his boyfriend. "No, you idiot, the waterbed is leaking. What on earth did you do to pop it?"

His boyfriend shrugged as he stood and ushered them out of the room. "Just don't say anything, I'm sure they won't notice."

"I'm dating a doofus."

"You love me, though," Leo said with a cocky smile.

Will just stared at him for a long moment.

Leo paused. "Right?"

"I'm thinking," Will said seriously.

(***)

When Annabeth finally made it to Acte's Burger, Sally had long since left and Percy was sure he was about to die of boredom.

"Wise Girl," Percy said, smiling. "I mean, welcome to Acte's Burger - aw, screw it. What are you doing here?"

She shrugged nonchalantly in response. "I was bored."

Percy smile was a bit lopsided. "You left your own party to come see me?"

"Wasn't much of a party without you there," Annabeth admitted before she had time to really think about what she was saying.

A beat of silence, then, "You're weird."

Annabeth threw a straw at him. "Shut up! Look, Seaweed Brain, the whole reason I told you my parents were going away was so that we could hang, together," she leaned in conspiratorially, "you know, alone."

"I know, Wise Girl," he stated. "I'm sorry, I would love to come over, but this is my job. It's work and work isn't fun, you know? And only quitters quit or something like that."

She nodded slowly and pursed her lips. "Okay, as long as you think it's important. See ya, Percy."

Hearing her use his real name made his heart constrict painfully in his chest. As she walked out the door and headed back home, Percy let his head hit the counter. He was so over this job.

(***)

Later that night, Percy found himself in the Chase's backyard staring at their back porch light that glowed like a beacon in the night. He hoped that Annabeth would forgive him for his recent string of stupid acts. If she called him Percy again, he was sure it would kill him.

His fist hovered over the door just as it opened. The light above them illuminated Fred Chase's face as he smiled down at Percy.

"Mr. Chase!" Percy said with forced cheerfulness. "You're home. How great."

Fred laughed. "Eh, came back early. Missed our baby girl too much. What are you doing here?"

Percy thought hastily for an excuse. "Oh, uh, I was just coming home from work and I noticed that someone left the porch light on." It wasn't exactly a lie.

"Can't even see that from your house," Fred said, looking impressed. "Good eye."

"Thanks?" Percy said. He was constantly baffled by how oblivious Mr. Chase could be, especially since the man was supposedly a professor. "Anyways, um, I'm gonna just go. Good night, then."

Mr. Chase stepped back and closed the door. A second later and the light shut off. Just as Percy was turning away, though, he heard the door swing open again. He turned to find Annabeth smiling at him. "Good night, Seaweed Brain."

"Good night, Wise Girl," he returned with a grin before heading back home.

(***)

When Percy entered his house, he found Paul sitting on the couch in the living room reading a magazine. They nodded towards each other by way of greeting one another.

"I'm quitting my job," Percy blurted out.

Paul looked up from his magazine again. "Alright."

"Shouldn't you say I'm a quitter? I'm irresponsible? I couldn't kill the cow with a hammer?"

"What?" Paul looked at him in bewilderment.

Percy stopped to think where he'd heard that last one. "Sorry, Poseidon was talking about his first job at a slaughterhouse." He shuddered. "Also, could we not eat any beef for awhile?"

"Everyone quits their first job, son," Paul explained. "It's no big deal."

With a shrug, Percy headed to the stairs with every intent of going to sleep but something made him pause. He turned back to face his stepfather. "Dad, you know Poseidon could never replace you, right? Like, I know he's my biological father and all… But I don't think I'll ever see him as my actual dad. You were the one that raised me and taught me everything I know, not him."

When he finished, he headed up the stairs only to pause halfway up when he heard Paul call after him, "Love you, Son."

"Love you, too, Dad."

Sally came out of the kitchen where she'd been eavesdropping. "Well, wasn't that sweet?"

Paul grunted. "Well, his job was starting to cut into his chores anyway. He did a half-assed job sweeping the driveway."

His head shot up when a dish towel smacked him in the face.

"I thought he did a wonderful job!" Sally said adamantly before stomping out of the room.

Percy slowly walked back down the stairs having heard his parent's conversation. "Dad, Mom swept the driveway for me."

"Oh, crap."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Acte was one of the Horae goddesses and is the goddess of eating and pleasure. It was the best I could do, sorry I know it was kind of stupid but whatever:P What'd y'all think of Harley? He'll probably show up again 'cause I think he's the cutest little psychopath:) Hope y'all enjoyed!


	7. The Kegger

Point Place, New York

Friday 1976, 1:15 p.m.

Point Place High School

The classroom was filled with boisterous conversation when Percy finally made it to class. He made his way to his desk behind Annabeth who already had her text book opened and pencil ready. She turned to him with a weary smile.

"Will this day ever end?" she asked him.

Percy blinked. "It's Friday, so... No."

He cringed as he heard a familiar voice barking orders behind him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Clarisse La Rue and her boyfriend Chris Rodriguez harassing some poor student. The look of annoyance on Annabeth's face mirrored the frustration Percy felt from just being in the same room as the intimidating couple.

"Oh, great," Percy mumbled. "It's Destroy and Give-Back."

Annabeth snorted. "Why do they call them that?"

As the two made their way down the aisle of desks towards them, Percy held his pencil up. A second later and his pencil was in Clarisse's hands. She effectively snapped the wooden pencil in two before handing it over to Chris who laughed as he handed it back over to Percy.

"I believe this is yours, Jackass." Then to Clarisse, he excitedly said, "You broke his pencil! That was great!"

"And you gave it back!" Clarisse said like it was the most amazing thing she'd ever seen.

They both laughed all the way back to their desks as Paul entered the classroom. "Alright, enough messing around. Pipe down, everyone," Paul ordered as he made his way to the front of the room. "I've got a few announcements to make before Study Hall can begin. And whatever you're about to ask, Percy, the answer is no."

Percy brought his hand back down to his desk and slumped into his chair to write a note to Annabeth in retaliation. Let's ditch Study Hall, he wrote.

"Whoever burned their initials in the football field, nice job," Paul was saying when Annabeth passed the note back.

It read: Are you crazy?! We can't ditch!

He resisted the urge to laugh at her innocence. Quickly, he passed the note back with just one question scrawled across the ripped paper: What, are you too chicken? He knew she would read a challenge in the question and if there was one thing he knew about Annabeth it was that she never chickened out.

Paul was droning on about some football games and social events coming up but Percy had long since learned how to tune Paul out.

The note was passed back and forth a couple more times, each message from Annabeth seemed to be on the verge of giving in. Then, Paul was standing over them with a knowing look on his face. Luckily, Annabeth reacted faster than him and had stealthily slid the note under her book.

"Percy? Annabeth?" Paul said accusingly. "Do you have something to do that's more important than studying?"

Before Percy could even think of a sarcastic comeback, Annabeth beat him to it. "Actually, we need to be excused. Percy and I are taking pictures for the yearbook."

Paul blinked a few times, probably trying to remember if his son was even in the yearbook club. A hesitant acceptance crossed his face as he chose to accept Annabeth's statement as fact. "If you say so, Annabeth. You wouldn't lie."

Percy stood and was making his way to the door but Annabeth froze with an indignant look on her face. "Well, I might," she said stubbornly.

The entire class started laughing at the ridiculousness of her statement. Even Paul was trying to pass his chuckles off as coughs. Percy finally grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her out of the classroom heading towards the parking lot before she blurted out where they were actually going.

Once they were seated in the front seat of the Vista Cruiser, Percy started the car and looked to Annabeth expectantly. "Where you wanna go?"

She shrugged looking a bit panicked.

"Annabeth Chase skips class, I'm so proud."

"Yeah, well, danger is my middle name," she said nervously.

They were a good mile from the school when Percy saw something moving in the rear view mirror. Suddenly, a hand landed on his shoulder and a just woken up Nico appeared in the backseat.

Nico glanced around, trying to remember where he was. "Why are we moving?"

"Neeks?" Percy cried which earned him a swift punch in the arm. "Ow!"

"Don't call me that!"

Leo shot up from the backseat wiping sleep out of his eyes. "Mommy?" he slurred.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Percy asked.

Nico asked them the same thing to which Percy proudly explained how he had convinced Annabeth to ditch class. The pair of eyes in the rear view mirror stared at him with nothing but skepticism.

"No, seriously, was there like a fire drill or something?" Nico tried again.

Annabeth huffed indignantly. "I do bad things!" Everyone laughed in response. "I've done bad things before!" They all stared at her expectantly as she gestured vaguely at the air around her. "Just because I can't think of anything right now doesn't prove anything, okay?"

Without warning, Leo grabbed at Percy's head. "Watch out for that keg in the middle of the road!"

"Get your hands out of my face!" Percy yelled back.

Annabeth gripped his arm that was closest to him. "Seaweed Brain, look out for that keg!"

The Vista Cruiser turned quickly to avoid the keg that was sitting in the center of the road. When the car finally came to a harsh stop it was parallel to the keg so that the four teenagers could lean out of the left side windows to view the keg in all its glory. Later, Percy would swear that the keg was actually glowing and the angels sang from above.

"That's a keg," Percy stated dumbly.

Leo added helpfully, "Of beer."

In awe, Nico said, "It must be a sign."

"Of beer," Leo repeated.

Annabeth scoffed. "Oh, that's it. I'm cutting class every day."

(***)

A few hours later and they were sitting around the keg in the Jackson's basement with Frank, Jason, and Will. It sat in the old shower that's only purpose nowadays was to hide their alcohol. They had tried to get a hold of the rest of their group but Piper had been grounded for possibly stealing a car, Reyna told them they were dumbasses and that she'd bail them out of jail later, and Hazel was out of town with her mother.

Frank reverently placed his hand on the keg before asking, "Where did you find it?"

"We were driving down the road, man, and there she was!" Nico explained in awe. He still couldn't believe their luck. This was the kind of stuff that only happened in movies, not in Point Place.

"So, in other words," Frank said, barely containing his snickering, "it was a… beer in the headlights?"

With a smirk and a shake of his head, Percy chose to ignore Frank's attempts at joking. "I mean, how often do you find a mysterious keg of free beer?"

"Only once in awhile," Leo answered which garnered him a few weird looks.

Nico clapped Percy on the back with a smile. "Right you are, Jackson. Right you are. When the heavens give you a keg, you gotta…"

He was cut off when Frank blurted out, "Kill a virgin."

Jason hesitantly patted his foreign friend's head as he patiently explained, "No, Frank. We throw a party."

Annabeth's face lit up with excitement. "Oh, yes! We have to!"

Leo sat down on the arm of the chair with his chin resting on his fist. In a monotone, he thought aloud, "Two bucks a head. A keg is equivalent to seven cases, that's 168 beers, if we each drink three beers a piece - "

"No way," Nico said standing next to him, staring intently at the ceiling as he processed the numbers in his head. "Sophomore's gonna drink one, tops."

"True."

Nico continued, "And the freshman's only gonna drink half."

Eyes narrowed in concentration, Leo calculated quickly. "So, that averages out to one point five beers per person, which means we can invite 112 people, and that's 224 bucks."

Will stared at his boyfriend in amazement. "Why can't you do that in math?"

"Pfft, 'cause this matters," Leo said like it was obvious.

Percy and Annabeth left to grab a tub and red plastic cups for the party. The rest of the group stood around their new found treasure with varying degrees of awe and reverence. Will, however, was staring at the keg like it was a puzzle that needed to be solved. Scoffing, Nico nudged Leo. "He doesn't know what a keg is," he whispered to Leo. "Seriously? Why're you dating this loser?"

"He's easy on the eyes," Leo answered with a suggestive smile.

Nico rolled his eyes just as they heard footsteps descending the stairs. Jason and Frank threw the shower curtain closed as fast as they could just before Sally made it to the landing of the staircase. She greeted them happily as she went to start a load of laundry. If she thought they looked suspicious kneeling around the basement's shower, she didn't say anything.

"Oh, don't mind me, kiddos," she laughed. "Just cleaning some clothes real quick. What are you kids up to?" The teenagers mumbled out a wide range of different answers. "Oh, you crazy kids and your little shenanigans." She looked up when Percy came from one of the back rooms of the basement carrying a large tub. "Hey, Snigglefritz, what are you doing with the tub?"

Percy jumped back and looked to his friends for help. They just stared at him with wide expectant eyes.

"Oh, the tub?" Percy stalled. "Um, we were just, uh, working on a class project."

Jason stepped forward with a bag of ice he'd grabbed from the deep freeze. "We're making a volcano. Right, Snigglefritz?"

She smiled at them, "Out of ice? Well, I think it might melt!"

The gang laughed a little too enthusiastically as Nico quickly added, "You heard her, let's move it gang!"

Annabeth came running back in the door just as Sally made it to the top of the stairs. The gang was still smiling and waving after Percy's mother just in case she decided to make her way back down. Once they were certain that she wasn't coming back down for awhile, they finally turned to a confused Annabeth.

"We need to get that keg out of here," Percy said.

"But, where are we having the party?" Annabeth questioned.

Leo deflated as he failed to think of an answer to the pertinent question. Beside him, Will looked thoughtful for a second before snapping his fingers. "I know!" Everyone turned to him with high hopes. "There's this vacant house over on Sherman my mom's been trying to sell for awhile. It's totally private and you can get away with almost anything there. There's even an empty pool for everyone to hang out in."

There was a second of silence before Nico declared, "Alright, Leo, you're out. Will, congrats, you're in."

A blush spread across Will's face at Nico's words.

(***)

Paul was seriously regretting agreeing to hanging out with the Chases and Poseidon at the same time. Sally and Percy had convinced him that he and Poseidon should get along or at least be cordial with one another. For whatever reason, Sally had thought that having the Chases over would make the whole thing better - so far, it was just annoying.

The television was playing some show that Marybai had chosen and she seemed to be the only one paying any attention to it. Sally and Fred kept eyeing the bar. Sitting in the chair directly ahead of Paul's recliner was Poseidon who was staring blankly at the TV.

"I'm just so excited for Rich Man, Poor Man," Sally feigned excitement as she giggled forcefully and patted Paul's knee. "I missed the first episode."

Marybai leaned towards Sally as if to confide a secret with her. "Here's the irony of the show, Sally: the rich, safe guy is boring; the poor, rugged one - played by the very talented Nick Nolte - is exciting!"

"Super," Sally said with a forced smile. "Now, who would like a drink?"

"Oh, let's do daiquiris, huh?" Fred suggested.

Sally shook her head. "No, I don't think we have enough ice, Percy took a whole tub full."

Poseidon's head shot up and he locked eyes with Paul. With that one look they knew they were on the same page.

"He took a tub of ice?" Paul asked pointedly.

His wife nodded cheerfully. "Oh, the kids are making a volcano!" She laughed.

Marybai smiled at him and nodded, as well. "Right, that's why Annabeth left with all the plastic cups."

"Plastic cups?" Poseidon repeated. He and Paul shared another look.

Fred smiled absently as he added, "If I didn't know better, I'd say they were having a kegger." He glanced at Paul, then Poseidon, and his smile fell. "Oh, geeze."

"Let's go, Fred," Paul ordered and the three men left the room to find their children.

As soon as they left, Marybai pulled a box of tissues towards her and placed them in her lap with a small sniffle. "Oh, Rich Man, Poor Man. I love it. I just hope I don't get too emotional," she lamented.

Sally looked longingly at the door, wishing she could follow the men before sighing in disappointment. Why did she always get stuck with the emotionally unstable ones to entertain? "Oh, so do I."

Meanwhile, Paul and his two guests were driving down the road and scanning for the Vista Cruiser. Fred was leaning up from the backseat so that his head poked into the front seat between Paul and Poseidon. He'd been rambling on about the search for their children ever since they left.

"Those kids could be anywhere," he said hopelessly. "Needle in a haystack."

Paul resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he pointed out, "They left the house in a wood-paneled ocean liner. They won't be that hard to spot."

A glance to his right showed that Poseidon was ignoring them, eyes focused on the driveways they passed.

"Yep," Fred continued, effectively ignoring everything Paul had said, "it's a real asphalt jungle. The sun goes down, the rats come out. Someone stole my mailbox last year. You know what it is?" He glanced between the two men in front of him before answering his own question, "The evil spilling over from Hoboken. How many stories do you suppose there are in this 'berg?"

Paul couldn't stop the roll of his eyes this time. "Eight, Fred. There are eight."

He heard Poseidon snort from the passenger side and Fred finally leaned back with a huff.

(***)

The empty pool was deep and wide, giving the group more than enough room to throw a party. They had already invited everyone they could think of and were hanging around until people started showing up.

"Empty pool, empty house, full keg," Percy said to Annabeth. "You sure know how to show a guy a good time."

She laughed her I-Can't-Believe-This-Idiot laugh. "Yeah, well, I don't color outside the lines often. But when I do, watch out!"

They both turned when they heard Nico shouting something behind them. At the edge of the pool above them, Frank sat looking nervously down at them with his legs swinging. Nico glared up at the foreigner with his hands on his hips.

"I don't care when you ate, Frank," Nico yelled, "get in the pool, now!"

Frank pointed a finger at Nico and declared, "If I get a cramp, it will be on your head", before climbing down the ladder.

"So, who all's coming?" Will asked eagerly.

Jason sat on the keg before answering. "Everyone."

"Everyone?" Will questioned, looking for a more definite answer.

"Everybody who matters. And, for the first time, Solace, that includes you," Nico said snidely. Instead of getting angry, Will just stuck his tongue out at Nico who scoffed in response. "Alright, let's drink!"

Leo shot forward with a manic gleam in his eyes at the suggestion. "Me first!"

Annabeth shoved him out of her way. "No way! I spotted it."

"Nah, I saw it, too," Leo argued. "I just didn't say anything."

Jason pointed accusingly at the Latino. "You saw a keg and didn't say anything? Back of the line!"

Instead of actually moving away, Percy ran up and shoved Leo out of the way in his excitement. "Alright, how do we get the beer out?"

"Through the tap," Nico answered.

They stared at the keg for a long second before they noticed that there was no tap. In unison, they groaned in frustration. All this effort and they had forgotten the tap. Now they were going to have to explain to the hundred teenagers they'd invited why there was no beer to drink.

Nico fell to his knees, clutching the keg, "NOOOOOOOO!"

The rest of the group backed away to give their friend a moment to collect himself. It didn't take long, since a minute later, Nico was standing up with a dangerous glint in his dark eyes.

"We seriously need a tap here," he said, stating the obvious.

Leo fumbled around in his ever-present tool belt and pulled out a Swiss army knife. He held it up like a winning trophy for the unimpressed group to see.

Nico punched his arm. "Brilliant, we can whittle the beer out. Moron."

Before the two could start an all-out brawl, Jason stepped between them and reminded them that they could buy a tap at the liquor store. Everyone sighed in relief until Nico pointed out the one flaw in that plan: they were all broke.

Hesitantly, one hand raised to quietly gain the group's attention. All eyes turned to face the owner of the raised arm. "I have the money," Will mumbled quietly, nervous from having so many people looking at him.

"I know Neeks was joking earlier," Jason started. "But, Will, you are totally part of this gang now."

A small smile lit up Will's face as he hurriedly climbed back out of the pool to go in search of the much needed tap. Moments after he disappeared, two sophomores climbed into the pool and were quickly greeted by Frank.

"Welcome to the pool. I am your host, Frank." He held his hand out to the underclassmen, "Two dollars, please."

While Frank continued taking money from the various people that started entering the pool, Annabeth started joking around with Jason as they stood over the keg. Nico and Percy climbed out of the pool to sit on the edge as Frank had done earlier. Their legs swinging out over the side, Nico glanced over at Percy.

"Will's being cool, man, I'm the cool one."

Percy shook his head.

Nico bumped his shoulder against Percy's to get his attention. "Seems to me that the saucy blonde is willing to engage in criminal acts for that scrawny, little neighbor boy next door."

"Shut up," Percy bumped him back. "How do you know she's not doing this to impress her friends? You know, peer pressure."

"Because her friends aren't scrawny, little neighbor boys," Nico snarked.

Percy chuckled. "Leo's scrawny and little."

"Leo? Scrawny?" Nico said incredulously. "No, no, no. Leo's pathetic and little."

With a shake of his head and a playful shove, Percy pushed away from his friend and went to mingle with the new arrivals. Nico watched bitterly as Percy talked happily with Annabeth.

(***)

The liquor store was only a twenty minute walk out from the empty house on Sherman and Will made it there with no problem. Stepping inside, he took note of the middle-aged liquor store employee standing behind the counter. He nodded nervously at the guy as he perused the many selections of alcohol.

In a deep voice, he conversed with the guy at the counter. "I see you got some new 'steins here."

The guy simply nodded in reply.

Will made his up to the counter with as much confidence as he could muster. "Hi, I'm twenty-five. I know, I look young." He rubbed his chin. "But, uh, my dad asked me to come down here and pick up a tap for his keg. He's forty-three, so we're both legal, no problem there. And, uh, I'm not going to be drinking the beer or anything, 'cause I don't believe in it. No offense, I think selling liquor is a great thing -"

He knew he was rambling but he didn't really think he could stop on his own. When the guy at the counter reached under the counter and placed the tap on the counter, Will was eternally grateful.

"Here you go," the guy replied.

"Because I'm twenty-five, right?" Will queried. This guy really should card him, there was no way he looked twenty-five.

The guy just blinked at him. "'Cause you got money."

"But, but I am twenty-five."

"Don't need to be, you can't drink a tap."

That was true, Will thought as he grabbed the tap and paid for it. He wasn't exactly disappointed but he had thought that his little adventure to the liquor store would have been more interesting than it had turned out to be.

He was turning the corner to head down Sherman Street when Clarisse and her boyfriend stepped in front of him, blocking his path. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he realized the only thing he had for them to break was the tap in his hands.

"Ohhh," Clarisse cooed, "Willie, what you got there?"

Will gulped before laughing nervously as he tried and failed to sidestep the two high school bullies. "That was, that was really funny. What you did with my name, Willie… Ha ha."

Clarisse jerked the tap out of Will's hand before shoving him backwards. The push caused Will to lose his balance enough to fall to the ground. He hissed as his elbow scraped along the sidewalk. His head jerked up when he heard the audible snap of the tap breaking under Clarisse's strong hands.

There was a second where Will just sat there staring at the broken tap before Chris handed it back to him with a satisfied smirk on his lips. "I believe this is yours." Chris broke out in his jock-esque laugh before turning to stare adoringly at Clarisse. "You broke his thing!"

"And you gave it back!" Clarisse laughed as though it were the first time they'd pulled this stunt.

"That was great!" Chris exclaimed as they both ran off towards the party.

Will contemplated just disappearing into the night and never returning. Surely that would be better than facing the gang's wrath. With a dejected sigh, he stood up and trudged his way back to the empty house on Sherman. He had wanted so badly to prove to Nico that he was cool enough to hang with them and in one brief second he'd ruined any chances of being accepted.

(***)

Sally was still sitting on the couch with a crying Marybai while the episode of 'Rich Man, Poor Man' finished.

"So, you see what I'm saying about the poor man?" Marybai sobbed.

Throwing her daiquiri back, Sally finished off her drink before replying, "Yes, you have made your point. Many times."

"He's a bad boy," Marybai all but cried. "He's had some rough breaks, but he has good in his soul."

As her neighbor started bawling, Sally made sure to slide Marybai's daiquiri out of her reach. No need for her to add fuel to the emotional flames currently overtaking her neighbor. "Okay, okay, enough daiquiris for you."

Wiping away her tears, Marybai took a calming breath. "Sally, what do you look for in a man?"

Sally raised her left hand to show off her ring with a nervous laugh. "Well, I'm married. I'm kind of through looking, you know?"

"You can always look," Marybai argued. "It helps you to fantasize. Like, some nights, I'm doing the news with Walter Cronkite."

The lascivious tone to her neighbor's voice made Sally blush furiously. Without a thought, Sally grabbed what was left of Marybai's daiquiri and took a long swig.

(***)

"It's broken," Annabeth said bluntly, staring down at the broken tap in her hands.

Will had made it back to the empty pool to find it full of waiting teenagers from the high school and was reminded again how much he'd fucked up. Now, facing the group he'd started thinking of as friends, he considered disappearing into the night once more.

"I got duct tape," Leo admitted.

Jason rolled his eyes. "Dude, duct tape? Do you know how much pressure runs through that tap?"

"Don't snap at me, Will's the one that broke it," Leo grumbled.

There was a thud behind Will as Nico dropped into the pool from where he'd been watching them from the edge of the pool. Will almost shot out of his skin when he felt cold fingers press gently onto his scraped elbow.

"What happened?" Nico demanded.

"I ran into Destroy and Give-Back," Will admitted with a shrug. He was sure they were about to laugh at him or think he was pathetic for not standing up to those two bullies.

Percy let out a low whistle. "Damn, good thing you had the tap then. They've been known to beat people up pretty badly if there's nothing to break."

"But," Will started, genuinely confused. "Wait, you're not mad?"

Annabeth shook her head. "No, no. We're pissed. Just not at you."

"Yeah, besides," Nico said, letting go of Will's elbow, "Jackson, you can just get your dad's tap."

Percy fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he scoffed. "What? My dad doesn't have a tap!"

"Paul's got bicentennial swizzle sticks, he's got fake lemons with real lemon juice, he's got toothpicks shaped like swords. Paul Jackson is a cocktail dad. And cocktail dads have beer taps," Nico asserted.

Leo raised his hands into the air and said, "Come on, Percy, we never ask you for anything!"

The Latino was met with a raised eyebrow. "You people ask me for everything!"

"Then what's one more thing?" Will asked before remembering Percy hadn't been talking about him. He blushed profusely as Nico and Leo chuckled.

Percy crossed his arms stubbornly. "No, forget it. I've done enough today already, so count me out."

A shadow seemed to fall over Will just before he was jerked back. For the second time that night, he fell on his ass. This time he scraped the same elbow along the cement bottom of the pool. He gritted his teeth to keep from crying out as blood poured down his arm from the deepened cut on his arm.

"What the hell, Will?" Clarisse growled. "Your tap is broken? Why'd you do something stupid like buy a stupid, broken tap? What are you, stupid?"

Will blinked back tears as he stood back up and shoved Clarisse back. "It wasn't broken until you broke it, Dillhole!"

Something clicked in Clarisse's mind as she took a step back. At least she had the decency to seem somewhat sorry for her actions. Chris was quick to console his girlfriend, offering reassuring words and gentle caresses. "Hey, we gave it back, right?" he said at some point.

"Yeah, broken!" Annabeth reminded them.

Chris glared at the gray-eyed girl. "Hey, lay off her, alright? She feels bad enough already."

"Oh, she should, because she's a moron," Will ground out between his clenched teeth.

"What did you say?" Clarisse challenged, towering over Will.

Fear flickered briefly through Will's eyes but he stood his ground. He set his jaw before continuing, "I said that you're both morons." The two tormentors reared back like they were about to let loose some flying fists but Will was too angry to care. "What are you gonna do? Are you going to beat me up? What, you weigh four hundred pounds together? It doesn't matter, the fact is that the tap is broken and it is your fault. Morons!"

"You are so rude," Clarisse grumbled. "Give us our four dollars back."

Will smiled politely, "Of course, Frank?"

Frank handed him four dollars from the bucket he was carrying around. Will held the money out to the two disgruntled teenagers but, before they could grab their money, Will ripped the dollar bills in half.

The angry couple stalked out of the pool.

"Wow, Will, you just tore their money," Nico said, mocking Chris. "And then you gave it back!"

"I know!" Will replied with just as much mock excitement as Clarisse would have.

Nico laughed, "Oh, that was great."

Will grimaced when Nico playfully shoved his injured arm. "I should probably go take care of this, I'll be right back."

"Neeks is right, that was awesome. But enough of this," he dramatically ran across the pool and jumped onto the ladder, pointing to the sky. "We came here to have a party, and as God as my witness, there will be a party!"

The gathered teenagers cheered as Percy climbed out of the pool and took off.

(***)

Not long after Will left the liquor store, Paul and company decided to stop in to ask around in an attempt to find information on their kids' whereabouts. While Paul and Poseidon questioned the guy behind the counter, Fred scanned the store's selection of alcohol.

"You had any kids come in tonight trying to buy beer?" Paul inquired.

The liquor store guy just shrugged. "Nah, some young guy did come in for a tap, though."

Paul and Poseidon shared a look, that had to be one of the kids in Percy's group.

"Oh, look," Fred said from a few feet away. The two men turned to see Fred holding a can of Pina Colada. "You can buy this in a can!"

"Fred, we're doing something here," Paul reminded him with the barest hint of exasperation.

A kid walked out from an aisle behind Fred, Paul immediately recognized him as Reyna's crazy, conspiracy-theorist brother. He leaned towards the three men with a crazed look in his eyes as he informed them that he may have heard something. "I can't really recall, maybe," he rubbed his thumb and index finger together, "Andrew Jackson could remind me?"

Before Paul could tell the kid to get lost, Fred was pulling out his wallet. "Andrew Jackson, huh?" He flicked through some bills he found in his wallet. "He's not in. But Abe Lincoln's hanging out with the Washington twins. Would they have any knowledge of the festivities?"

Octavian reached for the bills but Paul quickly confiscated them.

"A real wisenheimer, huh?" Poseidon accused as he leaned threateningly towards the kid. "Well, let's just see how smart you are when I snap off your head."

The kid let out the tiniest squeak before cracking, "Okay! Okay, man. They said something about a vacant house on Sherman."

"I know that place," Fred said with conviction. "It's the vacant house on Sherman."

Octavian looked to Paul and Poseidon as if to ask what was wrong with their friend. Paul rolled his eyes in response. "Good work, Starsky. Let's roll," Paul demanded.

(***)

In the Jackson's kitchen, Sally was smoking as she cooked some popcorn over the stove. Marybai leaned against the counter beside her with a slightly dazed look in her eye as she talked to her friend.

"Sometimes," she was saying excitedly, "Fred pretends he's poor, I call him Buster. He knocks on the door, and I answer in my teddy." Sally took a big gulp of her peach schnapps before Marybai could keep going. "He'll say, 'Does the rich lady need any help around the house?" and I'll reply with, 'I know something that needs attending to in the bedroom'."

Marybai playfully shoved Sally's shoulder as she laughed and Sally took another long drag from her cigarette.

"I'll spare you the details, but it ends in whoopie!" Marybai said through her giggles.

Sally shook the bowl of popcorn even harder. "You know, this is as much fun to make as it is to eat." She put her cigarette out in the ashtray nearby and turned her attention to her neighbor. "Speaking of which, how do you get Fred to play those games?"

"I have a rewards system."

"Huh," Sally thought for a moment. "You know, sometimes Paul would wear a soldier's uniform."

Marybai gave her a lewd smile. "Really?"

Sally nodded. "Yeah, but he was in the Marines."

There was a moment of silence before Marybai spit her drink all over Sally as she started laughing uncontrollably. The two both giggled as they drank and moved back into the living room, a fresh bowl of popcorn in hand.

Neither of them noticed Percy standing behind the bar with Paul's beer tap in hand. He quickly dove for the couch and crawled to the kitchen door. Just before the kitchen door swung shut, Percy slid through without ever gaining the attention of his mother or Mrs. Chase.

"Does he still have his uniform?" Marybai asked as she hiccuped drunkenly.

Sally snickered. "No… He just has the hat."

The two women fell on top of one another as they laid down on the couch, giggling hysterically.

(***)

Percy didn't even think twice when he made it back to the empty house. If he had paused to take a look around, he would have noticed that there were a few hundred less people at the house. Instead, he grabbed the hose and threw one end into the pool, using it to suavely slide down the six feet to the bottom of the pool. When he got to the bottom he held the tap up in victory and began to turn around.

"I stole my dad's tap," he said just as he realized that the only people in the pool were his friends, both his fathers, Fred, and two cops, "... back from those thieves."

None of the adults looked impressed as they glowered at him. He hung his head in defeat.

"We were worried sick," Fred scolded Annabeth.

Paul pointed threateningly at Percy, "You had us driving all over town."

"We missed 'Rich Man, Poor Man'," Fred pouted.

Leo and Nico slid between Fred and Paul, picking up the keg. "'Scuse us, Paul," Nico said casually.

Poseidon glared at the two kids. "What are you doing?"

"We're just gonna take this off your hands," Leo tried.

"Get out of here," Poseidon ordered. When the two of them scrambled out of the way, he turned to face Percy. "We're not finished with this. And, Jason, you, too? Do you know what your father would say if he found out about this? What about you, Will?"

Jason's face became so pale it practically glowed in the dark. "Sir, please, don't tell Zeus about this."

"Luckily for you, I don't talk to my brother," Poseidon admitted. "Mr. Jackson, here, however, does."

Paul let out a deep, calming breath. "Jason, go home. I won't tell your dad, seeing as you didn't really do anything illegal. But, Will…"

"Will was pressured into this," Leo said, coming to his boyfriend's rescue much to everyone's surprise. "I made him help us, please don't call his parents. I mean, he's already injured."

His boyfriend hugged him tightly with his good arm. "Aw, that was so sweet."

Nico snorted in disbelief.

"Alright, alright," Paul conceded, "just get out of here. Percy, you take Annabeth home and you wait for me. That's an order."

For the first time in his life, Percy truly believed his dad had been a Marine.

"We're not finished either," Fred said angrily at Annabeth but as she walked past him with her head hung down in shame, he caved. "Oh, come here."

Annabeth turned around to give her dad a hug.

"I can't stay mad at you with that cute face!" Fred sighed.

Percy turned to his fathers and opened his arms to give them both a hug.

Instead of hugging him, Poseidon pointed to the ladder of the pool. "Get your ugly butt home."

With that, Percy did as he was told.

(***)

When they made it back to the Jackson's home, Percy and Annabeth sat on the hood of his car. Annabeth was fairly relaxed considering this was her first failed attempt at a kegger. Percy, however, was one big ball of stress.

"My father and Poseidon are going to kill me. And they were both in the military, so they probably know like fifteen different ways to kill me," Percy ranted. "I mean, I cut class, I trespassed, I had stolen beer, and then I swung into a pool full of cops on a garden hose carrying my dad's tap."

Annabeth nodded her head as she remembered the smooth way Percy had slid into the pool. "Yeah, but that was pretty cool."

"You know what was really cool?" Percy asked as he leaned towards Annabeth. "You cutting class and throwing a kegger."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

They leaned in close for a chaste kiss. When they pulled away from one another, Annabeth said, "Did I, uh, mention that I killed a guy in algebra?"

Percy laughed as he got off his car, ready to head in and face his drunken mother. "Good night, killer."

"Night, Seaweed Brain."

(***)

Plastic cups in hand, Paul and Poseidon stood talking to Fred and their two new cop buddies. They'd drank enough beer to get them all tipsy. Paul had his arm around Fred and was leaning most of his weight on his old friend.

"I love," Paul paused to hiccup, "I love that boy."

Poseidon nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, he's a good kid. You raised him well."

"That Annabeth's real sweet, too," Paul added.

One of the cops chimed in, "Man, that Annabeth was real hot."

Fred went from relaxed to pissed in less than a second as he got in the cop's face. "Hey, that's my daughter! You, you don't think I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying!"

Paul and Poseidon quickly grabbed Fred's shoulders and hauled him out of the cop's personal space.

"Alright," Poseidon said calmly, "Fred, it's time to go. We'll just, uh, take this." He and Fred both bent down to pick up the keg before the police stopped them and told them to get out of there. The three men walked to the shallow end of the pool and climbed out.


	8. Movie Night

The voice on the other end of the phone sounded hesitant and confused as Percy spoke to them. They were probably wondering if this was some kind of prank. It was, but Percy didn't think they really needed to know that.

"Yeah, that's right, one hundred bags of manure," he assured the man on the phone. "Yeah, the wife and I are redoing the front lawn. And, tell you what, if I'm not there, just dump it all on the front porch. Okay, thank you. Bye, bye."

When he hung up, Jason plopped down next to him on the couch. They had been hanging out with a few of the guys in the basement when Percy had come up with the plan to get back at his P.E. coach for a bad grade.

Jason ran a hand through his blond hair as he faced Percy with a toothy grin. "Man, Coach Hedge is gonna freak."

"He shouldn't have given me that D," Percy argued.

Off to the side, Frank was minding his own business reading a Dick Tracy comic book when he muttered, "Oh no, Dick Tracy is trapped in a giant clam. Farewell, sweet Dick."

Nico rubbed his chin as he thought about that statement. "A man named dick being eaten by a giant clam. I'm no Sigmund Freud, but…" He raised his eyebrows suggestively and shrugged.

A Latino came running down the stairs waving his arms in excitement. When he saw Percy and Jason his enthusiastic flailing increased tenfold before Nico finally punched his shoulder in an attempt to get the guy to calm down. "Guys, 'The Omen' is playing at the drive-in! You know what that means!"

Jason slapped Percy's shoulder with the back of his hand. "Make-out city!"

"I really like you as a friend, Jason, but can I bring a girl?" Percy said with a smirk.

In response, Jason raised his hands to his chest as if he'd been shot. "That hurts, Percy, that really hurts. Yeah, you idiot, 'course you can bring a girl. It's gonna be great."

"Yeah, horror movies turn on las chicas faster than porno, eses," Leo informed them. "If only somebody made a porno horror movie!"

Percy and jason shared a skeptical look as Nico snorted.

"Oh, yeah, then there'd be no stopping you," Nico quipped.

The guys laughed as Paul trudged down the stairs to look at the gathered teenagers. "Perce, is that kid from… not America down here?" Frank sat up from his place on the floor so that Paul could see him. "The Stolls called and they want you to go home. Also, Leo, stop saying porno!"

Leo flinched before pointing a finger at Frank. "I didn't say it, Mr. Jackson, Frank did!"

"Wáng bā dàn," Frank mumbled under his breath.

(***)

A magazine landed with a thump on top of Paul's plate of bacon and eggs. Sally stood over him with her hands on her hips, possibly upset about something she'd seen in the offending magazine. The word 'Cosmopolitan' beamed up at him, confirming his suspicions.

"Do you know what this is, Paul?" Sally interrogated.

Paul sighed before answering, "Some lady magazine."

"It's Cosmo!"

"Okay..?"

"I'm going to tell you something," she announced, "I just took the 'How spontaneous is your relationship' quiz and you know what?" He opened his mouth to answer but she kept going, "We got three out of ten. And I cheated!"

Picking the magazine off his breakfast, Paul prepared himself for the argument he knew was coming. "Gee, Hun, I can't help but notice that you're upset."

"Oh, no, no. I'm not upset," she argued, clearly upset. "That would disrupt our routine. God knows I wouldn't want to move in a new direction and accidentally slip in a puddle of fun or anything!"

She snatched her magazine back up and clutched it to her chest. There were unshed tears glistening in her eyes and Paul knew what he had to do even if it was going to seriously hurt his wallet. A defeated sigh escaped his lips as he poked at his eggs with a fork. "How about we treat ourselves to a night out? Just the two of us."

He saw the tension start to drain from his wife as she pursed her lips and shifted from side to side. Finally, a small smile started forming on her lips. "That'd be nice."

"Great, we'll go to Soter's."

The magazine landed on the table with a solid thwack and Sally huffed angrily. "Soter's? So you'll have the Salisbury steak and I'll have the baked chicken, again!"

"Well, maybe I won't have the Salisbury steak. I enjoy their ham, too," Paul offered.

Sally threw her hands up in the air and cried, "Oh, ham! Well, alright then! I can change one answer on the quiz! Four out of ten, whoop-de-freaking-do. We've moved up from 'Predictable as the Tides' to 'Hum Drum'! I'll go change!" Her tirade over, she stormed out of the room.

Slumping in his chair, food forgotten, Paul picked up the dreaded magazine. "Damn Cosmo."

(***)

Mr. and Mrs. Stoll were devoutly religious and truly believed their two sons were as well. Frank had learned the first day in America that the Stoll brothers were nothing but pranksters who couldn't care less about God. In fact, if his suspicions were right, they had been the ones to spray paint a giant dick on the side of the church a few weeks ago. Even after multiple attempts to paint over it, one could still see the bright red paint they'd used bleeding through.

But, of course, Mr. and Mrs. Stoll were blissfully unaware of their sons shenanigans.

"Son," Mr. Stoll chided, "when we took you in as an exchange student, you became our responsibility. And we're concerned about this gang of ruffians you hang out with."

Frank tried to think of any 'ruffians' in his group of friends but only thought Nico fit that description. The Stoll brothers were more ruffian-like than most of his friends and the look they shot him from the other room told him they agreed.

"They are my friends," Frank tried.

Mr. Stoll threw his hands up impatiently, "That's exactly what they want you to think! Now, we're not inflexible. We looked the other way when you started dating that dark girl with the questionable reputation."

There was a brief second where Frank considered punching Mr. Stoll for the way he'd talked about Hazel before he remembered that he didn't want to be deported. Travis Stoll, however, had no such limitations as he stepped into the living room followed closely by his younger brother.

"Dad, really? Hazel's the nicest girl at school there's no need to be a racist dillhole," Travis accosted.

Frank didn't think he'd ever seen the two brothers so serious about anything. Granted, he did vaguely remember them starting a food fight in the cafeteria by throwing food in Clarisse's face when she was harassing him on his first day. Yeah, they were troublemakers but they were nice troublemakers.

"Not now, honey," Mrs. Stoll said with a dismissive wave of her hand. With her other hand she held up a KISS album that Frank had borrowed from Percy. "You've brought the devil's music into our home."

Connor snorted before smarting off. "No, no. KISS is a bunch of old, white dudes. They'd have to be black for that to be the devil's music. Right, Dad?"

"Go," Mr. Stoll ordered, pointing down the hall in the direction of their rooms.

Both brothers tousled Frank's hair reassuringly as they passed behind the couch he was sitting on. Once their bedroom doors closed, Mr. and Mrs. Stoll faced him accusingly again.

Frank tried to be diplomatic, "That's not the devil's music, it's Percy's."

"Rebecca, show the boy. Now, listen to what happens when she plays it backwards."

Mrs. Stoll put the record on a turntable and forced it to go backwards. The only thing that came out was a cacophony of indistinct noises. Frank briefly worried that it was damaging the record, he really didn't want to upset Percy.

"There it is," Mr. Stoll said, indicating another bout of nonsense. "'Devil loves me, Devil lives! It's clear as day."

"Okay, so I won't listen to it backwards then," Frank shrugged.

The two only glared back at him in answer.

(***)

Percy swallowed hard as he tried to find the courage to look Annabeth in the eyes. "So, Wise Girl, I was thinking we should go see a movie tonight?"

He mentally slapped himself for not sounding more confident.

Annabeth didn't seem to notice, though, seeing as she just shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, cool. I've been wanting to see 'All the President's Men', actually."

"Actually, I've heard that movie isn't very good. 'The Omen', however, that's a good movie," Percy countered.

"Isn't that at the drive-in?" Annabeth asked, suddenly nervous.

Percy froze for a second before laughing awkwardly. "Ha ha. Is it at the…? Yeah, no, yeah. I guess it is." He swallowed again. "You wanna go?"

She ducked her head down to hide the blush creeping across her cheeks. When she finally answered, Percy could tell she was as nervous as he was. "Tonight? Um… Yeah, sure!"

(***)

As soon as she left the Jackson's house, Annabeth had called Will and Piper. She was now sitting on her porch with her two friends. Once she caught them up to speed, they stared at her in awe.

"'The Omen'? That's at the drive-in," Piper said after a moment.

Annabeth nodded. "I know, I don't know what to do. I mean, I really like Percy and I wouldn't mind, you know, having a physical relationship with him. But…"

"It's called making-out, Annabeth," Will chastised gently. "Just say it."

She blushed profusely in response before setting her jaw in determination. "Alright, make-out! But, I don't want to do it in public. I don't want it to be tacky. I don't want there to be pressure. And now it's become this tacky, public, pressuring, make-out thing!"

Piper stroked Annabeth's curls. "I understand. Everybody wants their first make-out to be special. You know, some place romantic like Ireland or Disney World." She was answered with two faces with matching confusion before she continued, "Right, sorry. So, let's focus. He asked you to the drive-in and you said yes."

Annabeth agreed. "Will you and Jason come with us?"

"Why?" Piper asked.

"You'd be a loophole. I can talk to you if I get nervous," Annabeth explained.

Piper considered it for a moment before she smiled happily. "Don't worry, we'll be there! It'll be our first double date!"

"What about you, Will? Is Leo taking you to the drive-in?" Annabeth asked after a moment.

Will shook his head vigorously, his blonde hair swinging from side-to-side. "Oh, goodness, no! Last time Leo took me to see a horror movie, I… Well, I… Let's just leave it at I don't do scary movies."

(***)

"You asked Annabeth to the drive-in?" Jason asked, even though he already knew the answer. "Oh, that's great! Me and Pipes will come with you, man."

Percy leaned back against the couch in an attempt to relax. He'd been nothing but stressed ever since he'd decided to ask Annabeth to see a movie at the drive-in. "No, you'd be, like, competition."

"Competition?" Jason raised an eyebrow at his friend.

"Yeah, dude, I'd feel like I'd have to keep up with you and Piper. It'd just make me nervous and a little uncomfortable, seeing as Piper is my cousin. I don't know, something about going to a place known as Make-out City with my cousin just rubs me the wrong way."

Jason was quiet for a moment as he processed that information but, eventually, he nodded in understanding. "Fair enough. Alright, we won't come."

(***)

Sally found her husband flipping through channels on the TV in their living room when she finished getting ready for their date night. She still wasn't sure about the elegant, red dress she'd picked, especially for a place as simple as Soter's.

"Okay, now, see?" She said when Paul finally turned to look at her. "This dress says, 'look at me, notice me, stare at me!' It's all wrong."

Paul stood up from his recliner and reached for her hands. "No, you look terrific, especially for dinner at the Nemean Lion's Head."

"No, it's no good," Sally complained before she registered what her husband had said. "Wait, what? The Nemean Lion's Head? I thought we were going to Soter's tonight?"

Paul shrugged as he smiled lovingly at her. "I changed my mind. It's fancy and different. I mean, hey, we haven't been there in years. It'll be fun, huh?"

Sally clapped excitedly before rushing up the stairs. "This is so exciting! Okay, I'm going to grab the clippers 'cause if we're going somewhere fancy, I have to shave your neck. You hop in the car!"

As Sally disappeared upstairs, Paul let out a long sigh before heading for the car.

(***)

The guys were gathered in their sacred, weed circle in the Jackson's basement. Frank had just finished telling them what the Stoll's had told him. "I'm telling you, they think the devil is singing backwards on the record. Guys, they might deport me if I keep hanging out with you."

A hand landed on his shoulder, he looked up to see that the hand belonged to Nico. With a shake of his head, Nico said, "No, man, it's not the devil. It's Congress. They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records. They wanna kill rock'n'roll because they know it makes us horny, man."

"Doesn't pretty much everything make us horny?" Percy pointed out before shoving a whole Twinkie into his mouth.

"Cartoons make me horny," Leo stated. "Oh, and food."

Frank looked to Jason for help. Jason obliged by speaking up in a demonic voice, "Satan is your master, Frank. Worship Satan."

Nico grabbed Frank by the shoulders and looked him deep in the eyes. "But before you worship Satan, get us a cherry pop! Satan will be angry if we don't have a cherry pop! Frank, man, get me a pop!"

"Sorry, didn't realize Satan cared about your hydration," Frank mumbled sarcastically, even as he stood up to get sodas for everyone.

Percy added, "Satan's second choice is root beer."

(***)

The restaurant they pulled up to was a building with a great, big, mechanical monkey in the parking lot. The sign read, 'Kerkopes', and the parking lot was littered with trash. Paul was certain that this was where the Nemean Lion's Head had been the last time they had eaten there.

They uncertainly got out of their car and heard children screaming excitedly.

"Paul, what is this place?" Sally asked quietly.

When they entered the restaurant they saw a parade of waiters clapping and singing happy birthday. The host was a stringy teenager with peach fuzz and a forced smile. His name tag told them his name was Akmon.

Paul asked the host, "Excuse me, what happened to the Nemean Lion's Head?"

"Burned down," he announced with a smile. "Five dead, real sad! Welcome to Kerkopes. May I take your name?"

He looked to Sally who was obviously disappointed with how the night was going.

"It may not be too bad," Paul tried even as a child screamed loudly a few feet away from him. "It is different."

A busboy bumped into him and yelled, "On your left, Sparky!"

"Well, the staff is rather enthusiastic," Sally tried making an effort.

They gave the host their name and the host informed them that the wait was going to be two hours. In response, Paul slid Akmon a twenty dollar bill and the wait time effectively dropped down to five minutes.

A moment later, they were being escorted to a booth in the center of the restaurant surrounded by squealing children and their partially drunken parents.

(***)

"Alright, let's go," Percy said, opening the passenger side door.

Annabeth hesitated by the basketball goal, stalling. "Maybe I should go to my house and pop some popcorn. You know, 'cause they always overcharge?" She spotted Piper and Jason coming through the Jackson's garage and acted as if she didn't know what they were doing there. "Piper and Jason, what are you guys up to?"

Jason shot Percy an apologetic shrug as Piper dragged him along after her.

"Nothing, what are you guys up to?" Piper asked, even though Percy was certain she already knew.

"Annabeth and I are going to the drive-in," Percy explained. Then, with a pointed look at Jason, he added, "Remember?"

Piper patted Percy's arm happily, "Oh, thank you, Percy! We'd love to go."

"Pipes, I don't think we…" Jason tried to argue but Piper shut him up with a glare. "Right, I'll get in the car."

As Jason passed Percy to get in the car he received a quick punch in the shoulder. The four of them got in the now stress-filled Vista Cruiser and Percy begrudgingly started the car.

(***)

At Kerkopes, Sally and Paul were still waiting for their server. With all the loud children, Paul was extremely grateful their children were grown and he wouldn't have to hear this at home. He was just thinking that they should leave and find another restaurant to eat at when their waiter came up to the table dressed as a monkey.

"Hey, I'm Passalos, your waiter. Would either of you like to help yourself to our monkey-tastic salad bar?"

There was a second where Paul considered just going along with the insanity that was around them, but one look at his wife changed his mind. He stood up and informed their waiter that they were leaving. "Come on, Sally, we're going to Soter's."

Sally shrugged at the waiter before following after her husband.

(***)

The drive-in was by far the worst place for a double date. Annabeth was sitting close to Percy while Jason and Piper made out in the backseat. The two in the front seat could not decide if the strange noises they kept hearing were from the speakers or the backseat.

"This movie even sounds gross," Annabeth commented as she decided that no two humans could make those noises she was hearing.

Percy, however, had come to realize that he would never be able to look at his cousin or best friend the same way again. "That's not the move."

Piper's head popped up from the back seat to look at them. Her hair was a mess with thin braids sticking up at odd angles. A second later and Jason sat up with his head between Piper and Percy. He had a goofy grin on his face and lipstick smudges along his jawline.

"So, you guys okay up here?" Piper asked with an apologetic smile.

Annabeth barely managed to contain her anger as she turned towards her friends. "No, I want... " she paused trying to think quickly, "popcorn. I want Percy and Jason to go get me some popcorn."

After a disappointed Percy and Jason left to do as they were told, Piper clambered over the back seat to sit beside Annabeth. She received a rough shove from Annabeth once she settled down.

"I didn't bring you here to suck Jason's face off," Annabeth grumbled.

"I know, I'm sorry," Piper said adamantly. "I wasn't being a very good friend. No more making-out, promise."

Piper had just managed to climb back over the seats when the boys returned with empty hands. Jason started to explain that they were broke and needed money to buy popcorn but Annabeth said, exasperatedly, that she didn't want popcorn. Percy and Jason shared a bewildered look before getting back into the car.

Jason leaned over to kiss Piper again but she waved him off. "No, no, Jason. We are going to watch the movie with Percy and Annabeth."

"But I missed the beginning," Jason said even as he leaned forward to watch.

Percy tilted his head back a little so it rested near Jason's. "Okay, the little kid's the devil and they have to kill him."

"Thanks, dude," Jason whispered.

The boys continued to whisper to one another about the movie as the girl's shared frustrated looks. Annabeth almost wished Piper and Jason were still making out in the backseat. Now she felt like she was intruding on something.

"Look at this, Damien, it's all for you," cried someone in the movie just before a scream echoed out of the speakers.

Both girls screamed and fell towards their significant other. Jason gave Percy a thumbs up before Piper dragged him back down for another make-out session.

"Annabeth, it's just a movie," Percy reminded her.

"I know, just surprised me is all," she said as she calmed down.

Percy had no doubt that had she been paying attention, Annabeth would have been telling him about all the scientific flaws and impossibilities the movie showed. He'd learned after years of knowing her that it took a lot more than some demon movie to scare her. In fact, as far as he knew the only thing that truly scared her were spiders for whatever reason.

"Do you want to sit somewhere else?" Percy offered as the sounds from the backseat increased.

"God, yes," Annabeth answered.

(***)

"Okay, now this is how we sneak the devil music past Ozzie and Harriet," Travis Stoll was telling Frank. The Stoll brothers had come over to the Jackson's basement to inform their foreign friend of their brilliant idea.

Nico leaned forward from where he'd been sitting on his chair.

In Connor's left hand was an Alice Cooper record and in his right hand was a Pat Boone cover. "Observe," Connor ordered in a grand voice. "Alice Cooper, meet Pat Boone."

He began to slide the Alice Cooper record into the Pat Boone cover. Halfway in he began acting as though there was an invisible force stopping him.

"Don't resist me, Pat Boone," he cried.

Travis smirked as he egged his brother on. "No, you're hurting me!"

"Come on, take it!" Connor acted like there was a huge fight of wills going on between him and the Pat Boone cover.

"Oh, it hurts! No!"

"Ah, ha!" Connor exclaimed victoriously as he successfully slid the record into its new cover.

Nico snorted and Frank looked at them skeptically. "What if your parents hear it?"

"Then Satan commands us to kill them, Frank," Travis said bluntly.

"Or," Nico said slowly, "you can use headphones?"

Connor and Travis considered this new option for a moment before shrugging in unison. "Yeah," Travis conceded.

"That'd work, too," Connor admitted.

(***)

Later that night, having eaten at Soter's, Paul and Sally were sitting in their Camaro on the side of the road. Paul was still apologizing for how terrible their night had been.

"Oh, it's not your fault, Honey," Sally reassured him. "You know how emotional I get when I read Cosmo. And at least we gave it a try, right? I guess we have slowed down, flattened out - oh, at our age, it's inevitable."

Paul's hand came to rest behind Sally's neck in order to pull her in for a deep kiss. "Hold on, Sally, the night's not over, yet."

(***)

The hood of the Vista Cruiser wasn't exactly the best place to watch a movie in the drive-in but it was certainly better than watching it from inside the car. Percy tried several times to start a conversation to fill the tension-filled air between them to no avail.

The car started rocking and Percy wanted nothing more than to just go home.

"Well, Piper and Jason certainly made themselves comfortable," Percy muttered.

Annabeth chuckled quietly, "It is a roomy car."

Percy started off on a tangent about the car and what the full-body catalog said about it when he felt Annabeth's head rest gently on his shoulder. He felt her shake her head at his ramblings as his arm fell around her shoulders.

They sat in companionable silence just curled up to one another and watched the now silent movie.

After a moment, Annabeth shifted slightly to look up at him, presumably to ask him a question, before she froze. They were barely an inch from one another's face. Without thinking, Annabeth leaned forward and kissed Percy.

She started to pull away before Percy pulled her closer with a hand in her hair. The kiss deepened as the car still rocked under them and the sounds of the movie played distantly in the background.

(***)

The windows of the Camaro were steamed up and a single hand fell upon the window as police lights flashed by. A police officer approached the car and tapped on the window with his flashlight.

A flashlight lit up the backseat of the Camaro, illuminating the couple tangled up together. "Alright, kids, break it up. Let's go," the police officer ordered. As two faces looked up to him in shock, he added, "Oh, hey, you're adults. I'm sorry, folks. My mistake."

"That's quite alright, we all make mistakes," Paul said. "Now, why don't you go bust some pot-smoking teenagers before I give you a good adult-size kick in the ass?"

The officer nodded and gave them a quick goodbye before leaving.

"Oh, Paul, so threatening," Sally said in awe.

Paul grabbed ahold of his wife again, before playfully threatening, "Yeah, but you're not getting off that easy."

(***)

The Stoll brother's sat on their couch with Frank in between them. Frank and Connor had headphones on while Travis kept a lookout for their parents. A minute later, Travis started making some random, rapid hand gestures.

Connor and Frank smiled happily and threw an arm around one another. In unison, they started singing, "Raindrops keep falling on my head."

Mrs. Stoll strolled happily through the living room on her way to the kitchen.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Frank leaned over to ask Travis, "This loud music will not damage my hearing?"

"Nah, man, it's good for you," he assured him.

(***)

When Percy returned home from the drive-in he found his dad sitting in his recliner. He didn't think he'd ever seen his dad so relaxed which instantly made him never want to know what his parents had been up to.

"Hey, Dad," Percy greeted.

"Hey, Son. How was the movie?"

Percy shrugged in answer. "Eh, pretty gory."

"Yeah, how did it end?" Paul asked, still watching TV.

Percy's smile turned a little lopsided. "I don't remember."

"'Atta boy. My night was fantastic," his father informed him absently.

There was a second where Percy had to brace himself for all the unwanted mental images that came with that statement. "Right, well, that's… that's great. G'night, Dad."

"'Night, Son. Oh, and be quiet going upstairs," his father called out after him. "Your mother is very tired."

Percy shuddered before racing up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soter was the Greek personification of safety and preservation.
> 
> The Kerkopes were primate-like creatures that liked to play pranks and steal things.
> 
> And when Frank says, "Wáng bā dàn," that means son of a bitch in Chinese. I literally looked up different curse words in Chinese just for this and, let me tell you, they've got some interesting curses. I highly recommend you look some up!


	9. That Disco Chapter

The door to the basement flew open to reveal an exhilarated Will Solace with a colorful flyer in hand. Percy stopped dealing out cards to stare at the newcomer in mild concern as the tan blond hopped up and down in his basement.

When Will didn't say anything for a full minute, Nico slowly approached him. Once he reached the overly enthusiastic sophomore, Nico gripped his shoulders tightly and shook him roughly. "Dude, breathe."

Will flew out of Nico's grip and sat down next to Leo. "Oh my god, Leo! They opened up a disco!"

"Where at?" Leo asked, clearly not as excited.

"In Watervliet," Will answered cheerfully. "You could wear your David Bowie butt-huggers!"

Jason and Percy shared a look before they both doubled over, laughing. Next to them, Annabeth chuckled quietly while Nico moved back to his chair trying to remember why he'd befriended Leo in the first place.

"Laugh all you want, but my butt looks pretty good in those," Leo argued.

Percy threw an arm around Annabeth's shoulders as he shook his head. "Come on. Are you two crazy? I mean, a disco? Hell no."

"I don't know," Annabeth shrugged slightly under Percy's arm. "It might be fun to go dancing."

"Are you guys crazy? It's a disco! Hell yeah!" Percy exclaimed.

Leo's cards fell face-down onto the table as he declared his desperate need for sustenance. Jason waved vaguely towards the stairs and ordered Leo to make some popcorn for everyone. With a shrug, Leo walked past his boyfriend who was now swaying to some imaginary music to do as he had been told.

Before Nico could remind Leo to take Will with him, the Latino had already disappeared up the stairs.

"What is disco?" Frank questioned.

Nico groaned before answering. "Disco is from Hell, man. And not the cool part of Hell with all the murderers. It's the lame ass part where the really bad accountants live."

Annabeth leaned across the table to look at Leo's cards before Percy playfully smacked her hand away. "'Scuse me, what are you doing?" he asked in a mock-scandalized tone. "That's considered cheating. Thou art a cheater, you vile temptress."

Annabeth snorted as she bumped his shoulder just as Leo shouted down the stairs that he couldn't find the popcorn. Will rolled his eyes as his boyfriend half-shouted, half-whined at Percy about the missing food.

After rearranging his cards, Percy stood to go rescue Leo from his merciless fate but he paused before he'd even gone two feet. Instead of heading upstairs, he turned to Annabeth with his sweetest smile. "Hey, um, Wise Girl? Why don't you just take a little look at my cards, then you won't have to wait for me to leave." He shoved his cards in her face causing her to bat his arm out of the way. "No, come on, look. Look at them! Tell me what I have, you cheater!"

He managed to get his cards in her face despite her shoving.

When she finally looked at his cards, she paused. "You don't have anything."

"Yeah," Percy said confidently as he raised his arms. "And I'm gonna bluff, so watch out."

Once Percy had disappeared up the stairs, Frank glanced from Annabeth to Nico before stating, "Annabeth has stuff for Percy."

"No, no, Frank. Not stuff, thing. Annabeth has a thing for Jackson," Nico explained with a laugh. He leaned forward in his seat to look at the girl in question. "And why do you have a thing for Percy?"

She raised an eyebrow at him and shot him a knowing look. "Why did you?"

Jason's head turned to face Annabeth so quickly that Nico was shocked he hadn't broken his neck in the process. The look of utter disbelief and anger on Jason's face reminded Nico of just how protective he was of Nico. Will froze with his back to Nico as a vinyl record slipped from his fingers to shatter on the ground.

Nico flinched slightly. Swallowing hard, he clenched his jaw and stared the gray-eyed girl down. He relaxed minutely when her gaze flitted downwards.

"Sorry, I didn't think," she whispered. Annabeth glanced back up only to wince slightly before looking back down at the cards in her hand.

"Does everyone like Percy?" Frank asked, blissfully unaware of the situation.

Nico moved his jaw silently, attempting to unclench it. Once he realized how futile that was, he threw his cards down and turned slightly away from Annabeth to watch the TV. Jason followed suit a moment later with a disappointed shake of his head.

Will huffed out a humorless laugh. When Nico and Jason turned to see what was wrong with the sophomore, he was still standing with his back to them but his stance had relaxed immensely. "I gotta go," Will stated blandly before heading for the door.

"What happened to disco?" Nico teased more out of habit than anything as he turned back to watch the television. It seemed Will wasn't up for their usual banter, though, if the slamming basement door was anything to go by.

Frank jumped as the door slammed shut. "Is he okay?"

No one answered.

(***)

The Jackson's were gathered around their kitchen table, eating dinner when Percy suggested temporarily changing his curfew for Saturday night. Leo had called everyone the day before to inform them that they were going to the disco whether they liked it or not because someone in the group had upset Will.

"Oh, a disco in Watervliet. That's quite a drive," Sally commented with a worried look at her son.

"So, is two okay?" Percy said, trying to get back to the topic of his curfew. Sally scrunched up her face like she'd smelled one of Leo's old socks. "One thirty?" The slightly modified version of the same face answered him. "One?"

His mom patted his hand with a smile. "Deal."

Paul narrowed his eyes at Percy before asking, "Who's going?"

"Oh, Annabeth, for sure. They're practically dating," Sally giggled.

Percy rolled his eyes. "We're not dating, Mom. And can I have gas money, Dad?"

His stepfather opened his mouth to answer, but Sally's indignant voice stopped him. "And why not? She's a lovely girl and I can tell she's interested. And dancing is the quickest way to a girl's heart, you know? You could ask her out there! Oh, Paul, do you remember when we used to go dancing at the Ava…"

Sally froze for a second and Paul turned to look at his wife in confusion. "We've only gone dancing downtown at that bar the Muse."

"Right," Sally agreed quickly as she began taking nervous sips of her water.

"Did you just get me and Poseidon confused?" Paul spluttered angrily.

Percy groaned internally. "Gas money? Anyone?"

Paul handed him three tens before storming out of the house. Percy squeezed his mom's hand before heading to his room, away from the awkwardness that permeated the kitchen.

(***)

Nico and Leo were standing in the Jackson's garage talking to Percy when Paul walked in to grab some tools.

"Why does he not have to go?" Percy grumbled.

Leo shrugged. "Dunno, Will specifically told me that Nico did not have to come. Maybe it's 'cause Hazel's coming and he likes her better? No offense, man."

Nico shrugged.

Percy shared a concerned look with Leo. They'd both noticed a severe lack of snarky comments and biting remarks in the past couple of days but neither knew how to go about asking Nico what was bothering him. Not without getting punched.

"Well, anyways, we'll need a little more cash for food and stuff," Leo said after momentarily struggling to find a topic to talk about. "My dad's got a few empties lying around we could deposit."

The two turned to leave before realizing Nico wasn't following. "You guys go on ahead."

Knowing they wouldn't get an explanation out of him, Percy and Leo shrugged before hopping into the Vista Cruiser. Once they were gone, Paul faced Nico with that look that meant he was thinking of how to fix all of Nico's problems. It was the look Mr. and Mrs. Jackson got every time Nico's life got worse; they looked at him with genuine concern rather than pity and he really didn't know how to handle it.

"Not going to the disco, huh?" Paul asked him.

Nico shrugged noncommittally. "Bunch of fake people listening to shitty music? No thanks."

Paul considered him for a moment and just before Nico started squirming under his gaze, Paul chuckled. "You can't dance, can you?"

"I can dance," Nico bristled. The knowing smile he received told him that he had responded too defensively. He tried again, "I can dance." But a moment later he caved, "You're right, I can't dance. But that has nothing to do with this."

Paul shrugged. "That's fine, if you and Will are fighting or Percy said something stupid again, you can figure those problems out on your own. I'm not too worried about that. However, you got a problem, son. 'Cause when you date someone, they're going to want to dance."

Nico couldn't have looked more skeptical if he'd tried.

"They'll want to get close and wiggle their bodies around in front of a man in a safe atmosphere," Paul explained.

"Yeah, but, see, I don't really want to wiggle around in public," Nico said with obvious disdain at the mere thought.

Paul chuckled heartedly. "'Course not, neither do I. My point is, you're going to have to learn. Otherwise, later on in life, you're gonna be wiggling all by yourself. Now, if you want, I know someone who can help you."

There was only the briefest of hesitation before Nico nodded. He didn't really see the point of learning to dance, but he also didn't see how it could hurt.

(***)

Standing in the Jackson's living room with his hands on Sally Jackson's hip, Nico was beginning to have second thoughts about the whole arrangement. He clearly had two left feet and, though Sally was extremely happy to teach him, it was a bit overwhelming.

"Okay, now," Sally was saying, "left, right, left, turn, and step."

Nico stumbled through the last couple steps but Sally giggled happily as she reassured him.

"Mrs. Jackson, I can't keep up with the music," Nico argued.

Sally shut the music off before returning to their original position. Her hands on his shoulders and his on her waist. He was frowning in concentration as he thought through the steps she had been teaching him. Mrs. Jackson just smiled encouragingly at him.

After a few more stuttering steps, Sally repositioned one of his hands so that it rested on the small of her back so that he could guide her. A few more steps and Nico was starting to get the hang of it.

"Oh, you are doing so wonderfully," Sally praised.

Nico fought the urge to smile even as the corners of his lips moved up. The blinding smile Sally flashed at him as they continued to dance was the highest form of praise in Nico's mind. He'd always wished the Jackson's were his family and, for a moment, he was.

A few more spins and several more steps later, they walked into the kitchen, each breathing hard and sweating. Mrs. Jackson clapped a hand over her heart as she rambled on about how wonderful it was to dance again.

Fred walked up to the sliding door of the kitchen only to pause as he heard Sally speak.

"It's been so long since I've been able to do that," Sally sighed. "Oh, but I am exhausted. That is sweaty work."

Nico smiled a little more as she brought him a glass of water. After a couple sips, he sobered up. "Mrs. Jackson, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this."

"Mum's the word, Sweetie," she reassured. "So, is tomorrow after school, okay?"

Nico nodded as his small smile returned.

"You were really good, Nico," Sally added seriously.

Outside, on the patio, Fred Chase stared at the sliding door in astonishment. He'd heard everything his neighbor and daughter's friend had said. The shock of what he'd heard left him frozen in place.

(***)

The guys sat in a haze of smoke in the Jackson's basement. Leo and Frank were debating over who was hungrier while Jason slumped against Percy.

"Alright, I thought about it. And I'm going to the disco," Nico announced. "'Cause who else is gonna make fun of you idiots in your disco suits?"

There was a loud crunching sound as Leo struggled to open a bag of chips. "Yeah? Well, I went to the store today and I bought a new blowtorch! It's the hottest thing in the cave."

Percy's brow furrowed as he stared at Leo until he started laughing. "No more for Leo. He's toasted!"

"I would like some toast," Frank said, perking up instantly. "Or food of any kind would be much appreciated. I am starving."

Ignoring Frank's claims of starving, Nico leaned forward with a shocked expression. "Did you know there are these people in India who fast? Yeah, man! And their minds are so freakin' advanced, they can actually think themselves to death."

Leo stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth as he stared in awe at Nico.

"Man, we always think of so many brilliant things down here," Jason said as he sat up. "But then, later, I can't remember any of them! I mean, they're brilliant!"

Nico snapped his fingers. "We should record our conversations, man! Then we could play it back and write it down! I'll bet that's how the writers at National Lampoon do it."

"Yeah, well," Leo swayed in his seat, an enormous smile stretched across his face. "I read this thing about these people in Greece."

Frank crossed his arms and pouted, "Where's my toast?"

Jason leaned towards Leo with rapt attention. "Yeah, man, what do they do?"

"You see, mis amigos, they are incredibly… Greek!" Leo laughed.

"See, that's brilliant," Jason exclaimed. "Percy go get the tape recorder!"

Without a second thought, Percy did as he was told and rushed up the stairs to look for the recorder. Just before the door closed he heard Frank shout something about making toast. Huh, toast sounds good, Percy thought, I should make some toast.

Once he had the tape recorder slung around his shoulder, he pulled out slices of bread to make toast with. Paul walked into the kitchen and greeted Percy who turned to stare wide-eyed at him. The wall behind Paul was moving side-to-side even after Percy rubbed at his eyes to get them to focus.

"Hey, son, I know you need some extra cash for Saturday night, so if you do a few extra chores, I'll pay you ten more dollars, okay?" Paul suggested.

Percy didn't trust his voice so he just quietly nodded.

Paul nodded back as he began listing the chores that needed to be done. "You'll need to sweep the garage, clean the leaves out of the gutters, pick up dry cleaning, and fix the shelf in the pantry."

"Clean shelf, pick up garage, fix the leaves, and sweep up dry cleaning," Percy said, seriously.

Paul gave him a strange look before clarifying. "Pick up dry cleaning."

"Yeah."

"The gutters?"

"Right, fix the gutters," Percy agreed.

"Clean," Paul corrected. "Clean the gutters."

Percy nodded slowly. "Oh, okay. Clean the gutters, fix the shelf, sweep the leaves."

"The garage," Paul corrected again, thinking something was off with his son but unable to quite put his finger on it.

"Fix the garage?" Percy asked hesitantly.

Paul sighed. "No, sweep it. Sweep the garage."

Percy took a calming breath as he tried to get everything straight. "Okay, so, sweep the garage, clean the gutters, fix the shelf, pick up the dry cleaning. Wait, didn't you say something about leaves?"

"They're in the gutters," Paul explained slowly.

"Right, pick'em up. I mean, sweep. No! Clean them!" He groaned. This was too complex to think about right now. He needed something simple to focus on, like toast. "I gotta make toast."

(***)

The whole gang was standing in the Jackson's driveway, all of them dressed for the disco. Sally was busy snapping pictures of everyone while Marybai stood to the side encouraging her.

Hazel was wearing a ruby red sleeveless pantsuit which accentuated the gold of her eyes and hair. Frank stood at her side with a matching button up shirt and white bellbottoms. They were talking and giggling to one another slightly away from the rest of the group.

Reyna wore a short royal purple dress and her hair hung in waves down her back. Jason and Percy kept glancing back at her to make sure they hadn't simply imagined the dress-wearing warrior standing next to them. Jason and Percy both were wearing jeans and a blue button up shirt, though Percy's shirt was a slightly darker shade than Jason's. Reyna had scoffed at their matching outfits as she did every time she saw them wearing similar clothing.

Will had on a white suit with a shirt that matched the blue of his eyes. Leo stood next to him trying to show everyone how great his own butt looked in the jeans he'd been telling them about. He looked like he was going to be hanging out at the Big House rather than a disco but Will didn't seem to mind.

Standing near Reyna, Nico wore a leather jacket over one of his old Led Zeppelin T-shirts. He'd opted to wear his nicest jeans which only had one hole on the knee. Compared to the rest of them, he stood out like a sore thumb, not that he was complaining.

Annabeth showed up a few minutes late wearing a blue-green shirt tucked into a pair of high-waisted bell-bottoms. Her curls were pulled back into a high ponytail and Percy was fairly certain that his jaw had fallen off and was now lying somewhere on the ground below him. Piper was right behind her in a lavender cocktail dress with her hair still a mess of small braids. She giggled when Jason threw an arm around her waist and pulled her in close to whisper something in her ear.

"Oh, let's take some more pictures! Nico, get in closer," Sally ordered. Nico inched a little closer only to be pulled roughly into the center of the group by Jason's hand on the collar of his shirt. "Oh, goodie! Now, scooch in close!" Sally took a couple group photos before ordering the boys to move away so she could get a picture of the girls.

Reyna, Hazel, Piper, and Annabeth smiled politely for a few pictures before Sally's attention shifted back to the guys.

"Okay, now the boys. Oh, so handsome!" Sally giggled.

The guys begrudgingly grouped together for more pictures but as Sally began looking for more photographing opportunities, Percy suggested, "Hey, mom, why don't I take a picture of you?"

Sally froze. "What?" When Percy reached out for the camera, Sally stepped back. "No, no, no, no, no. You get in that car right now, Mister. Bye, bye."

The gang divided up, half piling into Percy's Vista Cruiser, the other half climbing into Frank's old car. Nico ran over to kiss Sally on the cheek before they left. "You're the best," he told her before following after his friends.

"Go get'em, Tiger," Sally called after him.

(***)

After seeing the kids off, Marybai followed Sally into the Jackson's kitchen. She hovered by the table for a moment before hesitantly approaching the counter where Sally was cutting lemons.

"I need some advice," Marybai began. Sally looked at her friend expectantly. "I have this married friend and she's about to throw everything away because she's attracted to a much, much younger man."

Sally paused for a second to think. "I knew that Beryl was on the market."

Marybai sighed dramatically. "No, it's not Beryl."

"Oh," Sally pursed her lips as she tried to think of who else would cheat on their husband. Finally, she asked, "Do I know her?"

"Yes, very well," Marybai said with a suggestive nod of her head.

Sally's eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. "Oh, Honey, does Fred know?"

"Yes, and he doesn't know what to do," Marybai said. "Sally, I don't know what to do."

Turning to face her neighbor, Sally leaned in and replied in a serious tone, "Marybai, Sweetie, listen closely. Your friend should think about all of the people she's gonna hurt and tell this younger man - whoever he is, I do not want to know - that this has to stop."

Marybai let out a breath she'd been holding. "I'm so relieved to hear you say that. I just hope my friend takes your advice."

"Oh, me, too," Sally laughed nervously as she eyed Marybai.

Hmm, they both thought, Younger man, wonder what that's like?

(***)

At the disco, the gang watched quietly as Leo flailed about on the dance floor. Percy and Jason snickered as Nico rolled his eyes. Will was uncharacteristically calm while his boyfriend made a fool of himself. A few seconds of wild gesturing later, Leo seemed to realize that his friends had left him alone and he ran towards the table.

"Will, where'd you go?" he pouted.

The blonde shrugged noncommittally.

"He had to get something for you to bite on, since I told everyone you were having a seizure," Nico answered for Will. Leo flipped him off by way of responding and Will shot him a glare before going back to ignoring him.

Frank furrowed his brow as he listened closely to the music. "When do they play the disco music?"

Annabeth chuckled. "This is disco music."

"No, no. This is samba," Frank argued.

Nico scoffed. "Frank, it's disco, man. It's shit."

"Whoa, I think I like this shit," Frank said, standing. "Come on, Hazel! Let's dance."

Hazel's eyes widened in shock, her mouth opening and closing silently for a second. "I don't think… I mean, Frank, I can't really dance and I'm a little tired." She looked away, scared he would see through her lie. Honestly, she just didn't want him to embarrass himself in front of so many people.

The music seemed to give Frank a boost of confidence as he fixed Hazel with a determined stare and commanded, "Do not resist me. It's boogie time." He gripped her hand and pulled her out to the dance floor.

"Who knew Frank had it in him," Piper breathed.

The gang watched awestruck as Frank twirled Hazel expertly around the dance floor. As the song continued, Frank lifted Hazel in the air and spun her around.

Reyna whistled. "Damn, the foreigner has moves."

Their dance ended with one of Hazel's legs lifted up to Frank's waist. They held the position, eyes locked, even as Frank walked backwards to the table. Once at the table, Frank let Hazel stand upright again but, when the next song began to play, Frank didn't wait a second to pull her back to the floor.

"Frank, you're crazy," Hazel giggled delightedly as she was dragged away.

Annabeth laughed in disbelief. "They are amazing!"

Leo crossed his arms and spluttered. "Yeah, I mean, sure. If you wanna dance that way."

Will had leaned forward to watch the couple dreamily. "I would love to dance that way."

"You wanna dance?" Nico asked before he could stop himself. He winced as Leo shot him a look of utter disbelief that was beginning to show signs of betrayal.

Will either didn't notice or didn't care because he excitedly agreed.

Nico tossed his sunglasses onto the table before guiding Will to the dance floor. He decided to ignore the angry eyes boring holes into his back as he pulled Will in so close that their faces were barely inches apart. Listening to the rhythm of the music, he led Will into a simple dance.

A few steps into the dance, Will broke eye contact and giggled nervously. "You dance? I had no idea."

Nico spun Will around before returning them to their steady rhythm. "Yeah. Actually, you're my first dance."

Will's blue eyes found Nico's again as a faint blush spread across his cheeks. "I'm your first?" Nico nodded. "I'm honored."

"So, what pissed you off the other day?" Nico asked when he realized they'd just been staring silently at each other for longer than was absolutely necessary. "You stormed out of the basement like someone had set fire to you or something."

Even in the dark, Will was sure Nico could see the blush burning it's way across his face and down his neck. "Uh, oh. That? Um. I had just remembered something Leo had done that made me mad. Yeah, that's… that's all."

Nico raised an eyebrow at him. "Then why did you tell Leo one of us pissed you off?"

"Uh, what? I mean, I don't… Um… I lied?" Will tried.

"Right," Nico said, more confused than anything.

After deciding that conversation only led to more awkward confusion, Nico and Will continued their steady swaying in silence. Eyes locked onto one another even when Nico slowly dipped Will.

Quietly, Will whispered, "Nico, I feel like I wanna kiss you."

Nico pulled him back upright just as slowly as he'd dipped him and held him close for a second, the meaning of Will's words not quite reaching his brain.

"You don't have to kiss me back if you don't want," Will continued quietly.

One of the hands on Will's waist made its way up to his curly hair and pulled him closer. Nico had only one thought running through his head as his lips met Will's: What the hell am I doing? Which, coincidentally, seemed to be the same thing Leo was thinking as he shouted, "What the hell are you doing, Nico?"

The two boys were roughly pulled apart by a very angry Latino. "Alright, that's it! It's you and me right here, right now! Will is my guy, Nico."

Nico stared at Will in disbelief as he resisted the urge to touch his lips, even as he watched Will dazedly touch his own. Not knowing what else to do, Nico turned and ran to the parking lot where he sat down in Percy's car. He stared down at his hands, not quite knowing what to make of what had just happened.

(***)

Paul was working on the Camaro in his driveway when Fred Chase walked up. He waited patiently for Fred to tell him what he wanted. But, when Fred remained silent, he finally looked up. "Okay, Fred. What is it?"

"Oh, just, uh, curious," Fred answered with all the subtlety of a freight train. "What's the word on that di Angelo kid?"

"Nico? He's a little rebellious, just needs some direction."

Fred huffed out a breath. "Oh, he's getting it, Paul. I, uh, I kind of overheard him and Sally and it was sort of provocative. I think he's putting the moves on your wife."

Paul groaned internally as he thought of all the rumors Fred had probably already started. He was going to have to do plenty of damage control for that, he was sure. Right now, though, he was going to have a bit of fun. In a melodramatic voice, he replied, "Oh, my god. Now I've gotta kill him. Get your deer rifle, Fred."

"Whoa, hold on, now, Paul!" Fred said quickly, trying to diffuse the situation. "I could've been mistaken!"

"You know what you heard! Get the damn gun."

Fred's arms flailed about as if grasping for a reason for Paul not to shoot the teenager in question. "Come on, they could've been dancing! Jeez, I'm sure she was just talking about dancing. You know, 'cause they're all going to that disco." He laughed nervously as he patted Paul's shoulder reassuringly.

"Dancing, huh?" Paul asked with a smirk. "Why, Fred, that would be downright logical. Good thing I didn't shoot him."

He laughed as realization dawned in Fred's eyes.

(***)

Annabeth and Percy stood in the Jackson's driveway a few hours later, having dropped their friends off at their respective homes. Percy's lopsided grin was firmly in place as he leaned against his Vista Cruiser.

"So, Nico dancing. What a surprise," he chuckled.

"I know!" she said in amused disbelief.

He bumped her shoulder when she leaned against the car beside him. "You looked like you were having fun."

"Well, you know, disco fever. You catch it. But don't worry, I'm better now," she replied.

They stood in comfortable silence for a little while before an idea came to Percy. "Hey, do you recall that night we crossed the Rio Grande?"

Annabeth's face scrunched up as she tried to figure out what the hell her Seaweed Brain was talking about. They had never once been outside New York together, let alone outside the country.

"I can see it in your eyes," Percy continued.

"Are you high?" she asked.

"How proud you were," he began to sing, "to fight for freedom in this land."

Annabeth laughed as she figured out what he was trying to do. "No, shut up, don't. Don't. No, shhh!"

Even as Annabeth tried to stifle his singing, Percy continued, slightly off-key and a lot louder, "There was something in the air that night! The stars were bright!" Annabeth managed to cover his mouth but he continued, "Fernando! They were…" She removed her hand with a laugh. "I'm sorry. I hate dance music."

"Why'd you go, then, Seaweed Brain?"

"'Cause I like you, Wise Girl."

Annabeth nodded slowly as she gave him a serious look. "So, you're in like with me?"

He bumped her shoulder again as she began laughing at him. "Annabeth, I'm… I'm in…" He struggled to find the right words and, instead, decided to show her. He leaned over and kissed her. Still wrapped up in each other, he admitted, "I can't dance."

"You'll learn," she said adamantly.

They swayed gently from side-to-side as they both began singing loudly. "There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright! Fernando! They were shining for you and me and liberty! Fernando! Though we never thought we could lose. There's no regret, if I had to do the same again."

(***)

Nico was listening to a tape recording of him and the guys in the circle. It was probably the stupidest thing he had ever heard, something about aliens and Leo being a cow. When the basement door opened, he casually leaned over to pause the recording.

He tensed when he saw Annabeth standing in the doorway.

"Hey," she muttered.

A nod was all the greeting he gave in return.

Annabeth sighed heavily before closing the door. "Okay, Nico, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't have brought that up, I know how much Percy hurt you and I'm an idiot for ever bringing it up. Please, please, please, forgive me."

He saw the genuine guilt and sadness in her gray eyes and knew there was no way he was going to be able to remain angry with her. "Alright. Fine, just stop looking at me like that. It's annoying."

"Thank you, so much!" she breathed a sigh of relief before a smirk crossed her lips. "Thought you might be over it, since Percy's apparently not your type anymore."

Nico's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, clearly, you've got a thing for young blondes now," she retorted. She rushed out the door with a laugh, just barely dodging the couch cushion he threw at her.


	10. Turkey Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to diverge from the show in this chapter so prepare yourself. Also, I apologize for the hiatus, it's a long story...

A long drawn out sigh came from the backseat of the Camaro as Percy slumped down. The Jackson's had been waiting at the bus station for thirty minutes waiting for Calypso and her friend. Paul had turned the car - and the heat - off despite the fact that it was the end of November in New York and snow was falling from the sky for probably the tenth day in a row.

Percy shifted and groaned. "Can we turn the heat on? I'm freezing."

"I'm not wasting gas just so you can be comfortable," Paul answered through chattering teeth. "Oh, and you'll be sleeping in the basement, Perce."

Percy groaned even louder as he slouched further down.

"I've been thinking," Sally said as she burrowed deeper into her thick jacket, "maybe this Thanksgiving we should skip the big turkey. Piggly Wiggly has the small turkeys on sale this year. Poseidon doesn't even eat turkey, so I don't want to work myself to the bone for something that's not going to be eaten."

Paul shook his head with a glare. "This family doesn't scrimp on holidays. We'll eat every bit of that turkey and you know it."

Sally shifted uncomfortably in her seat, she'd been trying to find ways to save money for weeks but Paul was still in denial that anything was wrong. She'd taken to buying generic rather than brand name without his knowledge just to save a dollar or two.

The car started suddenly, much to everyone's relief. Percy let out a sigh only to groan again when the door opened to let in a rush of cold air. Calypso sneered at him as she climbed into the backseat followed closely by a girl with fiery red curls.

"Hey, Daddy! This is Rachel," Calypso greeted cheerfully. There was a moment of pause before she added as an afterthought, "Mother, Perseus."

Rachel's jeans and jacket were covered in paint spatter. She seemed just as annoyed with Calypso as Percy always was which only made him confused. Why follow someone around if you didn't like them? What did Calypso have on her?

He narrowed his eyes at the newcomer, unsure if he should trust her or fear her. When she noticed the suspicious look he was sending her way, Rachel snorted.

"Easy, kid," Rachel said with a laugh. "I'm an art major, the worst I can do is critique your style."

With that statement, Percy knew he both feared and trusted her.

The car ride was relatively quiet with only a small family dispute breaking out over whether or not Calypso was sleeping with her professor. Percy may or may not have been to blame for starting that little argument.

When they pulled into their driveway, Sally sighed as she saw Marybai Chase meandering around the Jackson's kitchen. Percy resisted another urge to groan as he caught sight of Will and Leo sitting at the dining room table.

There had been an unspoken rule that Will was not allowed back at the Jackson household after the Disco Fiasco of '76. Leo had punched Nico in the arm and the two of them had been fine friends again. Will, however, remained a bit of a tense subject, so everyone thought it best to keep him away. From what Leo had told the gang, he and Will were taking a break.

Percy got out of the car apprehensively. He saw Annabeth waiting for him on the patio with a sheepish smile. When she shuffled up next to him with the same shamefaced grin on her otherwise perfect face, he groaned aloud.

"What'd you do?" he demanded to know.

She straightened his collar with gloved hands. "Well, Leo said that Will felt really bad about what happened and he's just as much our friend as Nico or Jason, right? So, I figured he would be welcome here. It's been a week anyways. Everything should be fine and if Leo and Will can still be friends after everything I don't see why we can't be friends with him."

Her tone had morphed into anger at some point during her tirade and Percy realized begrudgingly that he'd already lost any chance of winning the argument. With a little effort he managed to smile and nodded in agreement.

"Son," Paul called from the car where he was unloading Calypso and Rachel's bags, "show Rachel to your room."

Annabeth's grasp on his collar tightened so much that Percy found breathing to be somewhat difficult. "Rachel? Who's Rachel?" she asked with a cheery smile and eyes that promised death if he answered incorrectly.

Percy swallowed. "She's Calypso's friend from college. She's staying in my room and I'll be in the basement." The grip didn't loosen for a minute, so Percy kept rambling. "Or I could sleep at Leo's house across town. I'm sure his parents won't even notice I'm there with all his siblings running around."

Finally, her hands released him as she rolled her eyes at him. She opened her mouth to reply, probably to call him a seaweed brain, but a sharp laugh stopped her. A hand landed solidly on his shoulder and he saw red curls out of the corner of his eye.

Laughter bubbled out of Rachel's mouth before she could stop herself. "Don't worry so much, Princess. I don't even like men."

"That's why your friends with Calypso!" Percy shouted without thinking before adding a quiet, "Sorry."

Rachel snorted. "No, Kelp Face, I'm not interested in women either."

Annabeth's eyes stared at the newcomer with a calculated gaze. "Then what are you interested in?"

"Painting, the rebellion, strange music, you know, the usual hippie crap," she answered. "If you mean romantically, then my dream person would have to be tall, bronzed, and the Greek god of the sun and prophecy."

Percy's face scrunched up. "Did you just describe the god Apollo?"

"Yeah, I've had an obsession with that guy since I learned about him in fifth grade. But even then I think I was more attracted to the idea of being the Oracle of Delphi"

Annabeth began to giggle. "Oh, I like you."

The two girls were still discussing Greek gods when they entered the kitchen. Will raised an eyebrow when he heard his father's name but seemed to catch on when he also heard a flying chariot mentioned.

"Hey, Leo," Percy greeted and after only the slightest of pauses, he continued, "Will."

Will smiled tensely as Leo nodded in acknowledgement.

Percy caught Annabeth's eye before running a hand through his hair. "So, you guys wanna hang out in the kitchen with my mom or you gonna come hang out in the basement?"

The bright spark of hope that lit up Will's eyes made Percy feel guilty for ignoring him for so long. From what he had seen around school, Will only ever hung out with the prankster couple Lou Ellen and Cecil. The two were usually so wrapped up in each other and their pranks that Will ended up left out, though. Percy squirmed uncomfortably under the gaze of those too blue eyes as the guilt welled up in him.

The boys stomped down the stairs while Annabeth and Rachel Elizabeth Dare followed quietly.

Nico was lounging in his usual chair peeling an apple with a pocket knife he'd stolen from Leo a few days ago. His sunglasses were on even though it was fairly dark inside the Jackson's basement and his mouth was set in a firm line as it had been for the last week. As Percy came down the stairs he worried that he may have made a bad decision in letting Will join them.

On the couch, Jason, Piper, and Frank were squished together joking about some prank the Stoll brothers had pulled on the mayor's office earlier. Hazel sat on the arm of the couch leaning heavily on Frank's shoulder with a gentle smile on her face.

Reyna was sharpening a wicked looking knife on the lawn chair while she glared daggers at the scrawny blond sitting directly in front of the television with a panda stuffed animal clutched tightly to his chest. Her mother had all but ordered her to take Octavian with her so that she could have a moment of peace from his ravings.

Hearing the newcomers make it down the stairs, the group stared in awe at the new red head. When Will stepped out from behind Percy, though, everyone turned their attention to their resident anarchist.

The sunglasses hid any major facial responses he may have had but they did not hide the way the corner of his lips twitched.

Will hovered awkwardly at the foot of the stairs while Leo plopped himself onto the free arm of the couch effectively forgetting his ex-boyfriend. Annabeth smiled encouragingly at him before she went to sit on the floor near Reyna. Percy moved quickly away from Will to hide behind Jason and Piper.

Rachel Elizabeth Dare glanced around the uncomfortably tense room with a confused smile and a small wave at the startled group of high schoolers. "Either you guys have never seen an art major or Preppy ran over someone's dog."

At the reminder, Leo jumped up to Will's defense before Nico could say anything to hurt his feelings. "He's been hanging out with us for weeks, he stood up to Clarisse and Chris, he gave up his ticket to the Todd Rundgren concert, and he helped Annabeth find Percy a birthday gift. Will belongs here as much as the rest of us and if you disagree then you can… you can leave, tonto del culo."

The small Italian continued staring in silence at the blond for a moment longer before returning his attention back to his apple peeling, a smirk on his lips. "If he wants to stay then go for it but I think that last step is proving to be a little too difficult for him."

Will breathed out a quiet sigh of relief as he finally stepped off that last step. Rachel sat down beside Annabeth on the floor and Will stood between Leo and Nico.

"So, who's your new friend?" Hazel asked in an attempt to move on from the tense subject.

"Rachel Elizabeth Dare," Percy answered, "she's Calypso's art major friend who isn't interested in men or women. But, Nico you'll be glad to know, she is interested in the rebellion."

One of Nico's eyebrows raised above the top of his sunglasses. "Hmm, sounds like my kind of woman."

Leo muttered something under his breath before stating loudly, "That's too long of a name. I'm calling you RED from now on."

"Because of my hair or because of my initials?" Rachel asked with a challenging raise of her eyebrow.

"Your initi… ¡Hostia puta! Your initials do spell RED!" Leo gasped.

Rachel looked to Percy in utter disbelief and Nico snorted. "He's set himself on fire so many times that the fumes have killed most of his brain cells," Nico explained.

"Right on, man," RED said with a chuckle.

The group began making jokes at Leo's expense. With the attention shifted assuredly elsewhere, Will leaned towards Nico and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Nico stiffened when he looked up and found Will so close. He hoped to every deity he could think of that the heat blooming across his face wasn't visible. "There's nothing to apologize for, Sunshine," he whispered back, grateful that his sunglasses hid the fact that his eyes were lingering a little too long on the blond's lips.

(***)

"I've decided to major in philosophy," Calypso informed them proudly over breakfast the next morning.

Percy moved the peas on his plate around with his fork. "That's good, I heard they just opened up that big philosophy factory down in Albany."

Paul fixed him with a glare even as Rachel struggled to keep from doing a spit take. "Perce, go sweep the garage."

"Yes, sir."

Percy opened the door just as the phone started ringing. He slammed the door shut in his haste to get to the phone. The deep and jovial voice that answered him from the other end of the phone made him laugh out loud. He hadn't heard from his father in months and had started to worry that he wouldn't hear from him again for another sixteen years.

"Poseidon!" Percy said in disbelief.

"Hey, son, just calling to make sure that invitation to your family's Thanksgiving dinner is still valid," Poseidon replied easily.

Percy's cheeks were hurting from how long he'd been smiling. "Yeah! Of course. I didn't think you were going to come. I mean, I didn't think you'd be able to get shore leave for this."

A deep laugh rumbled through the phone. "I managed to pull a few strings."

They talked for a few minutes more before Percy hung up the phone and turned to face his family and their guest. Sally and Paul smiled knowingly as the two college girls stared at him in confusion.

"Poseidon's coming for Thanksgiving," Percy announced.

Calypso sneered at him. "Probably just coming to tell you he's thankful he didn't have to raise you."

"Oh, I almost forgot, the orphanage called and said they were thankful Paul adopted you," Percy shot back.

She started to call him an idiot before freezing. "Daddy?"

"No, Cal, you're not adopted. Percy don't lie to your sister like that," Paul said without looking up from his newspaper.

A gentle tap came from the sliding door just before it opened to reveal Fred Chase. He waved awkwardly at the people before him. "Hey, fancy running into you guys."

Paul put the paper down a bit to stare at his neighbor. "Fred, we live here."

"Yep." He paused as he realized what he'd said. "Anyways, I actually wanted to talk to you, Sally. The community college I work for is looking for a professor with a focus in journalism and I suggested you. The pay isn't much but you'd get to help with the school paper and I know you're having issues at work, so…"

The family stared in shock as Fred shifted nervously from foot-to-foot.

Sally laughed in disbelief. "Fred, thank you! That's perfect, when do I start?"

"Oh, you… Uh, how does the day after Thanksgiving sound?" Fred stammered.

(***)

Leo was hunting down some pieces of metal around the Jackson's house since he knew he wouldn't be able to find any at his own home thanks to his older brother. He'd already searched Percy's room which was currently covered in RED's art supplies and a few of her paintings that Leo found creepily beautiful.

Upon hearing footsteps coming up the stairs, he dove through the first door he saw without thought. After registering that the room he dove into was occupied by a startled Calypso he reprimanded himself for being so jumpy. He hung out so often at the Jackson's that no one would have questioned his being on the second floor.

"I was just looking for stuff for a project," Leo mumbled as he pressed close to the door. "Someone was coming up the stairs and I didn't realize this was your room?"

He didn't know why he phrased that into a question but his brain was short circuiting as he realized he'd caught Calypso in the midst of her getting ready for bed. Her loose light purple T-shirt had the Ogygia University logo on the right breast pocket and her sweatpants were covered in dirt and grass stains. He'd caught her in the middle of removing her makeup as one eye had been wiped clean of all the powders and mascara she wore on the other. Leo forgot how to breathe.

Calypso's brow furrowed as she began yelling at him, "What're you staring for, you creep?"

"You're beautiful," Leo said reverently. He couldn't remember a time he'd been so speechless. Growing up with Percy, he'd seen Calypso all his life but she'd always seemed like some fairytale goddess, something imaginary and out of reach. But seeing her appearance slightly dishevelled, it made her so much more attractive to him.

The blush that ghosted over her nose as she struggled to form a response made Leo's heart skip a beat.

There was some shouting coming from downstairs and Leo was vaguely aware that it was Percy looking for him but his mind elected to ignore it for the moment. It wasn't until Calypso quietly told him she needed to get ready for bed that he nodded and turned to leave.

A huff and some shuffling from behind him made him turn and he found Calypso standing a couple feet away. One of her hands gently held the back of his neck to guide him towards her as the other ghosted up his arm.

Their lips met in the barest of kisses before Calypso pulled away and ushered Leo out the door. Leo's body buzzed with an imagined electricity as he leaned heavily against the closed door. He'd made out with several guys and girls throughout his life but that peck on the lips blew them all out of the water.

In a daze he drifted down to the Jackson's living room where Percy and Jason were still looking for him. They shared a concerned look when they saw the distracted look in their friend's eyes.

"Uh, Leo, you good?" Jason asked.

"Mhmm," Leo muttered dreamily.

Percy rolled his eyes. "Probably has something to do with my witch of a sister and I don't wanna know."

"Mhmm," Leo repeated as he gazed starry-eyed at the stairs.

"Ew," Percy grumbled.

(***)

The next evening, Leo found himself in the Big House with Nico and Reyna. They kept giving him weird looks, probably because he wasn't cracking stupid jokes or flirting with the foreign exchange student who kept trying to get his attention. He hadn't really been paying attention, too busy daydreaming but he managed to make some half-assed joke about her name which he was fairly certain was Echo. Judging by her giggle he'd at least gotten that right.

When Echo finally figured out that Leo just wasn't interested she moved along to flirt with some blond guy staring at himself in a pocket mirror. Nico slammed his hands down on the table in front of him. Leo jumped and let out a girly squeal.

"Okay, what the hell, man?" Nico almost shouted.

Reyna pointed a french fry accusingly at him, "You're quiet and haven't set fire to anything in over twenty-four hours. If someone has threatened you or your family, I will destroy them for you."

Nico nodded slowly. "You may be like the annoying little brother I never wanted but I will legitimately send someone's ass to the depths of Tartarus if they've threatened you or harmed you in any way."

"Oh, please," Leo snorted. "Have you seen who I'm friends with? You two scare away any pendejos. Annabeth, Percy, and Jason scare everyone away from you which scares them away from me. I've got double the layer of protection thanks to you, eses."

Reyna put the fry down to lean in close. "Are you on drugs?"

"No, la cuate," Leo scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

"Nah, we'd know if he were on drugs. He's annoying enough as is, could you imagine him on drugs?" Nico grumbled. He stared at his friend in silence for a second before his eyes flashed intimidatingly. "Wait, you're not in love with Will again are you?"

Leo blinked slowly. "What? No way, man. He's a cool guy but he's not really my type. And apparently I'm not his either," he added the last bit with a lewd grin.

A blush flared up across Nico's pale skin that had Leo laughing hysterically.

Reyna threw a fry at the giggling Latino to get him to focus. "Well, something's up so come on, out with it, Valdez." When Leo gave her another excuse, she took a deep breath and levelled her glare on him. "Valdez, be honest with me or my foot is going to go so far up your ass that it'll have to be surgically removed, understood?"

The boy in question gulped and turned to Nico for help who was pretending not to notice.

"Fine, there's this girl that I've always kind of liked but never really thought much of until recently. Have you ever looked at someone and thought you knew everything about them based on how they looked, but then one day they do something and you realize that they're just so much more than this stereotype?"

He looked up to see if his friends were following along with his rantings, they both nodded solemnly for him to continue.

"Well, I always thought this girl was kind of… I just always thought she was perfect in every way - maybe a little loose and easy with the guys but I can't really say anything about that. Anyways, I just always thought she was so incredibly flawless that I never considered her as someone who I could ever really see myself with. But I saw her the other day, her hair a mess, her face only partially put together, and her clothes covered in grass stains. I'd never seen her with so many flaws and I just… She was gorgeous," Leo finished in hushed awe.

Nico groaned. "You're talking about Calypso, aren't you?"

Leo's face turned fire engine red as he floundered for an excuse.

"Dude, you were messing around at the Jackson's and stumbled into Calypso's room when she was getting ready for bed. She already told half of us about it, I just don't see why you're moping around like some lovesick puppy over it," Reyna sighed as she leaned her chair back.

There was a beat of silence. "Wait, she told you that she kissed me?" Leo asked in amazement.

Reyna's chair slipped, spilling her out on the floor as Nico choked on a fry. "SHE WHAT?"

(***)

Sally strolled into the kitchen to finish preparations for Thanksgiving only to find three high school boys hanging out in her kitchen. Although, if she were being honest, they looked more like gossiping old women by how they leaned close to whisper to one another.

"Well, what's the word, ladies?" She said, digging around in a drawer for her oven mitt.

All three boys jumped away from each other before breathing a sigh of relief when they saw who had interrupted their discussion. Percy stood up to give his mother a quick hug as Jason and Nico slouched in their chairs.

"Oh, don't let me keep you girls from your stories," Sally encouraged as she began preparing the turkey.

Jason chuckled goodnaturedly. "It's nothing, Mrs. Jackson. Leo's just got a big crush on Calypso and we're joking about it."

After handing the boys a small bowl of potatoes and a couple knives to peel them with, Sally said, "Well, that poor boy has always had a crush on her. I remember when you boys were little, he'd nearly set the house on fire every week trying to impress that girl."

"Hmph," Nico muttered as he carefully peeled at a potato, "he seems pretty serious about it this time."

"I personally think she put some kind of love spell on him and sealed it with that kiss," Percy said, pointing his knife at Nico and Jason to reinforce his point.

A plastic pie tin clattered to the floor. The boys turned to see Mrs. Jackson staring at them with wide eyes. "She did what now?"

Jason and Nico turned to Percy expectantly. With a heavy sigh and a silent reminder to get new friends, Percy explained how his sister had made out with one of his friends.

When he was finished, Sally turned her back to them without a word to finish prepping the turkey. She was just setting the timer and gathering up the now peeled potatoes from the boys when Poseidon tapped on the sliding door.

"Oh, good, Poseidon," Sally exclaimed. "Watch the turkey and make sure this pot of water doesn't boil over!"

She rushed out of the kitchen and was up the stairs before Poseidon could formulate a response. He looked to his son for an explanation but Percy just shrugged in response.

Calypso was lying in bed, painting her nails a fiery red when her stepmother swept into the room. The look of pure confusion on Sally's face caused Calypso to pause in her usual snarky remark. "What?"

"Calypso, honey, Leo is a sweet kid," Sally started, "please tell me you're not going to just play with his heart like you do. He thinks that you kissing him meant something. You need to go tell him the truth."

Nail polish spilled out of the bottle as it toppled over the edge of the bed when Calypso jumped out of the bed. "Who told you?" she demanded. "Who told you that I kissed him?"

Sally stared at her stepdaughter in confusion. She hadn't expected her to get upset so upset. "The boys were discussing it downstairs."

Without another word, Calypso was storming down the stairs.

(***)

Annabeth and Piper were sitting at the Chase's dining table watching Leo pace back and forth across the kitchen. Will was perched on the kitchen's island picking lint off his gray polo shirt.

"I hope it's not awkward to talk about this in front of you," Leo was saying to Will who looked up innocently. Will smiled encouragingly and waved him on. "Okay," he said turning his attention back to the girls, "what do you think that kiss meant?"

Piper tugged at one of her braids. "Knowing Cal there's no telling. It could be her telling you she likes you or it could be she's playing you. And even if she does like you now, that doesn't guarantee that she'll feel the same way you seem to feel about her."

Leo threw his hands up in frustration. "You girls are no help. Will?"

"I gotta go with Beauty Queen on this one," Will said with a small shrug of his shoulders.

The door to the kitchen swung open just as Leo leaned against the island. Calypso stood in the doorway, anger burning her dark almond eyes. Seeing the angry college girl glaring at the boy next to him, Will hopped off the island and scooted a few feet away from his ex-boyfriend.

"We need to talk, Valdez," Calypso said in a tone that left no room for debate.

Annabeth gripped Piper's arm and began dragging her friend towards the living room door that Will had already disappeared through. "We'll leave you two alone."

"No, you should stay," Calypso said coolly. "We don't keep secrets, apparently. We just go blabbing every gods forsaken thing to the nearest person."

Leo blinked twice before he managed to find his voice again. "Cal, what're you…?"

"Despite popular opinion, Leonidas Valdez, I do NOT just go around kissing guys," Calypso stated with a quiet anger. "I actually thought you were a decent person and that… I don't know…Doesn't matter now. You've proven that you're just another horny, little rat who can't help but spread more rumors about people."

Piper breathed out slowly,"Oh, honey."

Before Leo could open his mouth and say something stupid, Annabeth spoke up, "Calypso, Leo didn't spread any rumors. He was worrying some of us because he was acting all lovesick and weird. Some... idiots forced him to tell them why and they're the ones that blew the whole thing out of proportion. I highly doubt Leo was even aware they were saying anything, he's been over here with us all day gushing about you."

Leo stared blankly at the wise girl. "Gee, thanks, Annabeth."

His expression softened, though, when Calypso's shoulders relaxed. Her eyes shifted to him as she struggled to find a response. Her attempts at an apology went unheard as he smiled softly at her.

"I completely understand why you thought that and I am sorry," he said much to everyone's surprise. To Piper and Annabeth's astonished faces, he answered, "My dad's disabled, Beckendorf's face is fucked from a blow torch mishap, Nyssa and I are bisexual, Chris and Shane were both held back a grade, Jason's a college dropout living at home, and Harley's a freaking psychopath. On top of all that, my family is one of the only three latino families in town and we're the only family of pyromaniacs. Trust me, I've dealt with my fair share of rumors; I understand where Calypso is coming from."

Tugging at her auburn hair, Calypso tried to hide her blush. She mumbled something under her breath but quickly bolted out the door before Leo could ask her to repeat herself.

"Dear Vulcan, she's amazing," Leo whispered as he leaned heavily against the island.

(***)

Once dinner had been prepared and set out for everyone, Sally and Paul informed the high schoolers and Calypso that they would be sitting at the kitchen table while the adults ate in the dining room. Percy grumbled and groaned even while following Annabeth to the kitchen table. Calypso begrudgingly went to sit next to her brother but Leo pulled her into the seat next to his. She gave him a strange look as Nico sat in the chair she had been about to take but Leo just winked conspiratorially at her.

They were halfway through dinner and Annabeth was in the middle of offering to help tutor Calypso when Nico and Percy's chairs gave out from beneath them with an audible crack. The girls gasped in surprise as Leo called out in faux concern, "Oh, wow, guys. You alright?"

Calypso covered her mouth as she struggled to keep from giggling even as Leo shot her another wink.

By the time the adults made it into the kitchen to see what all the commotion had been about, Percy and Nico had already settle down in the floor.

"Well, son, think you might want to lay off the turkey for awhile," Poseidon laughed.

Paul went to look at Percy's broken chair to find a couple screws missing, he shot a look at Leo who smiled innocently at him. "Leo, was this you?" Paul asked.

"It couldn't have been Leo, Daddy, he was with me and Piper all day," Calypso said, quickly coming to Leo's defense.

Leo gently nudged her foot with his under the table as Paul and Poseidon moved two old folding chairs in for Nico and Percy at Sally's request. Once the adults had left to resume their dinner, Leo leaned over to whisper a quick thank you to Calypso.

She gave him a wink of her own. "Our little secret," she whispered as she grabbed his hand under the table.


	11. Family Bonding Time

Point Place, New York

Thursday Afternoon

4:17 p.m.

Percy Jackson's Basement

Hazel was perched on the back of the couch, tugging at a curl as she watched Frank and Leo standing behind the couch. The social studies textbook in front of her had long since been forgotten in favor of watching her friends. She idly smoothed out a wrinkle on her purple vest; her knee-length, black skirt shifted when she moved the textbook off her lap.

"Are you ready?" Leo asked, positioning his hands underneath Frank's with his palms up.

Frank nodded as he stared intently at his hands. Hazel giggled quietly at his intense concentration. She couldn't help but think he looked adorable in his light pink button-up shirt despite Nico's snide remarks about it.

Thinking of the brooding Italian, she glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was wearing his usual leather jacket and ripped jeans but for the first time in weeks he didn't have his sunglasses on him. He was watching Frank and Leo expectantly along with Will who was leaning against the side of Nico's recliner in a light gray sweater vest and his ever constant sandals despite the chilly weather. They had been spending more and more time together over the past few days much to everyone's surprise.

Opposites attract, I guess, Hazel thought to herself.

Percy and Annabeth were kneeling on the couch cushions facing Leo and Frank with barely contained snickers. Jason sat in the floor with Piper in his lap, too busy whispering in each other's ear to pay much attention to anybody else.

A sharp smack forced her attention back to the two boys in front of her where she found Frank staring in confusion at where Leo had smacked his hands. Leo sniggered with a triumphant fist in the air.

"Too slow," the Latino teased.

Frank blinked slowly before smiling sweetly. "Oh, I see how this game is played. May I try?"

Hazel tugged nervously at her hair as she worried about the jokes the group was probably going to make at Frank's expense. Leo placed his hands over Frank's with the kind of cockiness that came from years of getting away with pranks. Pursing her lips, Hazel prepared to jump to Frank's defense at a moment's notice.

Both of Frank's hands came up, but as Leo pulled his hands away, those two hands landed sharply on both of the Latino's cheeks. There was a moment of awed silence before Frank smiled triumphantly. "Too slow," he mocked.

Leo's arms flailed around and Hazel swore he would have burst into flames if he could've.

"No, Frank, that's not how you play," Leo griped. To reinforce his point he placed his hands out again. "You're supposed to hit my…"

Frank's hands landed on Leo's with an abrupt smack. "Too slow."

The three on the couch laughed delightedly as Leo threw his hands up in the air. Will slapped a hand over his mouth in a failed attempt to smother his giggling while Nico chuckled quietly beside him. The couple in the floor smiled up at the rest trying to determine what had happened around them.

Leo was on the verge of throwing a temper tantrum when Sally came down the stairs with a plate full of chocolate chip cookies.

"Who wants cookies?" she asked. Instead of voicing a reply, the teenagers groped wildly at the plate. Percy picked out the one blue cookie on the plate, unimpressed by the standard colored cookies. "Oh, honey," she added as she was heading back up the stairs, "I picked out a real snazzy outfit for you to wear on career day."

Percy choked causing blue cookie crumbs to fall haphazardly on his obnoxiously bright orange shirt. Struggling to swallow, he looked at his mother with wide, terrified eyes. "Oh, um, yay?"

Sally fixed him with her cool gaze. "Well, fine, Mister. I - for one - cannot wait to show off my little man at my new job."

A few snickers came from his left, without looking he knew Nico and Will were laughing at him. "You know what? Me neither," Percy said with conviction even as he turned to his friends to mouth the words, "help me."

Sally rolled her eyes but left the teenagers alone.

"Career day, man? That's so lame," Nico snickered.

Hazel scoffed. "You're just saying that 'cause your mother's the lunch lady."

She felt his icy glare on her as he replied grumpily, "At least my mother isn't some phoney psychic."

Hazel opened and closed her mouth before stammering the only defense she could think of, "She's not a psychic, she's a fortune-teller."

"Nico's mom is Crazy Maria?" Piper gasped.

Nico rolled his eyes. "She's not crazy."

"Dude, your mom tried to get a law passed that would outlaw cars and have them all shot off into space," Jason pointed out with a skeptical quirk of his eyebrow.

"She was grieving; it was a difficult time," Nico said defensively. "We'd only been in America for a month before…"

The ending to the unfinished sentence hung heavily on the group as many of them remembered that horrific day. They'd only been seven at the time but it was a day that had changed many of them forever. Piper and Frank didn't know what had caused the tense silence but they felt the magnitude of grief that hung heavily in the air. Will had merely heard stories and rumors about Bianca di Angelo and the tragedy surrounding her. He'd never gone out of his way to figure out her story, ignored anyone who tried to talk about that awful car crash. Having tragically lost two of his own siblings, he knew how hard it was to move on when your peers wouldn't stop reminding you.

A few seconds ticked by and the despondent air lessened in pressure, giving Will the capability to find the words that had died in his throat moments ago. "Hazel, your mother isn't Marie the Marvelous is she?"

He heard a quite scoff from beside him before Nico said, "Is that what she calls herself? I always called her Marie the Mediocre."

Golden curls bounced in the air as Hazel dropped her head into her hands. "How do you know her?" she groaned.

"She threw coins at me last week when I was walking by her store; she said they were cursed," Will explained. An apologetic smile settled on his lips as Hazel's golden eyes filled with humiliation. The more time he spent with this group of friends the more normal his own parents became.

Percy's brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed as they darted to and fro, solving some invisible equation. A hand passed quickly in front of him and he vaguely noted that it was Annabeth trying to get his attention. There were clues all around him, he just needed a few more seconds to figure out what they were clues to. "Marie the French variation of Maria."

"Wow, Perce," Jason chuckled. "Great detective work."

"No, no," Percy hurriedly waved him away and turned to Nico who was shooting him a warning glare. "You said your dad left because…"

Hazel was shrinking in her seat at the same time that Nico was leaning threateningly towards Percy. The boy in the tacky orange shirt was going to toss all their family's drama out into the open and no one was prepared for that.

The door to the basement swung open before Percy could finish his statement. Paul's heavy footsteps sounded angrily through the tense quiet of the basement. Unaware of the dangerous territory his son had been about to ignorantly traipse through, Paul advised Percy to get to the garage immediately.

"One second, Dad," Percy started, "I just…"

"I need you to explain what you did to this car," Paul all but growled.

The color in Percy's cheeks drained away quickly as he rushed out to the garage with a quick farewell over his shoulder.

(***)

In the Jackson's garage, Percy held a flashlight for his father who was trying to figure out what was wrong with the Vista Cruiser. They'd been standing over the hood of the car for what felt like hours. Percy's arm was growing tired from holding the same position for so long, he knew his dad's back had to be killing him, too.

Paul shouted out some orders to his son to hold the flashlight steadier to which Percy groaned even as he did what he was told. He knew he was supposed to be shining the light on the carburetor but he wasn't entirely sure which contraption the carburetor was.

"Not in my eyes," Paul ordered. "Do I look like the carburetor, son?"

With a lopsided grin, Percy retorted, "Not in this light, sir."

A chuckle answered him. "That's one," his dad said with a lukewarm glare over his shoulder and another laugh. "You'd think your teachers would take five minutes out of teaching macrame and show you how to hold a flashlight."

The beam of light trembled as Percy shifted the flashlight to his other hand. "Isn't that what college is for?"

"That's two," Paul stated. With a quick look over his shoulder, he added, "One more and you're out."

Percy smirked at the reminder. His father had told him that if he could go the whole evening without making three snarky remarks he wouldn't have to do any chores for a week. The idea of not having to clean the gutters or mow the lawn for another week was more than enough incentive to keep him from making another retort.

The older man straightened up with a heavy groan of pain as he stepped away from the car's hood. Assuming they were done for the day, Percy flicked the flashlight off and joyfully let his arm fall limp.

Paul wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "The damn thing's shot. I'll have to get a rebuild kit but we should be able to finish this up tomorrow."

"Uh, Dad, tomorrow's Career Day," Percy reminded him. "I'm going to the college with mom."

"Hmm, alright," Paul amended, "I'll fix the car tomorrow. Maybe you'll learn how to hold a flashlight."

Percy laughed as his dad patted him on the back and headed back into the house.

(***)

"This is my office," Sally said with a flourish as if the broom closet with a desk was the most impressive thing she'd ever seen. She'd only been working there for a couple of weeks but her office was already covered in knick-knacks and motivational posters. "My first class is just right down here."

They walked around a bend in the hallway and almost ran into a giant of a man with a mess of brown hair surrounding his head. Percy had to crane his neck back to see the guy's face which towered a good foot over Percy's 5 foot and 10 inches.

Sally didn't even bat an eye as she greeted the giant cheerfully.

When the giant turned to face him, Percy swore the guy only had one eye until he realized it was just his eyes going cross-eyed from staring directly up at the guy. He raised a hand slowly to say hello as he stared in shock at the college student.

"You must be Percy, I recognize you from the pictures," the giant boomed. "Your face cleared up nicely."

Percy's shock turned to full-on embarrassment as he realized his mother had been showing off his awkward middle school yearbook pictures to her students. His mother had the decency to at least look slightly apologetic when he looked in her direction. "Thanks for noticing," he muttered.

"This is Tyson, he takes photographs for the newspaper and his girlfriend, Ella Harpy, is one of the best writers we have right now," Sally explained to her son.

Tyson beamed down at them showing off two rows of crooked teeth.

"Doctor Johnson," called out a voice from behind them. Percy turned to find a short, chubby man who looked like a long-haired Danny Devito and vaguely reminded him of Mr. D of the Big House. "I just talked to the Dean. Why didn't you send him the papers I told you to sign?"

Sally smiled politely. "Because you didn't give me any papers, Dr. Bacchus."

Hippie Danny Devito waved a stack of papers in Sally's face as his face began to redden and his voice raised. "I most certainly did, Jefferson." Sally and Percy's eyes fell to the stack of papers being waved in their direction. Following their line of sight, Dr. Bacchus calmed slightly before thrusting the papers into Sally's arms. "Well, the next time I have something to give you, you tell me."

"Yes, sir," Sally said, flipping through the papers.

"What's his problem?" Tyson asked innocently.

Percy's mom patted the big guy's arm reassuringly as she gave him random excuses for her colleague's mood swings. Despite her reassurances, Percy was fairly certain the real reason had to with the fact the professor reeked of alcohol.

(***)

The school cafeteria kitchen was barely lit by flickering fluorescent lights creating a dull glow along the metal appliances. Nico strolled into the large kitchen with the dread of someone walking to their doom; Will stepped carefully behind him into the unknown territory. Blue eyes flickered quickly about the kitchen appliances in complete awe as obsidian ones glared at the woman in the center of the room.

Standing over a large vat of some form of soup that would be served for lunch later was a middle aged woman with dark, graying hair. The woman turned to glance at the newcomers with her dull, dark eyes before returning her attention on her stirring.

"Maria," Nico greeted coolly.

"Nicolo," she replied impassively.

Will quirked an eyebrow at the name but kept his mouth shut due to the warning glare Nico shot him. The blonde was still meandering around the kitchen while Nico took a seat on a nearby table. "Will, this is my mother. Mamma, this is Will."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. di Angelo," Will said politely with a slight bow of his head.

Maria glanced to her son with a raise of a curious eyebrow. "He's a lot more polite than those other boys you hang around. That Jackson boy is something else I swear."

A red blush spread across pale cheeks as Nico turned away from his mother.

Will felt a momentary rush of bitterness that he assured himself was not jealousy before attempting to change the topic. "Is there anything you need help with, ma'am? I'd be more than happy to help."

Both of Maria's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Are you serious? È serio?"

Nico smirked. "Sì, he's very serious about helping people."

"Well, knock yourself out. I need help slicing those vegetables, just don't cut off a finger or anything. Nicolo, you can start slicing pizza."

"Oh, no, no, no. I am here as an observer, a fly on the wall - one of many," Nico retorted.

Maria turned away from her vat of soup to glower at her son. "Maledizione! Lazy, just like your father!"

Will froze in the process of cutting a tomato out of fear that any movement would set off a devastating chain reaction. There were ten seconds of intense silence before he heard Nico take a deep breath. He continued quietly slicing the tomato with a smile. A few days ago, Will had suggested Nico count backwards from ten whenever he felt his temper getting the best of him; he hadn't expected the Italian to actually take his advice.

With one more deep, calming breath, Nico replied, "No, actually, I'm lazy in a way entirely my own."

The knife stilled as Will fought down a laugh. He glanced over his shoulder at the dark haired boy on the opposite side of the room. When he caught the other boy's eyes, he shook his head with a fond smile. Nico shrugged nonchalantly and turned away to hide the way the corners of his own mouth were twitching up into a smile.

Maria rolled her eyes at her son before thrusting a pair of gloves towards Will. "Well, put these on, Piccolo." Will happily took the offered gloves. She tossed a pair at her son who grudgingly pulled them on. "Grazie, Polpetto."

Nico groaned at the nickname.

"What does that mean?" Will asked casually as he returned to his cutting.

Maria smiled kindly in his direction. "They are terms of endearment in Italy. Piccolo means little one. Polpetto means meatball."

Will dropped his knife as he doubled over laughing much to Nico's dismay.

(***)

The mayor's office was a dull beige hole that drained away any happiness or excitement Jason and Piper may have had before they entered. The overhead lights provided a fluorescent glare to everything in the room. Piper briefly considered parting the heavy curtains that hung behind the large wooden desk but she didn't think Mayor Grace would appreciate her messing with his sacred office.

Mayor Grace's secretary was a quiet, mousy woman with a gentle smile. Piper felt kind of bad for constantly forgetting she was there but the woman was so silent and inconspicuous that she found herself having a hard time focusing on her.

"Mr. Grace will be back in a few moments," the woman informed them. "If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask."

Jason smiled pleasantly. "Thank you, Ms. Hestia."

Once the secretary had returned to her desk and the door was closed, Piper turned to her boyfriend. "She's really nice."

"Yeah, she's the longest secretary Dad's ever had and the only one who hasn't tried to sleep with him, much to my stepmother's delight," Jason said with a sigh. "Honestly, I think this whole town would fall apart if she ever quit. I know Dad would crash and burn without her."

Piper chuckled. "Think we could follow her around, instead?"

"We could've just shadowed your father for the day," Jason bemoaned. "Would've been a lot more interesting than this."

"The school doesn't accept retirement as a career," Piper sighed.

A door along the wall to their left opened suddenly. Jason tensed as his father stepped into the room. His dark gray hair and beard were streaked with sporadic streaks of white causing them to look like controlled storm clouds with lightning piercing through them. Dark blue eyes regarded the two teenagers briefly before shifting their focus back to the files in his hands.

"Children," he greeted gruffly before handing them each a stack of pamphlets. "Spend the day handing these out."

Jason rolled his eyes as Piper stared at the pamphlets in her hands with mild confusion.

"Dad, we're supposed to follow you around and ask you questions," Jason explained as calmly as he could manage.

His father sat at his desk, staring intently at a stack of papers with a pen in hand. "Just have Ms. Hestia answer your questions before you leave. I do not have time in my schedule to babysit the two of you all day, unless you've changed your opinion of my meetings, Jason?"

A shudder ran down Jason's back when he thought of the last two hour long meeting he had sat through. It had been the longest and most boring two hours of his life that he would never get back. He grabbed Piper's arm and guided her back to the lobby where Ms. Hestia sat waiting for them with a knowing smile.

"Come on, Honey," she said quietly. "Let's get you two on your way, hm?"

(***)

The bell over Marie the Marvelous' shop rang out, signifying a new customer. Hazel watched in resigned defeat as her mother called dramatically out to the newcomer while Frank took the whole show in with rapt attention.

"Your mother is rather intense," Frank whispered.

Hazel giggled at the awe in Frank's voice. "Yeah, she can be. She doesn't scare you, does she?"

"No," Frank replied after a moment. "She may be eccentric and different but she did raise you, right? Parents do the best they can to keep you safe, even if you don't see that now, you will eventually."

The solemn tone Frank spoke in caused Hazel to stare slack-jawed. His usually sweet face had hardened and closed off as his eyes took on a far away look. Hazel gently placed a hand on his arm, worrying a little more when he ignored her touch. "Are you missing your parents?"

"I always miss my mom," he replied quietly before startling out of his daze. "I…"

Marie the Marvellous swept back into the room with her customer in tow. As she sat down beside her daughter and activated a hidden switch with her foot, Hazel squeezed Frank's arm reassuringly before turning to assist her mother in her scam.

(***)

In the Jackson's garage, Paul was trying his damnedest to get the carburetor working with little progress due to the lack of light. He heard his son's pyromaniac friend loudly rustling through Paul's tools but elected to ignore him for the time being. There was a smoke detector in the garage and every room of the house for a reason.

The kid's head popped up in his peripheral vision much to Paul's dismay. "Hey, Mr. J, what are you doing home? I was helping mom and dad at the shop but they had to go pick Nyx and Beckendorf up from school. Three football players got their underwear set on fire or something."

"Right," Paul muttered before an idea occurred to him. "Well, you wanna shine this flashlight on that carburetor there?"

Leo shrugged before picking up the flashlight. The hood of the car was flooded with light, Paul gasped. He turned to look at the young boy in a new light. "My gods, one of you's not useless!"

(***)

Annabeth waved cheerfully in Percy's direction when she caught sight of him in the hallways. He was talking animatedly to his mother and a giant college student but took the time to happily return her wave.

Her father's voice called out for her and she turned to follow him into a classroom. The room was ten times the size of the high school's classrooms with at least a hundred students all turning to stare at her. Well, to stare at her father's hair, but the eyes were pointed in her general direction.

To his credit, her dad valiantly ignored the snide remarks about his hair and walked confidently up to the stage at the front of the classroom. He directed her to sit behind the desk while he strode to the opposite side of the stage where a giant blackboard had been set up.

Watching her father lecture for an hour on the importance of language and grammar gave Annabeth a momentary glance at the serious man that lurked underneath his usual goofy demeanor. The way the students stared intently at their professor, all sarcastic remarks forgotten as they furiously wrote down every word he stated made Annabeth feel an intense pride for her dad.

Once the class was over and her father had finished answering questions, he returned to her side. "So, what do you think of the grand teaching career?" he asked jokingly.

Without missing a beat, she replied earnestly, "I think what you do is amazing."

She noticed his eyes widen in surprise before he wrapped her up in a bone-crushing hug.

(***)

The City Hall's lobby was relatively empty except for Jason and Piper who were quietly drinking coffee while they waited for the last council meeting to end for the day. So far Ms. Hestia had given them a tour, politely turned a blind eye while they drew on Mayor Grace's portrait, and bought them coffees.

"Wonder if I can steal her from your dad," Piper thought aloud. "She's the absolute best."

Jason chuckled. "Yeah, good luck with that. I'm convinced there's no other being alive that could deal with my father that calmly while also having my stepmom's full support."

Piper opened her mouth to reply but the chamber doors swung open before she could.

Mayor Grace appeared with his constant stern, superior attitude. "Children, come along."

"Do you think he's forgotten our names and that's why he just calls us children?" Piper whispered.

Jason huffed out a laugh. "I can guarantee you that is the reason."

(***)

"Question number three," Will read aloud, "was the food service industry your first career choice?"

Nico snorted. "Yeah, 'cause everyone dreams of working as a lunch lady."

His mother shot him a look before answering. "No, Mimmo, I dreamed of being a star. In fact, I was Medea in Medea at the Arena di Verona. Being on stage was simply magical."

"Wow," Will breathed.

"But then I found out I was pregnant for the second time," she continued with a quick glance at her son. "And the father of my children decided it was best for everyone if we all moved to America." She laughed without humor before continuing, "So much for that."

Nico glared at the floor, refusing to look at his mother. "Did you enjoy the story of the time I destroyed my mother's fabulous acting career?"

"I never blamed you, Polpetto," Maria shot back.

Will watched in shocked silence as the two began what was obviously a normal family squabble.

Nico jumped off the table he'd been perched on to point accusingly at her. "You've always blamed me, ever since…" There was a significant pause as Nico struggled to continue. "Ever since Bianca died and dad left, you've blamed me for all your damn problems."

"I suppose you want to blame me, then, for your father leaving?" she replied defensively.

"Hell, he must've been crazy to leave all this," Nico snapped.

Maria's hands flew up in the air as if to swat her son away. "Always a smartass, Nicolo, just like your father!"

Will took a step forward to reach out to Nico before the Italian came apart at the seams but he was a little too late as he watched the raven haired teen's mouth snap closed. Fists clenched, Nico stalked towards the nearest door. "You know the one thing dad did do right?" Nico asked quietly, with a grim determination in his dark eyes. "He left."

With that Nico was gone, leaving his mother simmering in her own anger and Will staring off after him. After muttering a quick apology to the lunch lady, Will took off after his friend unsure of what he was going to say when he finally caught up to him.

(***)

Paul was wiping down car parts when Will and Nico came stomping into the Jackson's garage. He placed the part on his work bench before turning to give the two boys his full attention. "What happened now?"

The blond boy was wringing his hands anxiously while hovering behind Nico who was clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Where's Jackson?" Nico muttered.

Will just barely managed to refrain from wincing. He was determined to get over his pathetic fit of jealousy every time Nico mentioned Percy, it was becoming ridiculous.

"He's with his mother for career day, which is where you're supposed to be. What's the problem?" Paul replied as he leaned against his work bench.

Nico threw his hands in the air with a frustrated groan. "I was at career day! And then damn Maria decided to start riding my ass again about being like my dad, so I just took off." When Paul quirked an eyebrow in his direction, Nico grumbled, "Don't give me that look, I can see the irony in my situation."

A warm hand landed softly on his shoulder. "Look, you and your mom have a bad history and neither of you can nurture the other's self-esteem because of past criticism and shame."

Nico and Will shared a look.

"I've been watching a lot of Donahue lately," Paul explained.

Both boys nodded in understanding. The sound of someone huffing was the only warning Nico got before Leo shot out from under the car holding a wrench. "I'm not sure just yet but I think I found the new joint."

"Bless you, son," Paul laughed.

Leo slid back under the car, leaving Nico and Will to staring warily after him.

(***)

Frank shifted in the uncomfortable folding chair before reading off his paper. "Okay, next question, Madame Marie: What has this job taught you?"

"One thing I've learned, if you're confident in what you say, anyone will believe you," Marie answered as she counted the money in her cash register. "And turns out people pay good money to hear whatever they want to hear."

Hazel scribbled on her paper. "Marketing is important. Know your customer."

Frank read over her shoulder as he copied her response.

"That's not what I said," Marie griped.

"Well, sure it is, Mom," Hazel argued. "It's just a cleaned up, more dignified way to say what you said."

Marie huffed, clearly upset. "Dignified? Are you trying to say you're embarrassed by me? What have I ever done that's embarrassing?"

Hazel glanced around the room, taking in the fake ghosts hanging in the rafters, the fake skeleton dressed like a hippie, and her mother's crazy hair. "Well, Mom, aside from the obvious, you throw things at people on the street and accuse me of being cursed to passersby. Including a friend of mine."

"The more insane I seem the more likely people are to remember me," her mother countered. "Look, honey, I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. I know it's hard for you but I'm doing this so I can help pay for your college tuition in the future."

Hazel smiled. "Really?"

Marie huffed. "Well, honey, I've made more than enough in the last couple weeks that I could easily afford to go buy better aesthetics for the shop but every extra cent is going towards you."

"I feel kind of bad, now," Hazel muttered.  
"Oh, no, no one feels bad at Marie the Marvellous' shop," her mother admonished softly. "Unless, you're paying me to pretend to talk to some dead relative."

(***)

Nico was dragged begrudgingly through the cafeteria doors by an out of breath Will. Having to chase down and argue with an irate Nico was not how he thought he was going to be spending Career Day.

There was an awkward moment where the mother and son simply stared at one another before Maria's shoulder relaxed minutely. "Nicolo, you came back."

"Yeah," Nico muttered.

"You don't know what that means to me," she continued. Will nudged Nico to move closer to his mother. "I'm sorry, I'm not a very good mother, am I?"

Nico shifted. "No, but you used to be."

"You're right," she agreed. "How about we do something together after we clean up?"

"Like what?" Nico asked skeptically.

Maria smirked. "I'll buy you a beer, how's that sound?"

Will's smile faded quickly as he realized what Nico's mother was suggesting. "But he's underage! That's illegal."

"So is having a kegger in an abandoned house," Nico said with a sly grin. "Besides, the legal drinking age for an Italian is a lot lower than it is in the states. And I've got my fake ID in case that doesn't work."

"That's my boy," Maria chuckled.

(***)

The gang was finishing up their reports in the Jackson's basement while Reyna watched television. Since her mother worked some classified job and her father was in the army overseas, she didn't have a parent she could shadow. Not wanting to shadow anyone else's parent either, she had convinced their school that she was not going to participate. The school had agreed quickly to keep the peace and let the girl go on her merry way.

"Think I could get away with saying my dad is a farmer? It would probably be a lot more interesting," Jason grumbled. "Also, he didn't even answer any of our questions, his secretary did."

Nico perked up. "Hestia still works there? Gods, she's the best."

Percy paused in his writing. "Is she the one that threw that big bonfire party a few years ago where I almost fell into the bonfire?"

"Yup, that's the one," Jason laughed. "The only story involving fire that Leo wasn't apart of."

Annabeth finished her paper with a flourish. "So, what do you guys want to do when you graduate. I mean, I'm going to be an architect and Will wants to be a doctor. But what about the rest of you?"

"I want to design ships and planes," Leo answered seriously.

The group stared in surprise at him but he didn't elaborate so they moved on.

"Nothing to do with talking to the dead, ever," Hazel grumbled.

Nico scribbled something down before answering, "Maybe a mortician, that sounds fun."

Hazel shot him a look which he effectively ignored.

"To never have to sit through another council meeting again," Jason groaned.

"Frank, what about you? You going to go back to your native land with all this knowledge and rule with an iron fist?" Nico joked.

The Asian boy laughed awkwardly. "Guys, you know I'm from Canada, right?"

"WHAT?"


	12. Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be a long one, but it was so much fun to write! This chapter will focus heavily on Leo and his family, other characters are mentioned but not nearly as much - you've been warned. Also, all Spanish translations are in the footnotes. ENJOY!

Point Place, New York

Sunday Evening

8:38 p.m.

Leo Valdez's Driveway

The Valdez children and their parents were huddled around an older woman as she hobbled her way towards the family's car. Hephaestus quickly opened the door for the woman and tried his hardest to keep from just shoving the woman into the vehicle. His wife, Esperanza, forced a smile as she handed the woman a plate of leftovers.

"Here, Callida," she said pleasantly enough, "I made you a plate for the road."

Leo offered awkwardly near the driver's side, shifting from foot to foot. He had been the unlucky one to draw the short straw and now had to drive his Tia Callida to the airport. His dad's aunt had never gotten along with Leo's mother. Every time she came for a visit, those old enough to drive had to decide who the unlucky bastard was that would have to put up with her nagging for an hour to the airport. This had been the first year that Leo had to participate and, of course, he had to draw the short straw since luck never seemed to be on his side.

"This reminds me, Hephaestus," Callida was saying as she lifted up the plate of leftovers, "my garbage disposal is still broken."

Esperanza's smile tightened as she forced herself to remain calm. "Well, just so long as you enjoy it."

With a sickeningly sweet smile, Callida replied breezily, "I've got an idea. Let's eat out next time I come for a visit. That way, everybody can get something they like."

Leo quickly hopped in the car, wondering briefly if he could just drive off and find a new family with a less bitchy great aunt. "Vamos, Tia Callida," he called out as urgently as he dared.

"Mijo, you have to warm the car up for at least ten minutes," his father warned.

As she got into the car, Tia Callida rambled on, "¡Ay! He's such a good boy. Such a shame he doesn't have a better home life. You know, Essie," Leo could practically see his mother's patience snapping in two at the nickname, "when I was raising children, the right way to…"

The car door slammed shut, cutting off the rest of her 'suggestions'.

"That's warm enough," Hephaestus said pointedly.

Leo fidgeted in his seat. "But you just said…"

"Show me tail lights, Leonidas," his mother ordered.

"¡Vamonos! tia," Leo shouted. Tires squealed as he sped out of the driveway.

(***)

They were only about thirty minutes away from the airport listening to a Juan Carlos Calderon's Eres tu. His aunt was glaring pointedly at the radio but had yet to say anything about his choice of music so he refused to turn it off.

The lack of nagging only lasted a few seconds longer, though, as she cried, "Turn off that devil music." Leo begrudgingly reached over to turn off the radio. "Watch the road!"

The sudden shout in his ears made him swerve in alarm. He refrained from using any of the slew of Spanish curses that had popped into his head. They drove in silence for a little while longer; Leo was fairly certain he was in limbo and the airport was a figment of his tortured mind.

"You don't like when I come to visit," Tia Callida remarked.

"Yes, I do," Leo argued half-heartedly.

His tia huffed in disappointment at his answer. "You're a filthy liar. I know you didn't learn that from mi sobrino. Tu madre te enseñó eso, es la esposa del diablo."

Leo's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "¡Dios! That's the problem, tia. You show up to our home and insult my mami."

"I tell it like it is."

"Alright," Leo grumbled. "Then here's how it is, tia. You're a very nasty, old woman. And I don't see why you have to be so hateful. I don't think being nice for one whole day would kill you." A heavy weight fell on his shoulder, turning he saw the top of his aunt's head resting on his small shoulders. "Uh, tia?" When no one answered, he slammed on the brakes and watched horrified as his aunt flopped into the dashboard. "Tia? ¡Joder!"

(***)

An hour later and Leo found himself in the Jackson's driveway shooting hoops. He hadn't been paying attention - the monotonous routine of throwing a ball and catching it when it inevitably bounced off the backboard had drained him of all coherent thought - when Annabeth walked up to him.

Gray eyes watched in silence as he continued his endless routine before she caught the ball before it reached his hands, effectively breaking the cycle. It took a second for his brain to catch up with what had just occurred but eventually he nodded in acknowledgment.

"Hey," he muttered.

Annabeth's eyebrows went up. "No snappy remark? No cocky grin? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Leo numbly pointed in the direction of his family's car which he refused to return home. Still slumped over in the passenger's seat was his tia. Annabeth stared at his great aunt for a good second, trying to figure out what it was she was looking at.

"Why is your great aunt sleeping in the car?" she asked hesitantly, almost hopefully.

"She's not sleeping," Leo mumbled as he continued to stare at the basketball hoop.

Annabeth breathed out slowly, eyes wide as she took in what he was saying. "That's what I was afraid you were going to say. What in Hades happened?"

Leo looked at her, eyes glazed over. "I was driving her to the airport, and then I yelled at her, and then she died."

"She just died?" Annabeth whispered. "What did you tell your parents?" Judging by the fact the woman was lying lifelessly in the family's car she was fairly certain she already knew the answer but her brain wasn't functioning at optimal levels.

"Oh, heck no! I am not telling papi his aunt died after I yelled at her!"

She put her hands on her hips and frowned disapprovingly at him. "Leo, are you insane? You need to do something!"

Before Leo could respond, Percy stepped out into his driveway wearing a blue plaid button-up shirt. He waved at the two of them and gestured at the Valdez's car. "Your great aunt alright, Valdez?"

Annabeth and Leo shared a look.

"Seaweed Brain," Annabeth said slowly, "she's dead."

Percy froze mid-step as his eyes widened in silent horror. His arms flailed about wildly as he struggled to find the words that could express the terrible emotions running through him. Nervously, he ran a hand through his dark hair. "Why did you bring her here?"

"Leo, focus," Annabeth ordered, ignoring her boyfriend. She grabbed the small Latino by the shoulders and gently shook him. "Clearly, you are in shock. You have to go home and tell your parents right now."

Percy nodded his head viciously. "Right now!"

The boy in question looked hesitantly between her and the car with his dead relative in it. Reluctantly, he inched towards the car. With a final pitiful look at his friends, he got in the car to bravely go face his parents.

He only lived a couple blocks from the Jacksons but he felt like the drive was taking hours now that he had a dead body lying next to him. He had intended to go home originally but when he'd caught sight of the Jackson's house he pulled in without hesitation, anything to prolong the inevitable.

When he finally pulled into his own family's driveway he saw Harley tinkering with an old radio on the front porch. A brief flare of panic rose up in him at the idea of his baby brother seeing their dead great aunt before he remembered that Harley rarely paid attention to anything when he was working on a project.

In the living room he found Nyssa giving Beckendorf advice on how to ask out his long time crush Silena Beauregard while Jake was busy hanging pictures for their mother. He could just barely make out the sounds of Shane and Chris playing a heated game of Monopoly judging by the yelling coming from the dining room.

Taking a deep breath, Leo stepped forward unsure what to say to the three pair of eyes that looked his way. He lifted the tupperware in his hands, hoping they would understand without him having to say anything.

Nyssa shared a look with Jake when their usually fidgety and talkative little brother stood silently in place with a strange look in his wide eyes. "Hey, Joker Boy," Nyssa said. Her tone said she was there for him if he needed a shoulder to cry on after she kicked the ass of whoever hurt him.

Leo stared blankly at her as he registered her nickname for him before his eyes fell back to the tupperware in his hands. "Where's mami and papi?" It took him a second to realize that small voice he was hearing was his own.

His siblings slowly pointed to the kitchen.

Esperanza was scrubbing furiously at the counters in the kitchen when Leo walked in. She looked up to greet him when she noticed the tupperware.

"Oh, she sent the leftovers back," Esperanza griped. She grabbed the tupperware from his hands to throw it into the refrigerator. "That is so typical of her, why do I even try to put up with her?"

"I think you may be coming down a little hard on Tia Callida this time," Leo hedged.

His mother crossed her arms as she continued fuming. "Well, you know what? She is just an evil, evil, horrible old woman. What did she say about me this time?"

Leo winced. "Not much."

Her eyes turned to take in his face and reached out with the back of her hand to feel his forehead. "Are you feeling alright, mi ardiente duende?"

The door to the kitchen swung open before Leo could answer. Hephaestus limped into the room with a gruff greeting as he moved to the refrigerator to grab a beer. "So, did Tia Callida get to the airport okay?"

"Did you not see the leftovers in the fridge?" Esperanza griped as she continued to worry over Leo.

Hephaestus sighed.

Taking a step away from his mother, Leo laughed uncomfortably. "Actually, um, you know, the strangest thing happened." His parents expectant looks made his mouth dry up and his tongue felt like it suddenly weighed a hundred pounds. "Um, it'd be easier to show you."

A few seconds later and the three of them were standing next to the passenger's side window staring at the dead woman. Hephaestus continued to blink in silence as Esperanza held Leo close. With one final squeeze, his mother released him reluctantly.

"Go inside, chiquito," she said quietly with a gentle push towards the door.

His siblings were huddled together in the living room gossiping over what their great aunt could have done or said to upset him so much. Well, all of his siblings except Harley who was still working hard on his project on the porch, just as oblivious of those around him as always.

Jake was leaning over the couch but straightened up when he saw Leo enter. "Hey, Supreme Commander, what's with the long face?"

"Dunno, Pillsbury Doughboy, what's with the fat head?" Leo retorted more out of habit than anything. A smack to the back of his head told him his mother had entered behind him. "Lo siento, mano."

Their mother guided Leo to join his siblings before releasing a drawn out sigh. "Queridos, su tía Callida murió hoy. Esto es un ... ¡Es una pérdida terrible!"

"Mami, didn't you just say that she was evil?" Leo asked.

She smacked him upside the head again. "We do not speak ill of the dead in this home."

Leo rubbed the back of his head even as a smirk spread across his face. "Since when?"

"Leonidas," his mother said warningly.

(***)

Two days had passed since Leo had yelled his great aunt to death when there was a knock at the door of the Valdez household. Esperanza gestured for one of her children to go answer the door as she continued cooking.

Leo nabbed a tortilla Espanola where they were piled up in the center of the table, elbowing Shane in the face in the process. Chris's fork got terrifyingly close to stabbing Leo's breakfast before Harley smacked the fork out of his way as he reached for his orange juice. Nyssa plucked two waffles off the stack that was haphazardly placed near the edge of the table before she hurried off to answer the door. Beckendorf and Jake reached out wildly from the table for anything edible to scarf down, uncaring of whose food it was originally. The only one who didn't have to fight for food was little Harley who sat happily in the midst of the chaos with a bowl of cereal.

Nyssa opened the door to find Calypso Jackson hovering awkwardly on their front porch. "¿Que pasa, Pija?"

One eyebrow raised in disdain. "Nada, peina bombillas." When Nyssa's eyebrows rose, Calypso added, "Yeah, I speak Spanish, la puta."

Nyssa nodded in respectful acceptance before stepping aside.

They entered the Valdez's kitchen to find Shane and Jake fighting over the last tortilla Espanola while Leo and Harley banged on the table chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!". Beckendorf took that as his cue to leave with a brief nod to Calypso he made his way out the door. Chris stuffed the last of the waffles into a bag before running after his older brother.

Watching in amusement from the door, Nyssa took a bite out of one of her waffles before shooting Calypso a wink. "Welcome to the family, bruja."

Hearing his sister's voice caused Leo to pause in his chantings to look behind him. With a smile and a flail of limbs, he gestured for a stunned Calypso to join him at the table. Calypso's eyes flickered to Nyssa but found the space next to her to be empty. A soft sigh passed her lips as she apprehensively approached the table.

The moment she sat down a plate of eggs and bacon was sat in front of her. She looked up to find Esperanza smiling down at her. "Hope this is alright."

Calypso stared at the food in surprise. "Oh, Mrs. Valdez, you didn't have to make me anything."

"Hush and eat up," Esperanza ordered with a wave of her hand. "It's nothing. I'm just glad you're here, hope you didn't have to miss anything important for your classes by being here."

"No, this couldn't have come at a better time, I was really unprepared for my finals," Calypso replied without thought. Upon realizing how insensitive she sounded, she quickly added, "But I am really sorry for your loss!"

She looked to Leo with wide eyes, almost certain that she was embarrassing herself in front of his family. The dark eyes that looked back at her were full of mirth as Leo struggled to hold back a laugh.

A hand swept past her and landed sharply on Leo's arm, shocking both of them. "Don't even start, Mister," Esperanza warned. "She's come all the way here to help out a family she isn't even apart of and I will not have you embarrassing her."

"I didn't do nothing," Leo argued.

Calypso laughed as Leo flailed about in frustration.

Esperanza patted Calypso gently on the back. "Eat up, honey, you need some meat on your bones."

She did as she was told and watched the rest of the Valdez family devour the last of the food on the table. Something gently tapped her knee; looking down, she saw a piece of toast being held out to her. Harley smiled reassuringly at her, encouraging her to take the offering. "Gracias," she whispered, smiling back at him when he giggled adorably.

The noisy kitchen fell silent as she finished her food. Turning, she found Hephaestus Valdez standing in the doorway. His children were watching him warily as his wife smiled reassuringly at him.

"How'd your brother take it, mi vida?' Esperanza asked softly.

Hephaestus grunted, "You know Ares, he's got two stages: anger and drinking. He started cussing and yelling, so I hung up on him. I'm not paying long distance to listen to that crap."

He ruffled up Leo's hair before sitting down at the table. Calypso laid a hand on Leo's knee, trying to comfort him any way she could. When he gave her a small smile she felt her shoulders relax ever so slightly.

(***)

Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper was playing on the radio in the Jackson's basement as Calypso and Leo sat on the couch. Calypso moved so that her simple lavender dress fell delicately over her folded knees before refocusing on Leo who was mysteriously already covered in grease and dirt despite not working on any cars.

"Leo, I don't care what you said to your great aunt. You did not kill her."

The Latino in question had been somber all day, the guilt eating away at his conscience. Deep down he knew that it wasn't his fault, she'd died from a heart attack caused by high cholesterol but it didn't change the fact that his last words to her had been harsh. "She was old and the shock of her great nephew telling her she was evil killed her. Even if it didn't, those were the last words I said to her."

Calypso swept a few stray strands of hair to the side before fixing him with a steely glare. "She was a bitchy, old woman who insulted you and your entire family every time she showed up. I remember when you'd come over here bawling your eyes out because of the things she said, heck you didn't even speak to her for two years once. Dying doesn't erase all the cruel words. If anything, you should feel proud of yourself for finally confronting her, at least you got to tell her how you feel."

Leo stared hard at his hands, unsure whether or not he was going to cry. Finally, he met her eyes. "You don't think I'm a bad person? I mean, my family's big on the whole don't speak ill of the dead, so they keep making it seem like she was secretly a saint or something."

A scoff fell from Calypso's lips. "Oh, please, that woman was the devil incarnate. You may speak freely with me about how terrible she was. I'm still pissed at her and I've only met her once, can't imagine how you've put up with it all these years."

"Oh, yeah, forgot about that." He had been five when he heard his great aunt had tried to get Percy taken away from his family for some imagined wrong. From what he understood, she'd tried the same thing with Jason, too. "I apologize on her behalf."

She merely shrugged.

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, just listening to the radio. "Thanks," Leo said quietly.

The door to the basement swung open violently as Nico strode into the room. "Hey, Valdez, let's get wasted."

Calypso rolled her eyes. "Oh, get lost, Zombie Boy, his great aunt just died."

"That old hag?" Nico's eyes widened before he nodded slowly. A devil-may-care smile crossed his face as he added, "Let's celebrate, by getting wasted."

Leo's easy smile returned in full force. "Now that's more like it. Nico, you're a real friend, ese."

The two boys disappeared through the door before Calypso could get a word in. A heavy sigh escaped her as she stood as she began to muster the focus it would take for her to study for her missed final. The banging of the door and the flurry of footsteps caused her to turn only to freeze when lips landed lightly onto her cheek. Leo winked at her and shot two finger guns in her direction before scurrying back out the door. The smile that spread across her face told her that Leo Valdez was going to be the death of her.

(***)

Hephaestus and his brother Ares were sitting on opposite sides of the Valdez's living room, glaring daggers at one another. Ares had stumbled into the house reeking of alcohol and vomit, already looking for a fight even though it was barely one in the afternoon. His old leather jacket was the only thing he wore that was even somewhat clean aside from the expensive sunglasses that rested on his head (though Hephaestus was fairly certain those had been stolen on his way here).

"How you holding up?" Hephaestus asked even as he dreaded the answer. Callida had been their last living relative, much to his dismay, as she'd been related to their mother who had shared in her disdain for him.

Ares crossed his arms. "Can't believe she's dead. Told her not to come see you, it wasn't good for her heart to be around all this chaos."

The incredulous glare Hephaestus shot his brother went unnoticed.

His brother had been in the process of making some other thinly veiled insult when Esperanza walked in carrying a plate of food.

"No red meat? What kind of pansy shit is this?" Ares griped.

Esperanza fixed him with a look that could kill. "Well, I was just trying to be nice but since you like it so much, this 'pansy shit' is all you're getting for the rest of your stay. ¡Disfruta, cabrón!"

The plate of ham sandwiches were set forcefully before the two men. Hephaestus smothered the smile threatening to cross his face as he watched his wife saunter away. The grumbling man on the other end of the living room was petulantly picking at the ham sandwiches.

"Don't know how you can tolerate that puta," Ares said hotly.

Hephaestus shook his head as the kitchen door slammed open again. "The hell you just call me?" Esperanza challenged. When Ares just glanced between her and his brother, she smacked at him with the wooden spoon in her hand. "You're gonna show us some respect or you can get out of our home."

The only answer was Hephaestus's loud guffaw at his brother's red faced pout.

(***)

Homer's was a small bar on the southside of town that was known for not carding underaged patrons. When Percy and his friends pulled into the barely lit parking lot of the bar, they stared at the neon lights on the front door in stunned silence.

Music drifted through the night air, becoming clearer the closer they got to the entrance. Once inside, they were able to distinguish that a live band was playing a cover of the J. Geils Band's House Party.

Nico guided the boys to a table off to the side.

Leo banged on the table enthusiastically as he shouted for a waitress until Nico ordered him to relax. When a waitress swung by their table, looking entirely unconvinced, Nico handed her his fake ID as he ordered a pitcher and five glasses. She glanced at the other boys, Leo in particular, but Nico casually explained, "The rest of these fellas left their IDs back at the military base."

Still looking unconvinced, the waitress rolled her eyes but went to retrieve the alcohol anyways.

"So, what military base are you from?" Frank jumped as a blonde girl appeared beside him.

Another blonde draped herself over Jason's shoulder and batted her eyes at Percy who stared at the two dumbfounded. Four pairs of eyes darted to Nico for answers. "It's a secret military base," he answered with a smirk.

"I'm Charybdis and this is my sister Scylla," the blonde beside Frank said sweetly.

"I'm Estaban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez," Leo answered, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "But you can call me Estaban."

Nico raised an eyebrow, "Sergeant Shaft."

With a nervous chuckle, Jason replied, "Name's Clark Kent."

Sea-green eyes lit up at the reference before Percy answered, "Name's Arthur Curry."

"I am Percy Jackson," Frank said with an innocent smile on his face when the real Percy Jackson stared at him.

When the waitress returned with their drinks, Charybdis told her, "Penelope, sweetie, put that on our tab and bring everybody a round of shots."

A few shots later and Leo drunkenly pulled Scylla onto his lap with a cocky grin just as two men walked in. They were each about four times the size of Leo but his drunken mind reassured him that he could take them.

"'Scuse me, fellas, but we need to talk to the ladies," the brunette guy told them with faux politeness. When Nico told them to buzz off, the same guy spoke up again with more force. "These ladies came in with us, and their leaving with us, got it?"

Frank unsteadily stood up and pointed a threatening finger at the men. "Get lost, douche nozzles."

The other guy with the blonde hair shoved Frank back down. "I think you've had quite enough rice wine, don't you?"

Without hesitation, Percy stood up so fast that his chair fell over. "Hey, you mess with Percy Jackson and you mess with me." With a chuckle, he added, "Douche nozzles."

"Are you looking for trouble?" the brunette said, puffing out his chest.

"You betcha," Percy said with gusto only to be knocked out cold a second later.

Jason and Nico were on the brunette in an instant while Leo and Frank tackled his friend. The girls chuckled at the scene before moving onto the next poor sap that caught their eye.

(***)

The clock on the kitchen wall said it was nearing two o'clock in the morning as Esperanza, Hephaestus, and Ares sat up in their nightclothes waiting for Leo to come back home. Ares snorted. "Kids been acting out, lately. It's normal for a kid, don't worry so much. He'll get in a couple bar fights and move on, it's what I did."

"It's normal for a teenager, so why are you still doing it?" Hephaestus asked, still watching the clock.

His brother flipped him off but otherwise refrained from responding.

Leo chose that moment to walk in with his head hung low, his wild hair partially covering his face. He didn't look up even when his mother grasped his shoulders to look him over. Upon finding nothing physically wrong with her son, Esperanza released a sigh of relief.

"Mijo, where have you been?" his father asked,

Leo muttered, "I went to a bar."

Esperanza's grip tightened on his shoulders. "Leonidas, have you been drinking""

"No, I've been fighting," Leo said as he lifted his head to show them his swollen, black eye and goofy grin.

His uncle barked out a laugh even as his parents scolded him.

Esperanza waved her hands about, unable to keep them still as she fretted over her son. "Oh dear gods above, Leo! Just because there has been a tragedy in the family, it's no reason to act crazy." She turned away, looking at her husband as she continued, "Leo in a bar fight like some kind of… bar fighter! Jake or Shane I could believe it, but Leo!"

"Mi alma, go to bed," Hephaestus said, gently guiding her to the door.

Leo watched as his mother worriedly looked him over from the doorway before she left. A hand landed solidly on his back and he found Ares looming over him with a smile. "Nice job, kid. You're handling this like a man."

A few seconds later and he was alone in the kitchen with his father.

"Leo," his father started, " sit down."

He did as his father instructed and sat on the opposite side of the kitchen table from his father. Hephaestus slid a beer across the table to his son. When Leo just stared at the beer, unsure of what he was supposed to do with it, his father chuckled.

"Don't drink it, put it on your eye."

Leo did so, rather disappointed.

His dad's deep rumbling laughter filled the kitchen. "I'm kidding, drink up."

Leo took a tentative sip, not wanting to appear too enthusiastic. "So, this is beer."

Hephaestus rolled his eyes.

(***)

Pastor Chiron was in the midst of his eulogy for Callida during her funeral a few days after Leo's bar fight. "And as much as we will miss Callida, we must remember that she is now in a far better place."

A chair squeaked behind him and Leo turned his head to see Nico leaning towards him. "You don't have to die to go to a better place, man, just drive fifty miles in any direction," he said with a smirk.

Leo choked down a laugh.

A few seats down from Nico, Piper was resting her head on Jason's shoulder.

"I don't know, Jason. It's just that, death is so unexpected. We're all so fragile and you never know when the flame of our lives will be snuffed out by the wind of death," she whispered.

Jason held her close. "Do funerals always make you poetic?"

Piper quietly laughed. "I think we should go celebrate our youth, what do you say?"

"Okay," Jason said quickly. He glanced around the funeral home for a place to go. "The car?"

"Or the coat room?" She suggested in a tone that suggested she'd had a plan from the get-go.

"Better."

The two of them stealthily removed themselves from the room.

(***)

Callida's coffin was open as everyone stepped forward to stand over her and offer their last thoughts.

Esperanza stepped up with a deep sigh as though this were the hardest thing she'd had to do. "I know we had our differences. I married Hephaestus and, and you hate everything and everyone. But, um, well, just try to be nicer to God, I guess."

Calypso sidled up to the coffin. "See you in Hell, Bitch."

Behind her was Nico. "Man, I can't believe they're just going to throw away that diamond ring." After a quick glance around, he reached down and took the ring with a smirk. "Thanks for the fifty bucks."

He left only to be replaced by Frank who glanced curiously into the casket. Who the hell is this? he thought before wandering after Nico again.

Hephaestus stepped up a few seconds later, closing his eyes to prepare himself. "Well, tia, I…" he opened his eyes only to find his aunt's eyes staring at up at him. "Oh, for goodness sakes."

Pastor Chiron was motioned over and he looked inquisitively into the casket. "Oh, sorry. Those should be closed," he said with a nervous chuckle as he leaned over to close Callida's eyes.

(***)

After leaving the casket, Calypso went in search of Leo who had disappeared the moment the pastor had allowed everyone to say their final words to the deceased. She found Leo sitting on a bench outside the funeral home, staring up at the clouds.

When he turned to her she faltered in her steps as she took in the black eye looking back at her. "Oh, wow. You got a black eye." His nervous smile made her add, "It looks pretty hot."

That got an outright laugh out of him. "Well, you should see the other guy."

"Did you really lay him out?" she inquired with a chuckle.

"No, but Frank did," Leo laughed. "The guy was huge! You should of seen him. The fact that I took the punch and lived is a testament to how tough I truly am."

Calypso shook her head even as she hugged him.

He hugged her back briefly. "Look, I'm sorry you've had to deal with my family and everything lately but it really means a lot to me. So, thank you."

"Are you kidding? Nyssa's going to teach me martial arts and your mom's already offered to teach me how to cook like twenty different Mexican dishes. Don't even get me started on Harley and his adorable little crush on me. Your family is so much fun to be around, there's never a dull moment."

Leo hugged her tightly. "Oh, just wait, they'll drive you insane before you know it."

(***)

After the funeral, the gang were helping Leo and his family unpack boxes of Callida's belongings that they had shipped over. Nico opened a box close to him and found a ton of camera parts alongside a ton of old pictures. When he asked about it, Hephaestus shrugged and explained that his great uncle had been an amateur photographer with his own dark room at one point.

Nico shuffled through a couple pictures out of curiosity only to stop when he realized what he was really seeing. He turned to Leo, an evil glint sparkling in his dark eyes. "Hey, Valdez, you have any naked pictures of your great aunt?"

The look of disgust that Leo shot him as Nico passed the box off to him caused Nico to double over in laughter. "No!" Leo answered vehemently.

"You do now!" Nico declared.

The two went inside, Nico laughing maniacally and Leo holding the box as far from him as possible.

Hephaestus was still rummaging through the boxes when he spotted it. An old train set his father had bought him for his seventh birthday, he had thought it had been lost forever. A fond smile spread across his face before his brother came up and grabbed the box with the train set.

"Oh, cool, our train set," Ares said. "I'll hold onto this."

"You are a grown man, Ares, what the hell do you want with a train set?" Hephaestus argued, grabbing the box back.

Ares huffed. "Well, what do you want with it? You're a grown man, too!"

Chris and Harley ran past them to enthusiastically dig through the boxes. Hephaestus gestured towards them while raising his eyebrows at his brother. "I'm a grown man with children, pendejo."

He caught his sons' attention and watched in amusement as they rushed off with the old train set. The wheels were already turning in Harley's eyes, Hephaestus noted warily. Before the night was over, the train would already be repainted and it's motor upgraded until it was going five times faster than it should. With a sigh he followed his children into the house, leaving his brother to grumble and complain by the car.

When Esperanza walked past a few seconds later, carrying a box of old letters Ares stopped her. "Go talk some sense into your husband and tell him to give me back that train!"

"Ares, I've got seven children, I don't have time for an overgrown man-child," she replied tiredly.

He stomped and fumed outside for a few more seconds before begrudgingly trudging in after them.

(***)

The moment Ares drove off on his motorcycle, the entire Valdez family breathed a sigh of relief. Harley had immediately returned to his new train set that was now painted gold and red. Shane and Chris were finding him small odds and ends so he could finish his upgrades before the end of the night despite their parents' concern.

Hephaestus watched his children in amusement for a few moments until Leo came back down the stairs. "Hey, papi," he motioned towards Harley, only mildly concerned, "you sure he's not gonna set the whole house on fire?"

"Nope," his dad answered honestly.

Leo snorted. "Nice."

"I can't believe tia kept them, probably thought they were Ares'," he said suddenly.

Not knowing what to say to that, Leo just nodded.

"You know the last thing I said to her was 'show me the tail lights'," Hephaestus continued.

Leo chuckled despite himself. "Papi, the last thing I said to her was, 'it wouldn't kill you to be nice'. But I think it did, 'cause she died."

The roaring laughter that answered him made him jump. He turned to find his father wiping away tears as he laughed heartily. "Oh, you lucky bastard."

"I know," Leo snickered.

Beckendorf passed them, a smirk on his face. "Grieving, I see."

"We all handle grief differently," Leo retorted, his smile spreading across his face. His dad ruffled his hair and he felt all the grief and worry melt away as everything returned to normalcy.

(***)

Calypso and Leo stopped by the graveyard the next day for 'closure' as Calypso put it. She waited for Leo a few yards away as he stood over Callida's grave.

"I know I'm supposed to feel bad for what I said to you, but, like you deserved it," he began. "I just hope that you don't get stuck here or whatever just because of what I said. So, I don't know. I forgive you?"

A falsetto voice replied to him, "I'll never accept it, I'll haunt you forever!"

Leo's face scrunched up as he leaned around the grave to find Nico squatting behind it. "Dios mio, ese. What are you doing?"

"Freezing my nads off for a joke, man," Nico explained with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love the Spanish language and loved writing this chapter. Hope y'all enjoyed it, as well, and hope I didn't mess up on the grammar with my Spanish too bad!
> 
> Translations (some of these have multiple meanings but I wrote the definitions in context to the situation in this chapter):
> 
> Tia: Aunt
> 
> Vamos: Come on
> 
> Mijo: Son
> 
> Ay: Oh (used as an exclamation)
> 
> Vamonos: Let's go
> 
> Eres tu: Was a famous Latino pop song back in the early 70s.
> 
> Mi sobrino: my nephew
> 
> Tu madre te enseñó eso, es la esposa del diablo: Your mother taught you that, she's the devil's wife.
> 
> Dios: God (used as an exclamation, such as "Oh, god" or dios mio meaning "oh my god")
> 
> Mami: Mommy
> 
> Joder: Fuck
> 
> Papi: Daddy
> 
> Mi ardiente duende: My fiery elf/goblin
> 
> Chiquito: Little boy
> 
> Lo siento, mano: I'm sorry, bro
> 
> Queridos, su tía Callida murió hoy: Dear ones, your Aunt Callida died today
> 
> Esto es un ... ¡Es una pérdida terrible!: This is a … It's a terrible tragedy!
> 
> ¿Que pasa, Pija?: What's up, prick/dick? (Pija can also refer to someone who's daddy pays for everything for them - preppy and lazy)
> 
> Nada, peina bombillas: Nothing, person who combs light bulbs (used as an insult - calling someone stupid - the Spanish are very creative in their insults)
> 
> La puta: The whore, bitch
> 
> Bruja: Witch
> 
> Mi vida: My life
> 
> Ese: Dude, bro
> 
> ¡Disfruta, cabrón!: Enjoy, Asshole!
> 
> Mi alma: My soul
> 
> Also, I got the name for the bar from the author of the Odyssey. Hence why the waitress's name shared a name with Odysseus's wife and Charybdis and Scylla made an appearance. And as for the names, if you don't know where I got Leo's name then shame on you (Hint: Suite Life of Zack and Cody). Jason's name was obviously from his reference as Superman and Percy Jackson's name was the real name of Aquaman (Had to look that one up, never been a huge fan of Aquaman sorry lol).


End file.
